My Boyfriend Left Islam
Dear Ali Sina,
My name is Hanna and I am from
Australia. I am dating a Muslim guy and a few months ago I brought up the
question of marriage. He said that since I am a Buddhist he couldnít
marry me. I asked this question
Muslims replied that indeed Muslims could only marry
Jews and Christians. They immediately decided to convert me and threatened
me with Hell via private messages. Of course I was put off by this type of
behaviour but still thought it would be right to learn more about Islam.
After a week or so of studying I found your site. My boyfriend and I have
been reading your site and he said he didnít want to be a Muslim any
longer. He now visits a shrink because he has lost his identity. But he is
no longer in denial. He swore he would never even think of Islam. I want
him to be a Buddhist (at least for some time so that it will be easier for
him to overcome his fears).
And we are getting married! Islam will not prevent us
from being happy.
Thank you so much! You saved my life and my dreams!
P.S. He is going to mosque for the last time this
Friday and he wants to put secretly some of your articles somewhere in the
mosque. I know it is dangerous but we are already leaving
so I hope Muslims wonít hurt us. He says there are many potential
apostates in the mosque + he wants to free a few more people.
Dear Ali, I know you are extremely busy but my
boyfriend is so devastated.
He doesn't want to change his mind, not at all, but I
think he needs your support. Can you just congratulate him? Please!!!!!
That is very good news and I
thank you for sharing it with us. Your boyfriend is out of the woods
finally and he will never go back to Islam. Right now he is going through
the usual passage from faith to enlightenment. All of us apostates went
through that. For some this passage takes longer than for others. It took
me one year or so. Your boyfriend is much smarter than me. But he has you
as the support which makes a lot of difference. Positive support is
extremely important. I went through this dreadful passage all alone and it
Fear is natural. After my
enlightenment I was still caught in the claws of fear for another one year
or may be more. What made me overcome my fear was the book "Twenty
Three Years: A Study of the Prophetic Career of Mohammad" by Ali
Dashti, given to me by an apostate friend.
Knowledge, like light breaking through darkness is the best antidote to
fear. I suggest you and your boyfriend keep reading the articles in this
site. The more you equip yourselves with facts the easier you can fight
back the fear. Although the shattering of lies can be traumatic, I donít
think shrinks are necessary. Just keep reading more. Truth is very
The passage from faith to
enlightenment consists of shock and denial tug of war to guilt,
bewilderment, dismay, anger and finally enlightenment. Our best companion
and support in this tortuous lonesome passage is knowledge. Knowledge is
the torch of guidance that illumines our path and helps us take each step
As for going back to the mosque
leaving anti Islam material and trying to help the Muslims that you know,
I am not sure whether it is a good idea. I strongly discourage apostates
to discuss their findings with believers. This battle must be fought only
through the Internet. This is our turf. It does not matter if you donít
reach your friends, they will hear it sooner or later from someone else.
Try to reach others. Go to Internet chat rooms and share your findings
with other Muslims.
Your boyfriend is right, many
Muslims can be helped. As a matter of fact most of the Muslims are like
your boyfriend. They are honest and good people. I personally donít know
many bad people. In real life the majority (if not all) the Muslims that I
know are good people. Most of the truly bad people I met, I met them
through my site. At times I can feel the sheer force of evil in what these
people write. But these cyber Jihadis are exceptions. Most of the Muslims
are just normal people caught in a wrong path. Of course they must learn
the truth and leave Islam because they are the ones who provide moral
support to the extremists. Once the mosques are deserted the evil Muslims
wonít have an audience to spew their hatred.
Tell your boyfriend to cheer
up. He has had his rebirth. This is indeed a new dawn for him and a new
beginning. Once he overcomes his fear, which will be a cinch if he reads
the articles of this site, he will learn to smile at life and life will
smile back at him. Great days are ahead of him. I wish you two will built
your nest of happiness together, bring forth enlightened children and
illumine all those who come in touch with you with love and understanding.
My best wishes for both of you