A Confidential Letter

Honorable Kafir Président de la République Française, Jacques Chirac, aka La Girouette – the weathervane,

If you are confused by the current Islamic operation and the great inferno, I must say a few words that will give you an insight of the Muslim youths of France. What we are doing right now may surprise many Westerners, but you will have to understand that we are merely following the guidelines of Islam.

Yes, we are oppressed; so are Muslims of Palestine, Kashmir , Chechnya , China , Russia , India , Singapore , Australia and many other countries. You see, our definition of oppression is a little different from yours. Whenever a Muslim is living in a Kafir country and ruled by a Kafir, he/she immediately feels oppressed. Until a Muslim sovereign rules us, Muslims have every right to revolt.

Western media, run by Jewish entrepreneurs are crying “foul” when we burned a handicapped woman. What’s wrong in killing a few Kafirs here and there when Jihad is in progress? Our holy prophet did many times; what is wrong if we do the same? He authorized the killing of Asma B. Marwan because she dared to taunt Islam. A sword was pierced through her chest while her baby was still suckling the breast (Kitab al-Tabaqat al-Kabir). The holy prophet even made a humorous comment in this regard. He said, “Two goats will butt together about her.” When you banned wearing the hijab, it became obvious that you were humiliating our religion. Now you have to face the consequence.

Some people are talking about our unemployment and planning to find jobs for us. What a bunch of fools! Why do we have to work? Our holy prophet never worked; he loved hunting and it was his only profession. Oh! You misunderstood again! I am not talking about deer hunting. Our prophet used to attack merchant caravans to please Allah and Allah was always kind enough to allow accepting precious goods out of these raids. Unfortunately, we cannot practice this noble profession anymore because of your stupid law and order. So, we are fully dependent on welfare money. Now don’t ask us to be grateful to your country; gratefulness is not an option in Islam. We only thank Allah for whatever we get. You Kafirs are merely a means to fulfill Allah’s wish.

Realistically, we really don’t have time to work anyway. We wake up early in the morning to offer morning prayer. There is some free time in the morning but you guys don’t start your office hours early. We can work for 2-3 hours in the morning, then it is time for afternoon prayer. Of course, we have to eat and take a short nap because we have to get up early in the morning. In the evening we have to pray again, and after dinner there is another session of prayer. We go to bed early and do some very productive work with our wives, fulfilling the wish of the prophet: ‘Muslims will outnumber all other religions’. It reminds me of another oppression; we cannot have more than one wife, whereas we have a religious obligation to keep up to four wives. So, we can only work a few hours a day for 11 months a year–it’s impossible to work in the month of fasting, or Ramadan.

Naturally, we make more money from welfare than from working. We don’t have enough education to provide nice jobs either. Some Jewish media are complaining about integrating with the mainstream. How naive these people are! How could we go to public school where all kinds of un-Islamic actions are going on? They don’t teach the Quran, the book of miracles. We cannot amalgamate and make friends with Kafir French people – this is clearly written in the Quran, the grandmother of all books. Too much mixing may lead to interracial marriage. How can our sisters marry unbelievers if they don’t change their religion to Islam?

This world is nothing but a mirage; our final destination is heaven and that is where we will live the rest of our lives. The only obligation we have is spreading Islam and making sure we become the majority in this country when democracy will play in our favor. We are anxiously waiting for those golden days when we will make our own Caliph (Ruler) and throw the so-called civilization in the garbage, Inshallah (God willing).

Yet, why are we creating all this destruction? There are several reasons behind this project.

1. It is kind of a habit or tradition of Islam. The holy prophet killed and tortured many people to establish Islam and his successors have an obligation to follow the suit.
2. We need to keep our spirit high until this country becomes Islamic. The other branches of Islam, i.e., the moderate and intellectual Muslims, will continue preaching a peaceful Islam. However, they will need us when a full-blown Islam takes place.
3. At the moment, we are on a mission to burn all cars of this country. We like to get rid of all cars and buses, which is a sign of stinky civilization, and replace them with camels and donkeys. It’s the first step to introduce pure Islam.
4. We will also benefit in the short run. Many sympathizers will understand our pain and they will solicit to increase our welfare money.
5. Maybe we will be moved from our ghetto to a Château.

