For
the reasons stated above, many Saudi fathers ask for double
marriages—that is: give me your daughter and I will give you my daughter
or sister…and so on. In this way, they feel comfortable, that is: we
will protect his honour if he protects ours. This is how people in our
society use women for their own benefit—when they need money, or when
they need new wives. There are some Saudi women who earn wages, but the
money they get goes to the pockets of their fathers or husbands. For the
fear that their daughters’ salary might be appropriated by their
husbands, many Saudi fathers do not want their daughters married. To me,
this might be another reason why my father has literally put a ban on the
marriage of my sisters.
So,
how my sisters live in this society?
As
Saudi women, my sisters go through extraordinary suffering. They have no
right whatsoever to manage their lives by themselves. They are totally
dependent on my father, on me and their other brothers. They cannot go
anywhere alone, by themselves. Whenever anyone of them ventures outside,
some men (brother or father) must accompany her as her protector and
minder. They cannot even go out for such events like accident, hospital
emergency, etc. Believe me, when they need to go to a hospital, they have
to call my brother to take them there. He has to come from another city,
300km afar. Because they cannot drive (women in
Saudi Arabia
are banned from driving cars and are not allowed to go with non mahram)
and my father cannot drive, my sisters have no choice but to undergo such
unspeakable ordeal of agony. No matter how much urgent and emergency their
case, they must wait for their mahram (in this case, their brother)
to take them to hospital. There is no way out for them. Since my father
does not know how to use an ATM, when any of my sisters wants to withdraw
money from ATM, she must handover her card to a stranger (a man) to
withdraw money for her. When my sisters want to do regular shopping, they
must hand over the money to a stranger and he will charge whatever price
he wishes. These are just a few examples of the plights Saudi women go
through in their daily lives.
Some times I do think to leave my
job, just to stay with them.
So,
you might say: why not take them out of
Saudi Arabia
? This is utterly impossible. In
Saudi Arabia
, to secure a passport, a woman must have the written permission from her mahram
(father, brother or husband). Obtaining a passport is not enough for a
Saudi woman to travel alone. Her father (in case she is unmarried) must
sign special papers to permit her to go on a voyage on her own. Being
illiterate my father will never allow his daughters to leave
Saudi Arabia
, I am absolutely certain of this.
Sometime, I really wonder why
such an unbearable torment has been imposed on our women. My sisters
cannot do anything without the permission and assistance of my father or
brother. They are at home, all the time, watching television. There is no
sport for them to play, no work to attend to, no hope and nothing to live
for. The reality is that they are incarcerated in the biggest prison in
the world—
Saudi Arabia
, the land of the pure, unadulterated Islam.
One
might legitimately ask: why all these happen to Saudi women? Who is to be
blamed for this loathsome ordeal perpetrated on our women? It is quite
easy to blame the silly, inane Saudi laws, the wide-spread illiteracy
prevalent among the Saudi people and the archaic traditions for the
hopeless condition of our women. But think again. All these factors are
firmly rooted in Islam. It is Islam which is clearly the culprit. It is
the Islamic laws in
Saudi Arabia
which have rendered our women chattels of men, forced them into their
servitude and have completely robbed their dignity, honour and respect
they should deserve as women. To say the least, Islam has shaken and
shamed the very basic foundation of womanhood.
Islam
provides complete authority to a father to control his daughter/s. He has
full control to give her in marriage, to ban her from social life or even
to kill her. You might be shocked to learn that a Saudi father can kill
his daughter with complete impunity. Please know that even when he kills
his daughter, government will not kill the father because she is his
probity. According to Sharia, the government is not allowed to kill
a father if he kills his daughter or son for any reason.
In
Islam, a daughter cannot marry without her father’s permission—it is haram.
In nutshell, in Islam, a father is a holy man, a commander and a petulant
dictator. Even when he is illiterate, obdurate, unjust and insensible,
their children—especially the daughters, can do nothing against him.
So,
in my case what can I do?
The
straightforward answer to this question would be: nothing, I can do
virtually next to nothing to change the situation. If I file a case
against my father, the religious judge will ask him, ‘Why don’t you
let your daughters get married?’ My father’s vague answer will be,
“These girls are my responsibility (that is, under my safe custody), and
Allah will punish me if I don’t choose good husbands for them.” As a
proof of his sincere effort he might even produce evidence that all the
men he had sought were smokers and also will bring witnesses that they
were also non-praying (in mosque) Muslims. This will completely silence
the Islamic judge. He will find no ground to chastise my father; instead,
he might impose punishment on me for not respecting my father and his
decisions.
With
such anguish and frustration in my heart, I am patiently waiting for the
death of my father. Once he dies, the control of my sisters will
automatically transfer to me. Their ownership will officially be in my
name. I shall be their new possessor—just like cars, houses, goats,
camels etc. Then I shall be completely free to do with them whatever I
wish—Islam gives me all the authority. I could take them to Hell or to
Heaven—wherever I desire.
Readers:
please do not feel sorry or pity for my sisters. Compared to many other
Saudi women, they are quite lucky—they can visit shopping centres, once
or twice a year. They can use make ups and they can even listen to music.
The best freedom they have is that they can choose Television channels
they like to watch. For many Saudi women, this is a great privilege, if
you did not know.
< back
|