The awakening of Saira
Dear Ali Sina,
Last week, I had never heard of
you and God am I pleased that I found your website. It all started
when the poor Abdul Rahman was nearly sentenced to death because he used
his free will.
I was born a Muslim but was one
of those who found Islam by herself. I've always practised but I
only started to read the Quran in depth recently to understand it better.
Of course, soon, I saw I was always worshipping a God that punishes and
condemns so easily.
Most of my good friends are
Christians and I envied them so much for the special relationship they had
with their loving God. I tried praying to 'another' God instead.
It didn't work. It was only last week that I could no longer worship
'that' God. Reading all your articles helped me go ahead with my
decision. All you say makes so much sense and one would have to be
blind to overlook this.
I'm in such awe, I thought I
was going crazy. Though I feel so much better, I can't help but
feeling so alone. Belonging to a Faith makes you feel like you're
part of something bigger. So, I feel like I've lost my
bearings. Though I pray now using those nice prayers of Psalms, I
don't know what to do.
Do you mind me asking what
Faith group you belong to now and how to go about making that decision?
Before I end, I have to thank
you for bringing me out of darkness. What you're doing is so great
and I admire the fact that even death threats won't stop you!
I hope you have time to give me
some words of wisdom. Youíve been through this before so you know
how this feels.
I was also wondering if you can
keep my address and name anonymous...
Dear Saira (name altered)
I am glad you saw the truth in such a short time. It
took me much longer. Of course, back then there were no sites like Faith
Freedom. Actually the Internet was at its infancy and few had it.
I do not have a religion and will not choose one
ever. What I found is that truth is everywhere. There is no need to follow
anyone else to find the truth. Itís right where you are. Itís within
you. Truth is a pathless land.
But Psalms contains beautiful prayers that can bring
tears to your eyes. I used to read Psalms and they gave me inner peace.
Gradually of course, my thoughts changed and I no more believe in asking
for help from an external source. I still believe in God but it is not the
same God taught by religions. It is not a God that needs my prayers. It
does not listen or answer to prayers. God is not aware of you and me. It
is awareness itself. It is not a loving god; itís Love itself. It is not
knowing; itís knowledge itself. God is not a being with atributes. It is
the principle underlying all things. You feel God in every breath you take
in and in every heart beat.
However, you should follow your own intellect. If you
find Psalms give you peace, read them. If the belief in God gives you
strength, believe in him. Christianity, although a myth, is essentially a
religion of peace and love. I know the expression of ďreligion of
peaceĒ makes us cringe, but this one is for real. There have been bad
Christians who have done terrible things, but donít blame Christianity
for that. There are also good Muslims, but you should not credit Islam for
them. All religions are essentially good, Islam is essentially evil. Only
a fool would put Islam in the same category of other religions. You can
find beauty in all religions, except in Islam. Philosophically, I find
Buddhism much more logical than all other religions. Zoroastrianism also
has very good teachings. Neither Buddha, nor Zoroaster claimed to be
prophets. Their teachings were somewhat corrupted by their
Perhaps you would want to pick and choose what you
think is best from all religions and philosophies. That would be the
wisest thing to do. Then again when you do that, you'd be a freethinker
and not a follower. This is what I do. I listen carefully and from each
garden I pick a flower. Anyone can be my teacher, even a child.
If you want to follow a religion, my advice is, make
it personal. Make sure your religion is between you and your God alone. If
you need a community, I think the best is
. There you can have a community and listen to spiritual and uplifting
teachings and yet keep your own personal religion.
Join the forum of FFI. There youíll meet many
people who have walked down this path and can be of great help to you. An
online community can be just as supportive and uplifting as a real one.
Good luck and wish you the best.