He told me a story of being on a plane and hearing the pilot calling for a doctor. He continued saying that not just one doctor hesitantly came forward but 6 or 7 until the pilot had to make an announcement that they had to many doctors. He said that some of these doctors were from different nationalities, but yet they care about that nor about the nationality of the patient. They did not even meet the patient before in there life, they just wanted to help naturally no cleric needed to force them. They never asked how the patient was going to pay, what plan they had, they just worked as hard as they could to save the persons life. Then he asked me “would a sinful human naturally be moved to help? Hearing that story would not I be naturally motivated to help with the same determination in that crisis?

He also mentioned that when the terrorist ran planes into the world trade center many on duty fire men rushed to the scene, but thousands more off duty fire fighters showed up of there own free will. Rushing frantically to aid and assist those in need. When the two towers collapsed and several thousand fire fighters died, of those that died many were off duty and risked there lives when they were not obligated. He then asked me if those people showed signs of original sin, inherent guilt, or some how lost favor in some Gods eye. Once again I found it in my self, even while that was happening, thinking “what can I do” “what can I do” compassion poured forth with out my conscience effort. I remember about that time going to give blood at the red cross, and seeing lines out the door of people from all walks of life with one thought of good will. So cultivating loving friendliness was some thing every human posses, and I found it with in myself. He illustrated other stores, like a kind parent trying to cheer up a hurt child. Until he saw that I was beginning to see the point he wanted me to see. This point made my heart concentrated, and calm. Which was at the very least a rest from the years of pain I heaped on myself, but this gave me an insight to work from. The insight that I was already a naturally loving person, and because of that was clearly not busted.
He then continued by asking me “do you steal from others?”
I of course replied “never” He then continued by asking me to explain why? I then said that if I did that I would hurt the person I stole from, and then just feel guilty after wards. He jumped on what I said by saying that “you refrain from stealing not because God will hate you but because you love other people, and even love yourself to keep from feeling guilty” He said I should have another reason to feel happy about myself for giving the world the loving gift of freedom in there possessions. He then continued on with the same point regarding other moral restraints abusive language, sexual misconduct, killing living things, telling false hoods, and so forth. I never thought about them really as loving gifts that I give to the world, and that by giving those gifts I was a noble person. I always thought you did these things to go to heaven, or to make God happy so to give you rewards. Doing these things to fulfill some external image of what I was suppose to be.

Now I was feeling really good not only was I naturally loving, but gave these loving gifts to the world. Not just loving in the past, but loving in the future as well. This really empowered me to let go of what other people thought, and even allot of what I was raised to think. I began to operate from the inside out, instead of always having things dictated to me from the out side in.

I was still not perfect as years of abuse and self abuse do not vanish with one pep talk, but I had a new base from which to work from. He could see the change, and was happy that I was not as over loaded by my negative mental habits, and could begin to see a healthier alternative was possible.

I am not suggesting Buddhism is the great cure all. The monk did have a vantage point coming from a totally different society and way of thinking. When he made the link between how westerners are razed to believe they have original sin, guilt for disobeying another's concepts of God, and so forth was an abusive way to look at myself and life. My whole line of thinking was based on "what does God want me to do?" "Geeze I am not living up to other peoples standards there must be something wrong with me" Some of this abusive out look on life can also be seen in history.

Once he pointed this out I began to recognize, and observe my own thoughts with a new perception. After awhile of recognizing my negative thought patterns, analyzing what the perception was formulating them, I could then let go and replace them with healthier thought patterns. Reflecting on examples of humanities natural tenancies to help when disaster strikes and they temporarily forget their own. Over time this allowed me to rebuild a stable, positive, mental out look from which to live my life.

I have since the initial interview with the monk found my way out of depression. My life became such a joy that I wrote him and thanked him for his insight on how my religious/cultural upbringing was abusive, and how he gave me the help I needed. He refused to take any credit, saying that I put forth the effort of directing my mind out. All he did was illuminate the bad mental habits I had myself trapped in.

I read the depression stories from those who left Islam, and felt they related to the same abusive thinking that Christianity got me into. 

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