“Who let the dogs out?”

Sher Khan

 2005/06/21

In a remote village of the Indian Subcontinent, lived a wise man who was well versed in science, politics and history. Above all he knew English very well. In many countries, knowing English is a sign of intelligence, proof that one is a knowledgeable person. The neighboring village also had a self-proclaimed wise man but who instead was not knowledgeable at all.  

One day, the fake wise man challenged the real wise man to participate in a “Translation from English to native language” competition. The real wise man was reluctant to engage in such silliness, but nonetheless agreed after local well-wishers begged him to defend the honor of their village.  

Soon, both competitors met in a common area where hundreds of people from both villages had anxiously gathered. The real wise man politely took his seat while the fake wise man entered with a band of musicians equipped with trumpet, kettle drums, bugles and what not.  

The competition started after sunset. The real wise man had the privilege of asking the first question. “What” – he asked, “is the meaning of ‘The sun sets in murky water?’” The fake sage loudly answered in his native language.  

Then, it was the fake wise man’s turn. “Could you translate – he simply asked – “the meaning of ‘I don’t know?’” The real wise man innocently translated the meaning in his native language without blinking an eye.  

None of the villagers was educated or could understand a word of English, but a second later, trumpets blared and drums thundered, and there was a great hullabaloo, whereupon the fake wise man declared himself the winner, grabbed the trophy and bolted away from the audience.  

Not until the next day was the deception understood and did the fake wise man get a good thrashing from the people of both villages.  

***  

I read this story somewhere a long time ago. I don’t recall where or when exactly, but I do see an astonishingly precise parallel between that fake wise man and the Muslim apologists of today who often claim victory in Islamic debates. Most in fact, have this uncanny ability to declare victory before any real debate begins or any real case, either way, is presented.  

One Muslim might argue:  “You're only jealous because Muslims have the courage to fight and die for what they believe in!”  Well, a turkey is a type of bird that looks like an oversized chicken. According to reliable farm sources, it's not safe to give a bowl of water to the gobblers because they're liable to dip their heads in and die of suffocation. In other words, they lack the intelligence or instinct to pop their heads up in time. I wonder, isn't such stupidity similar to that of the suicide bombers? Well, it really doesn't matter how these (suicide bomber) turkeys want to die, the problem arises when they take others who are unwilling to die with them.  

Another Muslim claims: “You have intentionally mistranslated and misrepresented many Hadith and Quranic verses”. How can that be when everyone uses the same translations - by Yusuf Ali, Pikhtal, Shakir, Muhsin Khan or even Rashad Khalafa? All the above scholars played the same music with minimum variation. Those translators should face the charges of mistranslation and not us. If the Quran howls - “kill,” we understand that the Quran is no good because killing is bad. How does mistranslation or misrepresentation fit into the picture?  

Some Muslims allege that their faith only gets bolstered when we critique Islam. This is utterly baffling to me, how can someone's faith become stronger when it is proven through their own sacred texts that they are following a criminal? How can that increase pride instead of causing shame?  

Some claim that they are non-practicing Muslims. This can be a truthful statement and deserves appreciation. They're scared to follow the real Islam and categorically deny any involvement with its brutal teachings. The majority of Muslims are of this group and they are the ones who need to be pulled out of the Islamic swamp.   

Dr. Jackal NIKE of India is a famous Islamist who's made a name for himself by peddling Islamic trash and yakking as guest scholar in a great many lecture halls around the world. The man, fortunately unrelated to NIKE, the footwear giant of the USA , is indeed a shrewd jackal that I must admit. There he is afraid of debating with ex-Muslims on the Internet, but nonetheless celebrated by countless fans trumpeting his victories! It takes genius to transform defeat by forfeit into victory by fanfare!  

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