My Pakistani Relatives
By Arif Ahmed
Long ago and of course far
away, I had an elder cousin come to visit before he left for
London
. He was a young lad, and full of dreams, he was immigrating to
England
. We heard from him from time to time and saw how he progressed; he worked
hard, came back to
Pakistan
, got married, took his bride to
England
and started a family. Soon he had five boys and two girls, as they grew
older he tried to get them back to
Pakistan
for an education, he could not get them into the schools that he wanted
them to attend.
Schooling and bringing up
his children in accordance with Islam was always a struggle for this young
man and his young family. Whenever he came back on visits to see us and my
parents this was the only topic him and his wife would discuss – Islam
and his children growing up in an "evil" society. Yet they
always boasted of their new wealth and elevated status in life.
My father had brothers who
had immigrated to
England
too and had big families, we would know of each other through letters and
some occasional visits. Their concerns were all the same, “their sons
and daughters growing up in an evil society”. They all left their
homelands for a better future for their children.
I have an uncle who is
married to a Christian, his wife's family too being Christians left
Pakistan
for obvious reasons, and they immigrated to
England
. The cousin I talked about died recently at a relatively young age,
stress and overwork may have brought upon a heart attack. I went to
England
on a vacation recently and decided to call upon the grieving family and
offer my condolences. His five sons are now teenagers and some in their
mid twenties. His two daughters were still in their late teens. After
brief exchanges of the usual we got into deeper aspects of their lives. It
turns out that none of them achieved any education of substance. They were
doing odd jobs and petty insurance frauds involving theft, auto accidents
and small run-ins with the law seemed to be the conversation. I did not
get a feeling of healthy growing young men ready to contribute to society.
I also found out that one of their sisters was suffering from some form of
mental disorder; the other sister was on anti-depressants. There I also
had a chance to visit with my never before seen Uncle, his sons were also
the same, one boasted of having many children from different women. Islam,
prayer, and spread of Islam were their main concern. One was heading back
to
Pakistan
to the big Riewind (near
Lahore
,
Pakistan
) Muslim annual get-together. Again, not much going on in the heads of
these now young men. One thing I noticed was that they too had sisters who
had grave mental issues. They were either depressed or had some kind of
mental disorder. My feelings after I left... phew!!! What a nut house. I
was glad to leave little
Pakistan
.
While in
England
I traced my Christian aunts family, I phoned one of them and explained
whom I was and where I fit in the family tree, that I was living in the
US
and on vacation, I wanted to meet with them for an hour. I visited one of
their homes. The husband and wife had three children, the third was about
to enter
Oxford
University
as a Medical student following the first two, they were proud of the fact
that he had all A's...whatever that meant. I enquired about the other
members of their family. They promised to meet me at a pub later that
evening. There I met with few more of them,
we drank pints (I’m on vacation remember), they talked about football
(soccer), and the clubs they were fans of. The movies they liked, the cars
they drove, the jobs they held, and the politics they talked about had
absolutely no mention of religion. They lived in another world, they lived
in
England
, it was like I was visiting
England
and talking to the British.
In conclusion, though I
visited only a few families, the Muslim half lived in a Muslim dominated
neighborhood; they lived in a world of conflict wrought upon themselves by
their deep faith in Islam. I firmly believe that Muslims cannot integrate
in the West as long as they hold on to their religion. Their men suffer,
their women choose to suffer and their children grow up suffering, the
irony is that they don’t know why.
Arif
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