Woman wants to be beaten only once a week
September 22, 2004 a sad report came out of
and was spread through the Internet that ironically many found amusing. It
was about an Iranian woman, beaten every day by her husband, who asked a
court to tell him to beat her only once a week.
Aftab-e-Yazd daily reported that Maryam, the middle-aged woman, said she
did not want to divorce her husband because she loved him. "Just
tell him to beat me once a week ... Beating is part of his nature and he
cannot stop it," Maryam told the court. When the court prohibited
the husband from beating the wife, he protested: "If
I do not beat her, she will not be scared enough to obey me."
this comic/tragic drama lie two very sad realities that affect all Muslim
women irrespective of their nationalities. The first is that
Muslim women are raised to accept abuse as normal. Since childhood they
are treated differently. In Islamic countries boys are preferred to
girls. Girls are the source of disappointment to their fathers and an
embarrassment to their mothers. If a woman gives birth to a boy she is
lauded but if the child is a girl, she is snubbed. Little girls learn from
infancy on that they are unwanted. At the table their brothers eat first
and take the lion’s share. In poorer families, the female members cook
and serve the males, then wait until these have had their fill. Thereafter
the women scavenge the leftovers.
get the first opportunity to go to school and get ahead in life. Girls are
often denied this chance for there seems to be no need for them to become
educated, since here are few work opportunities for women in Islamic
societies. All to which a girl can aspire is to get married to a man who
will take care of her. She inherits half of what her brothers inherit and
has fewer rights. The rationale is that she would not need it because it
is up to her husband to maintain her.
are liabilities to their families and they are “given away” in
marriage as soon as possible. That could be as young as 9 years of age.
All this conditioning happens with the blessing of “the best and the
most perfect religion” of Islam. After all it was Muhammad who said
women are “deficient in intelligence”. It was he who said men have a
“degree of advantage over women”. It was he who said women who disobey
their husband “should be beaten”. If Islam is the most perfect
religion, then how can one dispute its teachings?
Muslim women grow up knowing only one reality and that is they are
inferior to men and must please them if they want to survive. The
brainwashing is so complete that many Muslim women actually fight to
preserve their lower status. Many of them insist on wearing veil and pride
themselves in their servitude and lesser status.
Islamic societies the abused are as much dependent on the abuser as the
latter is on the former. A good definition of this symbiotic man/woman
relationship in Islamic countries is sadomasochism or to use a more modern
term—codependency. Muslim women have been abused and humiliated since
their birth and this is the only form of existence they have ever known
and are “comfortable” with. They learn from very early on that to
survive or even get ahead, they have to please the men around them. Men
also learn that women are worthless, deceitful and untrustworthy
creatures. Therefore men grow up with no respect for women, their
intelligence and their dignity. These men learn to abuse their sisters and
beat them just as their fathers beat their mothers and they will
eventually beat their wives with complete clarity of conscience. Muslim
men grow up with the understanding that it is their God given right to
beat their women and Muslim women grow up accepting the right of their
husbands to beat them.
this is the pernicious psycho-religious
effect of a nefarious religion within Islamic societies that will not go
away as long as this religion is believed to be from a divine