GíDay Ali Sina!
You are about to read a testimony by a former
Pakistani Muslimah who is now permanently living in Oz.:) I should have
written my story a long time ago but I didnít know how to compose it
because I have so many things to say. My testimony consists of two parts.
The first part is a story of my life (just to show ďadvantagesĒ of
polygamy and ďrespectĒ for women). The second part is a list of
reasons why I left Islam. But firstly I would like to comment on your
Iíd been a non-practicing Muslim for some years
but I didnít dare to think of leaving Islam. But your site made
understand that my pretty sad life was caused by Islam. You answered all
the questions I had and your articles were just to the point. I pray you
will never give up your noble work. Iíve spoken to a Jewish friend of
mine and I recommended your site to her. She was very impressed by your
work and spoke to her rabbi. They are now considering a possibility that
you are their messiah! I am not a Jew (I became an atheist) but I still
think you are the most talented and extraordinary man Iíve ever met (on
the Internet as well as in the real life). If God exists, then I am
certain you were sent by him to free the whole world.
I could praise you on thousands of pages but I
think you know all your virtues yourself so I will stop now.
PART 1. MY STORY
I was born in
in 1975. My father was an unsuccessful businessman and my mother was a
housewife (what else???). My old grandfather was living with us.
My dad was much older than my mum (he was 40 and
she was 18 when they married) and like many men he was obsessed with
having a son. When my mother got pregnant he was over the moon. But then
she gave birth to me (a female) and his happiness about motherís
pregnancy changed into fury. My mum had to beg forgiveness for having a
baby girl but he didnít want to hear anything. His love for a young
woman (my mum) disappeared in a moment.
My father didnít even notice me and as I grew
older it began to really hurt me. But it was not all. My mum came to the
realization that I had caused all her troubles. If I were a boy her life
would be different. It is true but I was not the one to blame for her bad
life. Unfortunately she didnít understand that and she was always cold
The only human being that loved me was my
grandfather. He was a bit of a sage and tried his best to be above
quarrels, rows and even fights in our family. He loved me very much. It is
so pleasant to sit down and recall such a good and reasonable man. As a
child I didnít understand why everyone didnít love me. When I was 15
he told me about the events that Iíve just described. That was too much
for me but my grandfather attempted to alleviate my pain.
But I have to come back to my story. My father
didnít give up and took the second wife hoping she would give birth to a
boy. My motherís coldness towards me grew steadily. She couldnít stand
me. She literally hated me.
Dear Ali Sina, can you imagine that some parents
can hate their children? There are some psychopaths in the West that hate
their children but they have mental problems. In Islamic countries such
people are not mad but normal. I do not say that my family was usual but
it was not rare. My father was sure his attitude was justified. And he was
right! The court refused to grant a divorce to my mother!
Polygamy that is praised by Islamic scholars was
the cause for my mumís suicide (I will write about it later). Some men
in the West do have lovers. (BTW some women in the West have lovers as
well!) But polygamy and adultery are two different things, arenít they?
Thus my life was hard but I refused to give up. I
was living and dreaming of immigration to a country where no one knew me.
When I was ten years old fatherís second wife
gave birth to a boy. My father was so happy and he thanked his wife for
bringing so much joy to his heart. My mother couldnít survive it and
committed a suicide. To be honest I understand her.
I plunged into a serious depression. My father
didnít love me at all. Do I have to say that my stepmother not only
hated me but also plotted against me?
When I was 20 my father decided to get rid of me
and sent me to
to receive a higher education. It was very expensive but his desire to
send me somewhere far away from
was so strong that he agreed to pay. It was the only good deed my father
did for me. I was keen on the West since childhood and father knew it. I
wonder if he really wanted to do something good for me!
I came to
and had to establish my life here. So I took off my hijab because I would
have never established myself in this country if I had been veiled. I
thought that Allah would forgive me and one day I would become a pious
But I am no longer a Muslim!
PART 2. REASONS WHY I LEFT ISLAM
childhood memories were so different from those of western people. I am
not speaking about my mother or my father but about things like tales and
toys. Western children listen to their parents telling fairy tales about
knights and kings but I listened about Hell fire and what would happen to
me if I was not a faithful Muslimah. I had some toys but they were so
boring and so Islamic.
- There is too much violence in the Quran. Iíve
read nearly a half of the New Testament and havenít found any violence
so far. Jesus Christ commands his followers to love neighbors, enemies and
literally all people. There are some Christians who abuse people and
commit crimes but they are not Christians because the Bible doesnít
justify such crimes. Of course there are some peaceful Muslims too but
they are not Muslims because the Quran promotes violence. I have a lot of
Christian friends and they all are great people. Even though I told them I
was a Muslim they didnít want to kill them me because I was an infidel
to them. Christians donít kill apostates but Muslims do kill apostates
just as the Quran commands them to. There are many
Christians who became Buddhists but I have never
heard of any priests who killed them. And these people donít hide their
identity like we have to.
-Mohammed was an awful man as your articles show.
I totally agree with you but why do you think so many people follow him. I
suspect it is a very comfortable religion for some.
-Islam doesnít respect women. My life is a
great example but I didnít think that Islam was the cause for it. Your
articles explained everything to me.
-Most terrorists are Muslims. It is not a
coincidence and Islam is a source of their hatred and madness.
Today I am absolutely free to follow whatever I
want. I decided to become an atheist but I am studying Buddhism now so
probably I will embrace this true religion of peace. My boyfriend is a
Muslim and he decided to leave Islam too. His faith was less strong than
mine and it was much easier for him to abandon Islam. You set free two
I hope my story was not really boring and you
enjoyed reading it. Your site is the pearl of intelligence and freedom.