I started thinking, very deeply. I searched the Qur’an and found that everyone’s destiny had already been decided by God. God had already determined about who will be in Hell and who will be in Paradise! So, logically, there is no need for humans to pray. When I put this question to my devoutly religious friends, they became angry. They asked me how I could know in advance whether I should go to Hell or to Paradise. I told them that since our destiny has already been decided by God, praying or not praying would not really make any difference.  

They thought I was crazy since I have developed doubt about Allah and the Qur’an.  

This was my start of hating Islam. But I was helpless. In the society in which I live I was not able to do anything openly which goes against Islam.  

In 1999, my mother fell sick and eventually she died. This was a turning point in my life. I thought: we, the Muslims, are not really the best in the world. Just like any other human being, we too get ill and die, after all. I also came to the conclusion that if we worked hard we should be successful, if we did not, we are bound to fail. There is no such thing as ‘Allah’s will’. There is nothing so special for the Muslims.  

When I look around the Islamic world, all I find are utter injustice, unabated discrimination against women and kafirs and blatant abuse and violation of human rights, and not to talk of the absolute political corruption in all Islamic countries. In fact, there is nothing good in our Islamic world to talk about. Most of the Islamic world is in deep trouble, whereas there is relative, peace, prosperity and freedom in most non-Islamic countries.  

I asked myself, “What is the reason for this?” The only plausible answer to me was Islam. I am now quite certain that Islam is a stupid and wrong religion.  

Although my hatred of Islam increased, I was unable to leave it. I could not still bring myself to the reality that Islam could be that bad. I thought it might be that the problem was with the people and not the religion.  

But on September 11, 2001, I saw the real face of Islam. I saw the happiness on the faces of our people because so many infidels were slaughtered so easily. I was shocked at the gloating of our people for killing innocent kafirs. I saw many people started thanking Allah for this massacre. Our Islamic people said that Allah gave us our wish, and that this was the beginning of the destruction of kafir countries.  

To me, this was sheer inhumanity.  

Then, the Imam implored Allah to help the Taliban against the US army. I was angry. I stopped praying.  

In 2004, I met my Pakistani manager, who, I believe was anti-Islam. He made me feel human being again. He let me believe that I was, after all, not a crazy person. I stopped visiting the mosque, quit praying and abandoned Ramadan fasting. Last Ramadan I did not observe a single fast.  

Now I feel so happy and relieved. Without any guilt or fear, I now can watch movies and listen to music. I feel I am a human being and I am free to do whatever I like.  

I shall, from now on, tell as much as I can the truth about this evil religion of Islam.  

Thanks to this website, I no longer feel lonely. I know now that I am not wrong.

Thanks & regards; 

khaled

Saudi Arabia

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