Holy
water
by Sher Khan
Once upon a time there was a prophet. His name was
Abraham. He had two wives, Sara and Hagar. First wife Sara did not have
any children but Hagar gave birth to Ismail, who became another prophet of
the World Series. Abraham was unemployed and Allah did not send the social
security check to time. The triple had no money to buy milk or water for
the newly born son. So Abraham sent Hagar and her newborn son hundreds of
miles away and abandoned them in the middle of the desert. When Hagar was
running between the hills of Safa and Marwa in the search of water with an
empty feeding bottle, baby Ismail became impatient and kicked the sand.
Hurray! A pool of water surfaced and shaped itself into a well, the famous
holy hole that will be called “Zam Zam”.
Muhammad,
the quack doctor used to sprinkle the holy water of Zam Zam on sick people
and make them drink the same. Since then, Zam Zam water became the holy
water for Muslims. Every year, Muslims from all over the world visit Mecca
and dance around the black cubicle. Pilgrims drink from Zam Zam to purify
their souls and supposedly be cured from any disease that they may have.
They also rub their noses and clean the wax of their ear with this holy
water, a process called ablution or wuduu.
Upon receiving the certificate of “Al-Haj”, they collect a bottle of
Zam Zam water that will be used as medicine when they return home. They
also dip their future burial clothes in the Zam Zam.
The Ganges River, also known as Ganga of Indian sub-continent that
runs for 1560 miles from Himalayas to the ocean is more than just flowing
water. When Hindus take a bath in this holy river, their sins are washed
away. Their souls become pure by touching the water of Ganges or by
consuming it. Obviously, Hindus call this river, “savior of this
world”.
There
are many conflicting and confusing stories regarding the origin of Ganga.
According to Valmiki's Ramayana, Ganga was the daughter of Himalaya and
Menaka. Himalaya is a mountain, whereas Menaka was a nymph and a
nymphomaniac as well. Menaka cheated her husband
and disappeared with her boyfriend Vishwamitra. During Menaka’s absence,
her daughter Ganga was forced to live in a vessel. Menaka had good
connections with other gods. According to Krittivas' Ramayana, the
deities wanted Ganga to marry Lord Shiva. Lord Shiva was a very powerful
god and as handsome as Elvis Presley. Until today, Hindu women worship the
private part of Lord Shiva’s body. Anyway, Menaka called Ganga’s cell
phone but no response! She called all of Ganga’s friends but none had a
clue. Being unable to find Ganga, Menaka cursed Ganga to attain the form
of water.
In
an oasis, a small pond with a continuous supply of water may be a
geological wonder but not a miracle. Yet Muslims believe, Zam Zam is a
miracle because it never runs out of water. There are many natural wonders
in this world that follow nature’s rule and Geyser is one of them.
Geysers are hot springs that erupt hot, steaming water, sometimes at
random and sometimes at a regular interval of time. The eruption of water
stays for 1-20 minutes and it may go as high as 200 ft. There are several
geysers in the Yellowstone park of America, one square mile basin of this
park is home to hundreds of geysers and some are very hot springs, at the
surface boiling point of 199°
F / 93°
C.
Fortunately,
Muhammad or Allah did not know about these geysers. If they had the
knowledge of geysers; they would have accepted these Geysers as miracles
and command Muslims to throw all infidels in the boiling waters instead of
grilling them.
People
of other religions did not find enough holy water to take shower, so they
depend on blessed water. The biblical river Jordan has lost its glamour
and importance due to political unrest of Middle East. Now Christians,
Jews and Buddhists use blessed water from their priests to drive away
evils and be sanctified.
The
irony of this story is the peculiar similarities between Muslims and
Hindus despite their enmity. Muslims believe the myth of Zam Zam and
Hindus are convinced with the story of Ganges water. They have one thing
in common- “Purify soul with miracle water”.
Can
a bottle of Zam Zam water clean the dark soul of a terrorist or a bucket
of dirty and unhygienic water of Ganges change the heart of a Hindu? It
was OK for ancient people to practice these ancient rituals but not for
the people of the 21st century! Zam Zam water, blessed water
and Ganges water are not the miracles; the miracle is the people of 21st
century who believe them.
Definitely,
the people of 80th century will be shocked when they learn
about this holy water business and they will be laughing their heads off.
So, let’s honor our future generation and take a moment to laugh!
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