of Sex In Islam
we talk about the subjects Quran narrated the most, certainly sex is
one of them. I would like to explain my point of view and of course
would appreciate comments from people all around. In this exercise,
may be I am able to get answers or explanation of my point of view. I
shall be grateful if somebody (Muslim) proves me wrong and makes me
understand the true message/lesson of the following
teachings/principles relating to sex. But if the Muslims don’t
answer me, it’s my request to them to ponder with a neutral and
Wives At A Time
First of all, I
discuss the subject of “permission for having four wives”.
I fail to find out any positive aspect of this thing. Being a
dweller of the same planet earth where Islam came into being 1400
years ago, I do know a little bit about human instincts, nature,
I claim that a
husband, does not matter what country or continent he comes from,
can never think or bear his wife’s sexual relations with some
one else. It happens because of the possessive instinct/behavior of
the human beings which equally exists in both the genders. Therefore,
my question is, that how can a woman think or bear her husband’s
sexual relations with some one else?
In addition, if we
talk about sexual desire of the human beings, both the sexes are even.
Just imagine the situation that a man having four wives fulfills his
sexual desire of four times with four wives. How can each of the four
wives satisfy their sexual desire of four times? Does it not look
unnatural, illogical and discriminatory and violation of women’s
It is a fact that sex
is one of the primary instincts of human beings (male, female). It has
been given so much importance but all with irrationality. I think it
objectionable for two reasons. One—A large number of verses revealed
wrongfully (ignoring women’s rights) in favor of sexual lust of male
Muslims? Whereas, lot of
other important matters including religious tolerance, peace,
equality, justice etc. are discussed with less or little emphasis.
Two—there are millions of couples all over the world who married and
spent whole life with each other. It is not understandable that why
Muslim shave been permitted to marry as many as four women
simultaneously and can keep countless maids with rightful permission
to have sexual intercourse.
What I understand there are two main reasons behind the
permission to have four wives and countless female captives (maids) in
obviously, for the sexual lust of men and to attract more and more
people (men) to accept Islam. I would say that this was a kind of
bribe offered to the men of a society which was male dominated.
To produce more and more children to maximize the strength of Muslims
in a short span of time.
one can deny that sex is one of the primary instincts and I think this
can be done with just one wife, which is more feasible, logical,
economical and based on equality. As I have stated above there are
millions of couples around the world living happily and satisfactorily
with regard to sex.
Although, in this way, the Muslims have been able to increase
themselves in numbers, yet they failed to establish themselves as good
human beings and beneficial to others. Muslims could not visualize the
bad impact of this rapid birth rate. Today, most of the problems like,
social, health, education etc. are because of the growing population.
Sexual Desire of a Prophet
being a prophet should have been a role model for the Muslims in all
respect including sex. But it is astonishing that he could not control
his sexual desire and married to nine women, many more than a common
Muslim. He was also allowed to keep countless maids. See the following
Quranic verse Muhammad told his followers to justify his marriages and
keeping of maid captives.
Prophet! We have made lawful to you the wives to whom you have given
their dowers; and those ladies whom your right hands possess (from the
prisoners of war) whom Allah has assigned to you; and the daughters of
your paternal uncles and aunts, and the daughters of your maternal
uncles and aunts, who have migrated with you; and the believing woman
who gave herself to the Prophet if the Prophet desires to marry her
– this permission is only for you and not for the other believers;
we know what restrictions We have imposed on the other believers
concerning their wives and those whom their right hands possess. We
have granted you this privilege as an exception so that no blame may
be attached to you. Allah is Forgiving, Merciful”. (Quran
with 9-Year Old Aisha
his marriage with Aisha seems to be very funny when he was 53 and she
used to play with the dolls in the presence of the Prophet, and my
girl friends also used to play with me. When Allah's Apostle used to
enter (my dwelling place) they used to hide themselves, but the
Prophet would call them to join and play with me”. (The playing with
the dolls and similar images is forbidden, but it was allowed for 'Aisha
at that time, as she was a little girl, not yet reached the age of
Sahih Bukhari (5.234)
Prophet engaged me when I was a girl of six (years). We went to
and stayed at the home of
Bani-al-Harith bin Khazraj. Then I got ill and my hair fell down.
