Leaving Islam







 I Used to Hate faithfreedom.org 

By African Dan

Hi Ali  

I reverted to Islam about four months ago, probably five, and I thought I had found all the answers to my searching for the meaning of life. I thought it was all in the Qur'an. And (as I think you mentioned you did) I too bought heaps upon heaps of Islamic books, written by Muslim Scholars, and with every book I read, I became more certain that Islam was the truth. I eventually convinced myself that this was the truth, and as soon as doubts rose in my mind, (which were constantly there but were only a small quiet voice, right at the back of my mind) I snuffed them out and ignored them. On the hindsight, this was strange. This was a religion that I freely and willingly had accepted, if there's something false in it why should I be afraid of questioning it? Fear of Hell I think, it was burned into my whole being already as a new revert.  

I came across your site after the first few weeks I decided to be Muslim and had done Shahada. After reading a few pages I closed the browser and blindly blocked out what my eyes had seen, and what had been burnt on to my brain. Eventually, within about a month or so of becoming Muslim I came back to your site and a few articles were enough for me to see that I had made a big mistake. I gave up the idea of becoming Muslim and gave up on religion but still had a belief in some kind of creator. I don't accept evolution even now. But neither do I accept religion...of any kind.  

Anyway...Well things got bad at home with me and my partner and slowly I got back into Islam I think to block out the pain. I read more books, buried my head deep and once again became convinced of Islam's truth. I know I sound fickle but I had always had questions about life and Islam seemed to answer them.

My biggest pull was the "science" in the Qur'an. Of course I only relied on Islamic books to learn about this Science, and bizarrely enough, it seemed to have got to the point where I almost didn't want to know if the science in the Qur'an was wrong or not, even though the science was my biggest pull toward the book. Some of the Islamic articles are very convincing.  

Months passed I read more books and kept slowly becoming more convinced but also had the doubts. For some strange reason I didn't want to see the alternative. I didn't want to go to the freethoughtmecca and the apostatesofislam and the main most famous of all of course, the faithfreedom.org site  At this time I was separated from my girlfriend of 7 years and my child. We had had arguments but always got back together. The one thing stopping that getting back together this time was Islam. I missed her so much and loved her deeply and missed my daughter. This pain of being apart from them almost broke me down. But I thought "this is what Allah would want" and "these are my tests". I also became convinced that what made me want to investigate websites such as yours was Shaitan. So I should overcome Shaitan and ignore the anti Islamic websites.  

My fear was being convinced by your "trickery" and then ending up in hell for failing to pass the test. I also gave up a very good record deal offer for Islam as well. Something I was proud of at the time, now I see it was just plain stupid. I had been doing music for many years and the deal came around the time I converted to Islam and I thought this was a test, oh how pleased Allah will be with me for passing on such an opportunity!  

Well after much thought I decided to confront my fears. I prayed to Allah to show me that you guys were liars and to show me the truth so I can stop pretending to ignore the pull within me to investigate websites like yours. After saying my prayers for guidance, I got up off my knees sat at the monitor to begin...  

Well, I typed one of the most feared web addresses for me since becoming Muslim: faithfreedom.org. And decided to honestly read through your articles and be done with it.I spent the whole night reading through your articles. I found each verse more disturbing than the previous and each hadith equally shocking. Hadiths regarding Aisha and Mohammed or him lusting after a crawling baby expressing his desire to marry her when she grew up were truly bothersome. The tales of his wives, especially Jawariyah and her standing in prayer each time Muhammad wanted to approach her to avoid his advances really saddened me. The disturbing verses of Hate I had brushed away and ignored now stood on my face. The scientific mistakes of the Quran now became obvious. The various women slaves that Muhammad took as his wives and concubines and the convenient verses that God revealed to justify Mohammedís sex were just too much to stand.  

The verse which really got me before I had decided to return to reading your site was one which someone recently brought up on a forum regarding the verse were Allah permits men to have sex with their female slaves. I ran this one and the one about beating the wife around in my head trying to make some sense of them. I read the Qur'an and tried to convince myself it was the word of God as I was reading it, and I did a pretty good job sometimes.  

My greatest blindness was to convince myself that the Quran is scientific. I said if I find one scientific error in the Quran, then that's it for me. I will know this book is not from God. Of course once I actually looked into it...I realized no part of it is scientific. Those verses that hold true, are explained away well on your web site.  

So this is too long to post on your web site but is really a thank you to you personally for saving me from a pointless bondage I was about to get myself trapped in. This was to block out the pain of missing my girlfriend and my daughter. So thank you for that. I am now trying again with my ex and want to build a family again. My daughter is 15 months old. And thank you for saving me from what would have been a ridiculous and pointless life based on fear and not much else.  

Even though at first glance it may not seem so because of the hard approach, you actually have one of the most important websites on the internet in my humble opinion. Not all Muslims are bad people I know you stress this but it is important to state. In my four months at the Mosque they were very nice and relaxed Ė gentle people who wouldn't hurt a fly. It was only the sermon speaker who was overly aggressive, the rest of the people there were nice and probably happy living in ignorance. I am not someone who can do this comfortably, this is why I left Islam, but for these people it is fine for them. They are happy this way. You have to remember some people don't want to know the truth. I didnít at first. But most Muslims I have come across and I live in a Muslim part of town are all peaceful and happy in ignorance. And I have no problem with that.  

Regardless, thank you bro, even though I think you could be a little softer as your harsh approach will put off a lot, you have helped me so much. I think it was you who wrote in your testimonial that you can now feel free to enjoy the things you previously thought were criminal, like sleeping in the morning. Well I'm with you on that one.  

Thank you.  

African Dan , UK  





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