Why I chose a normal life
Well, I think that Iím ready to write my testimony.
I grew up in Russia in Dagestan which is nearby Chechnya. However my parents were Russian by nationality. Living next to Muslims made my ancestors convert to Islam a long time ago.
But when I was a small girl there was no Russian Federation. I was born in the USSR. It was an awful country to say the least but there was something I liked about it. Communists were so afraid to lose their power that they were fighting against all religions. Yes, maybe it wasnít absolutely right because people still needed something in their souls. But anyway due to communists I grew in a moderate Muslim family.
Of course, people around us were practicing their religion but they couldnít do it openly and so, for example, we were not forced to wear hijab. My mum even worked as a driver (!).
But then the USSR went to pieces. And then my sufferings began. I wonít tell you about the war. It was not very important to me as I was only ten years old. But there was something that affected my life.
Firstly, I was expelled from my school. ďBeing a good mother doesnít require educationĒ, Imam said.
Secondly, I was forced to wear hijab all the time. Even that I had some problems with breathing, it didnít matter. I was told to pray to Allah to save my life.
Thirdly, I couldnít use buses, trains and so on. I could only go out with my father.
And finally, my mother wasnít allowed to work. And we plunged into poverty.
Try to understand me, it wasnít the secular law. We could bring legal proceeding against these criminals. But we could also be killed by our own neighbors for not obeying. And I WANTED TO LIVE, no matter how awful my life was.
At home we always discussed Islam. We read Koran and then compared it with reality. We were stunned. But not by reality. We were stunned because this awful life was required by Koran and Mohammed. It wasnít terrorism. It was real Islam.
We made up our minds to escape as soon as possible. We saved all our money for a one-way ticket. And while doing it, I went to mosque; was beaten by Muslim boys because my name wasnít Arab. I was beaten by Imams because I asked too many questions. I was beaten all the time.
After a few years, an awful event happened. My grandfather converted to Christianity openly and was killed near church. I didnít know why he converted so openly; after all he understood that he would certainly be killed. But when he was at home writhing in pain, he confessed that he had cancer and knew that his death was somewhere nearby. He said he didnít want to die a Muslim. It would be too shameful for him. I hope now heís in Heaven or if Heaven doesnít exist then I hope heís now safe and happy.
After the death of grandfather we sold everything and ran away to Norway (I was studying Norwegian since childhood). Here we all converted to Christianity. I graduated from University of Oslo. Iím now having some practice. I will be a human rights lawyer. My boyfriend is a feminist activist and a playwright. My mum has her own business and my dad is a top manager.
Why I converted to Christianity? Well, I do believe in God however Iím not a
practicing Christian. We became Christians because we were afraid to be caught by Muslims. You canít even imagine how Muslims are aware of other Muslims arriving in Norway. We wanted to have nothing to do with these fu**ing bast**ds. (Sorry)
Why did I write it here? Because my life shows why I left Islam. And when some fools say that Islam is a peaceful religion Iím disgusted and want to cry. I hope that more and more people will understand the truth about Islam.
And to those poor people who are still Muslims but want to become normal humans and lead a normal life and to those who are married to Muslims I want to say that Iíve survived because I wanted to live. I knew that life is one; if you die you will never have another one. I wanted to commit suicide. But then I thought to myself, ďWhy?Ē Because of Muslims? But life for them is nothing. Itís just a buffer. They donít appreciate it.
If you want to live, you have to believe in something. I believed in God. But I didnít believe in Allah or Jesus Christ. I believed in divine justice if you want. You can believe in nature, in life, in your mind and brains. And you will pull through.
Why I chose a normal life?
It's simple. All people want to lead a normal life. But I know what abnormal life looks like. And for me choosing normal life was a well-considered
decision. I chose normal life when I left Islam.
And in the end I wanted to thank Ali Sina and other wonderful people who work on this site. Your work will never be forgotten.