Later on my hair grew (again) and my mother, Um Ruman, came to me
while I was playing in a swing with some of my girl friends. She
called me, and I went to her, not knowing what she wanted to do to me.
She caught me by the hand and made me stand at the door of the house.
I was breathless then, and when my breathing became all right, she
took some water and rubbed my face and head with it. Then she took me
into the house. There in the house I saw some Ansari women who said,
"Best wishes and Allah's Blessing and a good luck." Then she
entrusted me to them and they prepared me (for the marriage).
Unexpectedly Allah's Apostle came to me in the forenoon and my mother
handed me over to him, and at that time I was a girl of nine years of
Apostle said to me, "You were shown to me twice (in my dream)
before I married you. I saw an angel carrying you in a silken piece of
cloth, and I said to him, 'Uncover (her),' and behold, it was you. I
said (to myself), 'If this is from Allah, then it must happen.' Then
you were shown to me, the angel carrying you in a silken piece of
cloth, and I said (to him), 'Uncover (her), and behold, it was you. I
said (to myself), 'If this is from Allah, then it must happen.”
this not something shameful for Muslims to narrate that their Prophet
married a 9 year old little girl when he was 53 years of age? Is there
any logic to marry a minor? Can Muslims give just one example that any
of them married his 9 years old daughter to a man of fifty plus. Is it
medically right to marry a minor girl, before she reaches the age of
puberty? It is absolutely immoral, uncivilized and unethical.
marriage with his adopted son’s wife
Ibn Harith was
Muhammad’s adopted son. Zaid married with Zainab Bint Jahsh. Zainab
was a very pretty woman. Muhammad could not refrain from his desire to
marry her. Zaid, somehow or the other came to know the intention of
Muhammad and divorced Zainab. After he divorced her, Muhammad told his
followers about the revealation of the following verse to justfy his
unethical, immoral and an ashamed action of marrying his adopted
Prophet, remember when you said to the one (Zaid, Prophet’s adopted
son) whom Allah as well as you had favored: “Keep your wife in
wedlock and fear Allah”. You sought to hide in your heart what Allah
intended to reveal; you were afraid of the people whereas it would
have been more appropriate to fear Allah. So when Zaid divorced his
wife, we gave her to you in marriage, so that there remains no
hindrance for the believers to wed the wives of their adopted sons if
they divorced them. And Allah’s Command had to be carried out.”
my opinion no one can even think of such an action when one is already
enjoying company of more than one wife. Firstly,
to justify his marriage Muhammad brought the following sura to declare
the status of adopted son:
did not make your adopted son as your own sons. To declare them so is
your empty claim. God’s word is righteous and constitutes true
this episode gives a message to the adopted sons all over the world
not to trust their fathers with regard to their wives. Is this not a
matter for the Muslims to be ashamed of?
going through the above paragraphs, at least I am unable to comprehend
the positive message of Muhammad’s nine marriages, his keeping of
countless maids, marriage with a 9-year old minor girl and marriage
with his adopted son’s wife. It should have been a matter of proud
for the Muslims if Islamic history was full of stories of Muhammad’s
patience, self-control and sexual disinterest.
Muslims, each and every word of Quran is a lesson to follow. I ask the
Muslims do they still need the following suras and many more alike to
follow, which describe/justify/forbid:
marriage with his adopted son’s wife. (Quran 33:37)
cannot marry Muhammad’s wives (Quran 33:53).
to Muhammad to marry as many as women as he can (Quran 33:50)
enter in to the house of Prophet without his permission (Quran 33:53)
According to Muslims
Quran was revealed for the guidance of the people of Muhammad’s time
and for the people to come hundreds of thousands of years later.
Revelation of the above said suras has no impact in today’s
life because there is no Muhammad, his adopted son and his wife and
Muhammad widows. There are no more wives of Muhammad. Muhammad is not
there to marry as many as women as he can. What I understand is that
these are the suras which do not have anything to guide the people of
present time. These suras ware revealed for that specific time.
Therefore, if Muslims claim that Quran, as a whole, has been a source
of guidance for them, I believe, is wrong.