Questions Never Answered
I am a student in a reputed
. I havenít much knowledge as you
people have, but in my small age I get the right path. This is the credit I
have. I hope that you will find my testimony different than other ex-Muslims
because I left Islam not due to the studies against Islam but I left it in
search of right sect of Islam.
I was born in mid religious family in
. I joined the "Berailvi" sect because of my maternal uncle. I joined
the movement "Dawat Islami" which spread the Berailvi sect
of Islam. I used to listen naats, mankabat, salat tu
waslam...... I was thinking that I am at the right path.
I used to wear "imama sharif" (turban)
of green color, which was the cause of amusement between my friends.
But I bore all the difficulties
because I was thinking to have found the right path. Then
as my age increased to 15 years, my heart started diverting from the Berailvi
school of thought. I entered in the college for my fsc here. I got a friend (Aslam)who
was an ex-Belaivi. He was "ahle hadith" converted from Berailvi sect. I
was in a hostel there. We were 3 boys in the room, I
, Aslam and ali (who was a shia).
All of other friends of mine use to
play, gossips etc, but we discussed about the right path. Aslam was trying to
convince me about ahle hadith sect and his discussion was effecting me. Ali was
not interfering in our matter. Aslam gave me small book, which gave all the
answers of controversial questions. I was convinced by him because there are
many pagan ideologies in Berailve sect. He told me that our faith depends on
Quran and sahih hadith (saha sita). So I accepted the Ahle Hadith sect and
started practicing it.
I read many journals and weekly
magazines of Jamat u Dawa. In the same period I started checking the Shias. At
that time there was an anti-shia organization "Sipah Sahaba" who was
spreading anti Shia literature everywhere. I also got some books against Shias. I
read that thoroughly while my friends were busy in playing games and gossiped.
After studying the anti Shia literature, I was the worst enemy of Shias. I
started debating with my Shia roommate he told me about the Shia site www.answering-ansar.org
I surfed that site and got many
realities about the companions of Prophet. I was shocked to learn that
1) Omer burnt house of Fatima
2) story of garden of "Fidak"
3) about the "hadith e Kirtas"
4) wars between Ayesha and Ali
5)and many other realities about the imams of Shias
in the same site I got some errors in the Bukhari and
muslin which I was thinking were errorless. I was shocked about that ayats
usually narrated by Ayesha. At the
same time I came to know that Ayesha was 9 years old when she married the
Prophet. At that time I was double minded. My brain was not working anymore. I
studied more about all these sects but the problems were not being solved. I
started saying that I am neither Shia nor Sunni. I am only a Muslim. But my mind
wasnít satisfied ......
Then I got a lecture of Dr. Zakir Naik. That gave me new
life .I was very impressed of his memory. I thought that he is "mujadid"
(a holy man who came after centuries to renew Islam).
I got many CDs, of him listened to him and admired him. I was his fan at
I got bearded, started practicing
Islam with a new zeal. I was satisfying my mind by learning the miracles of
Quran. My favorite topic was "Quran
and science." At that time I
started reding the Quran with Urdu translation. While reading, I was finding the
miracles in the Quran. I found many miracles (actually I assumed them as
In the mean time, I got admission in a reputed
. At that time my faith in Islam was dependent of Dr. Zakir Naik.
In this university I got a friend who was also my
roommate. He was an atheist and I was a fundamentalist "mullah". Same
story repeated again. I started debating with him. But he never showed that he
was atheist. He started convincing me. His discussion was effecting me slowly. At
the same time I searched the word "Ali Sena" (which is actually the name
of my). I got information about FFI and wikiislam ... I was shocked. I
tried to open it but I was blocked in
. I used the proxy changing website www.skurfit.com
to access the site.
And then my life changed....................
FFI gave me answers to all the questions. When
I told my atheist roommate about this site he opened his heart about the
realities of Islam. He told me about his story of guidance, which is about same
as mine. I will ask him to join the forum and write his testimony. After
that I installed "the Nobel Quran" and "the Hadith" software
in my pc. I confirmed many references of Ali Sina.
Meanwhile I started writing a book, "Questions Never Answered".
I wrote 8 pages, but when I read FFI I felt ashamed of my little knowledge. But
though I have little knowledge I know that I have reached that right path of
love and peace.
The "mullahs" around me
are very angry with me because I shaved my beard
after leaving Islam. I was an active
participant in there gatherings but now I never go to mosque. This
is very surprising for my friends. They canít digest my wearing of jeans and
leaving the Islamic dress, shalwar kamiz. After
leaving Islam I was very energetic I did a debate with my old friend in a close
room with the promise that he would never tell these things outside. He was
convinced but said "la hola wala kowata......" and left me.
It is very difficult for me to act
as a Muslim. It is the most hated thing to do. But I am doing all these rubbish.