I am not good at dancing. However, sometimes I do attempt to amuse myself with this complicated body act. As it happened during the last New Year’s Eve, after drinking a few glasses of special beverage that Allah promised in the heaven, I was throwing my hands and legs in all directions. Later, the host who arranged the party in his house confessed he had to move some of his collection of rare artifacts that were dangerously close to my feet. I barely missed them. I really did not intend to dance that night but it was the provocative song that no one could resist. You should listen to this song as soon as possible and then you would realize what I am talking about. Here’s a part of the lyrics of the song (Mambo number 5!, Artist-Lou Bega):
“Jump up and down go and move it all around
Shake your head to the sound
Put your hands on the ground
Take one step left and one step right
One to the front and one to the side”…
So far so good, I was doing fairly well up to this point without breaking any valuable items. My other friends were also dancing in an articulate fashion along with their wives. However, my mind took an abrupt turn with the next part of the song.
“A little bit of Monica in my life
a little bit of Erica by my side
a little bit of Rita is all I need
a little bit of Tina is what I see”…
By all means, I am not a playboy and I should not have dared to be one when my wife was dancing with me. There was a likelihood of my manhood being chopped. Amid the clamor of music, my imagination took a defiant flight thinking of Mohammed, the guardian of Islam, singing the song somewhat differently.
“A little bit of Khadijain my life
a little bit of Zainab by my side
a little bit of Safyia is all I need
a little bit of Moyomuna is what I see
a little bit of Sawda in the sun
a little bit of Hafsah all night long
a little bit of Ayesha here I am
a little bit of you makes me your man.”…
It’s a fact that Mohammed had almost two dozen wives and a few concubines as a bonus. His number of wives varies from 11 to 23, depending on different Islamic scriptures. There is no record of Mohammed dancing with his wives but who knows what he did in his barrack. After all, he was a cunning politician and politicians have the record of doing things privately that is opposite to what they preach.
I admit it was a fantasy; Mohammed could not have danced or sung any song. ‘Be merry’ is a forbidden word in Islam. Quite the opposite, Muslims are designed to ‘Be gloomy’ because of the scare of hell, the scare of Allah’s fire and the scare of the judgment day. Muslims are not permitted to dance, sing or draw a picture of any living things. Ironically, Muslims love ‘Bollywood’ movies that are full of dancing, and the Middle East is a hot market for these Indian movies. India has a beautiful cultural heritage, full of dance and music, which melodiously shifted into the movies. It’s true, some of the movies go overboard with dancing, and there are more dances than dialogue. Nonetheless, Sheikhs and pious Muslims watch these movies with their glittery eyes but restrain themselves from dancing.
The recent best selling thriller The Da Vinci Code, written by Dan Brown, has sold over 40 million copies worldwide and has created uproar in the churches. According to the author, Jesus married Mary Magdalene and had children. It may not have caused the commotion if the theory was limited to fiction. Apparently, the idea of Jesus being married has been floating around for a while despite churches’ objection and calling it blasphemous. (And, of course, no church was burnt and no author was killed.) Anyway, Dan Brown was accused and later sued for plagiarizing the thought from another research book, The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail. Brown even acknowledged the accusation and boldly commented, ‘That’s how you incorporate research into a novel’.
It does not matter whether Jesus was married or not. I would not lose sleep over the issue. The Bible, the holy book of the Christians, showed no interest regarding Jesus’s marital status, but the Quran gave Mohammed a blanket permission to marry as many as he wanted, along with the authorization of accepting the concubines at a discounted price. I am not arguing over their holy books, which is a completely separate issue, but what really intrigues me is the mindset of two groups of people. Christians love Jesus as much as Muslims adore Mohammed, yet Christians are embarrassed to think that Jesus had one, and only one, wife, whereas eclipsed minds of the Muslims cannot see the ugliness of a person sleeping with 23 women.
Muslims are aware of Mohammed’s sultry passion for women and apologists of this cult often make excuses to conceal the flaw of their prophet. The most commonly used, and the best possible, defense that they present is so astonishing that it should be added to the agenda of ‘Ripley’s believe it or not, Muslim apologists argue Mohammed married women from different tribes to create relationships with them and expand the sphere of Islam.
Just one example would suffice to blow apart their house of cards. Mohammed had to make a strategic retreat from his first attempt of invading Mecca and was forced to make a humiliating settlement ‘ the ‘Treaty of Hudaibya’. Evidently, Mohammed’s mercenaries were deprived from possible looting. So, with an intention of robbing, he decided to attack the Jewish tribes who settled in Khyber after being expelled from Medina. It was an unexpected attack and the innocent people of Khyber did not get a chance to defend themselves. According to one of Mohammed’s companions, ‘We met the workers of Khyber coming out in the morning with their spades and baskets’ (Sira, 757). Although Muslim apologists put the burden on the Jews, claiming a defensive war for the Muslims, they refuse to admit that people don’t attack with spades and baskets. Even the people of the Stone Age used to fight with spears made of stones.
After the massacre, ‘The women of Khyber were distributed among the Muslims’ (Sira, 758), and Mohammed chose Safiya d. Abul-Huqayq, the newlywed wife of the tribe’s chief. Mohammed took her to his bed after a brief pretense of a wedding. Perhaps, if the thesis of Muslim apologists is correct, Mohammed must have tried hard to build a bridge between Muslims and the Jews of Khyber. The only problem was that none of the relatives of the poor girl Safiya were alive.
Ibn Ishaq reports in Sirat Rasul Allah, ‘Abu ayyub, Khalid b. Zayd, brother of B. al-Najjar, passed the night girt with his sword, guarding the apostle and going round the tent until in the morning the apostle saw him there and asked him what he meant by this action. He replied, ‘I was afraid for you with this woman for you have killed her father, her husband, and her people, and till recently she was in unbelief, so I was afraid for you on her account’ (Sira, 766).
If the marriage between Mohammed and Safyia was meant to develop a relationship with other tribes, I don’t know how Mohammed could have made friends with the deceased people, especially with those whom he killed!
It’s human nature to seek revenge when a loved one is killed, and the people of Khyber were no exception. A Jewish woman, Zaynab d. al-Harith, put poison in a roast lamb that was offered to Mohammed (Sira, 764). The Muslim who took the first bite died immediately; however, Mohammed only had a morsel of the meat and he survived. Still, it must have been a deadly poison because Mohammed suffered the rest of his life because of the poison. He even admitted, ‘O Umm Bishr, this is the time in which I feel a deadly pain from what I ate with your brother at Khyber’ (Sira, 765).
Unlike ‘The Last Supper’, Mohammed indeed danced ‘The Last Dance’ not joyfully but because of the pain. Ibn Ishaq records, ‘Then the Messenger of God’s illness intensified, the pain became fierce, so he said, ‘Pour seven skins of water over me from different wells so that I may go out to the people and instruct them.’ Aisha states: We made him sit in a tub (mikhdab) belonging to Hafsah bt. Umar and poured water over him until he began saying, ‘Enough, enough’ (al-Tabari, 1801).
I don’t enjoy making fun of a dead person, specifically someone who died with such a pain, but it’s about time to clear the fabricated impression created by Muslim apologists. They have changed the history and altered the truth, they have turned a monster into an angel, and they have succumbed to lies and deception. Had Mohammed been a historical figure and remained as a shrewd warrior, we would not have to worry about him. Sadly, innocent Muslims perceive Mohammed as the symbol of a perfect human, mentor of morality and the role model to follow. It’s fascinating how a person who snatched women and slept with them after killing their loved ones could become a paradigm of morals and ethics!