Your Interior Minister Nicolas Sarkozy called us ‘scum’, which did not bother us at all. But we did find it very offensive when he tried to reform Islam. He tried to insert modern concepts in Islamic teachings and change the impulse of real Islam. What a moron! How could a Kafir dare to reform Islam? Can he change the Quran, the most holy book of mankind, from which we received the inspiration to kill Kafirs? At best, he could create another branch of Islam, perhaps a new brand of Islam that will be called ‘Napoleon Islam’. Within the last 1400 years, there have been several attempts to change Islam and many sects were created, such as:  

Kharijitis – (replica of the prophet Muhammad pbuh, motto-kill all unbelievers),

Mu’tazilah – (the so-called “Free-Thinkers”),

Wahabis – (modern real Muslims),

Sufis – (wish-washy Muslims who helped spread Islam in India , Indonesia and Malaysia ),

Hashshashin or Assassins – (expert in assassinating Christians at the time of the Crusades),

Baha’ism – (followers of Baha’ U’llah”–“Mirza Husayn Ali”), they desire to unite mankind in one religion. Fools indeed!),

Ismailies – (a branch of Shiite Islam),

Ahmedia – (soft-hearted Muslims, often regarded as non-Muslims by other sects).

There are many other sects of Islam that were short lived. In India , Mughal emperor Akbar launched a new religion Din-E-Ilahi, another version of Islam, which did not last.

So far, Muslims belong to two major groups: Sunni and Shiite. A whopping 85% of Muslims are Sunni and they will rule the world eventually. Just to refresh your memory, be it known that Osama Bin Laden and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi are two famous Muslim brothers who belong to the Sunni sect. Did you ever wonder why other Muslims never took the initiative to find these holy guys? The answer is very simple – no matter how moderate Muslims sing about a peaceful religion, they all are committed to save the virginity of Islam, which is the core of Islam and practiced by Mullahs. Even though we love to fight and kill other sects of Muslims, we are united under the Islamic flag if we smell Kafirs.

Why am I giving out all this confidential information, you may ask? Well, there is a reason for it. We, the Muslims, like to make the whole situation easy for both of us.

If you embrace Islam, all problems will be solved. Mullah Charles, I mean Prince Charles of England understands the advantages of being a Muslim and he is doing his best to preach Islam. Had he been converted to Islam, he could have kept his first wife Diana and his second wife Camellia, both at the same time. He could have two more wives as a bonus and no one would raise an eyebrow. In his recent visit to America , he could have taken all four wives, making Americans jealous.

However, Mr. President, it is a little different in your case. Islamic countries have no military strength since the power of the sword has been abolished. We have a dream to conquer the world but our inefficiency in technical know-how is an obstacle. France , which will be named ‘Faristan’ after you embrace Islam, will have enough power to invade other countries. Like our holy prophet, all you have to do is call them to become Muslims and if they don’t comply, nuke them. You will have no problem killing innocent people and you will never suffer from guilt. People with so-called human rights may scream like crazy but it never will bother your conscience. This is the beauty of Islam; a real Muslim is never ashamed of killing Kafirs and enjoys heavenly pleasure in slitting their throats.

Being a supporter of communism in your youth, you will enjoy Islam very much. Islam proudly retains many qualities of communism. So-called democracy, freedom and human rights are cheap talk that has no place in Islam and communism. Look at Denmark . The largest newspaper of the country, Jyllands-Posten, had the courage to make cartoons of our holy prophet. The Copenhagen Imam Raeed Hlayhel rightly declared, “I will not tolerate this. If this is democracy, we disagree with democracy.”

Patience and tolerance are two factors of democracy. These virtues are also a form of kindness. What you don’t know is that kindness is a sign of weakness. You guys don’t have the guts to ban the Quran or Islam as a whole. The Quraish people did not have the courage to wipe out Islam at its birth. Eventually, the prophet wiped them out. The same thing will happen to you as well. One day we will outnumber the Kafirs and become the ruler through democracy; your very own democracy that you nurture so lovingly will work like a boomerang. Then we will establish Caliphat and Sharia law.

Interestingly, when Islam is criticized, your own people start bashing the critic. The Swedish prime minister scolded your interior minister, Nicolas Sarkozy, for being confrontational with Muslims. Isn’t that a nice gesture? All we need to do is color the problem with racism and discrimination; the rest would be taken care of by your own people.

You had a very good connection with the Islamic world. Your friendship with the honorable Saddam Hussein helped French oil companies gain a 23% share of Iraqi oil. I have no doubt brother Saddam Hussein still remembers your generosity for selling a nuclear reactor called Osirak.

If you embrace Islam, you will see the truth, and the power of Islam. Who knows, you may want to join us in burning some cars and school buses, too.

May Allah change your heart!

An angry Muslim youth,

Mohammad Khalid bin Walid