Roses for Camels and Goats on a Valentine’s Day

By Sher Khan

My wife’s computer mouse was behaving poorly as of late. So, as Valentine’s Day approached, I came up with a brilliant idea! Along with a dozen roses, I bought a sleek and snazzy, technological multi-function mouse for her computer. I figured that in the age of modern technology, such a gift might please her. Not to mention that any gift at all on Valentine’s Day from a husband, is always a meaningful and suggestive gesture.

Well, it didn’t pan out as expected. My son giggled and my daughter wrinkled her nose and shook her head in disbelief, “A stinky mouse for Valentine’s Day?” My wife was happy enough with the roses, but her eyes lost some of their sparkle when the wrapping paper came off the box housing the Blue-toothed patent-pending rodent.

Love and affection are often best communicated through symbols. A teddy bear with a flaming red heart can pack a far more powerful message than even expensive jewelry.

I had to wiggle out of that awkward situation and so I described how Islam perceives Valentine’s Day. I asked: are we not lucky that we don’t live in Saudi Arabia, the birthplace and cradle of Islam?

In Saudi Arabia, also known as Saudi Barbaria, Valentines’ Day is not only banned from the calendar, its celebration is a serious felony. You neck is at stake, if the Muttawa, (the religious police in charge of enforcing the Prophet Mohammed’s strict guidelines) catch you dealing red hearts! They even prohibited anything red on the Valentine’s Day except for bloods from beheading and hand-chopping.

Although, many so-called moderate Muslims living in non-Muslim countries would superficially condemn such oppression, (but only as a survival measure for living among the non-Muslim “infidels”), they know that what Saudi Arabia is doing is perfectly in line with the Prophet Mohammed’s teachings.

There is no place for Cupid in Islam because Mohammed himself treated women inhumanly. His cooked-up, Cartoon Network deity “Allah” clearly commanded Muslims in Q 4:34 to beat their wives. Yes, for a Muslim man, beating his wife, up to all four of them actually, is sanctioned by the god of Islam.

But it is not only in matters of corporal punishment that Mohammed considered women no higher than domestic beasts. Quoting from Mohammed’s last sermon, the famous Muslim historian Tabari reports (IX:113):

“Treat women well for they are like domestic animals and they possess nothing themselves. Allah has made the enjoyment of their bodies lawful in his Qur’an.”

If women are like domestic animals, well then – frankly now – what’s the use of regaling a camel or a goat with a dozen roses? Why bother? They would only chew the roses, and even a teddy bear with a bright red heart would fare no better. No doubt, the Muttawas of Saudi Arabia are doing the right thing – Unless eaten, (thorns and all) Valentine roses would simply be wasted on women. Waste not want not!

Furthermore, the religious police of Saudi Barbaria are merely following the dictates and example of the prophet of Islam. All Muslims are obliged to imitate the prophet and not the kafirs (non-Muslims). According to the Ahadith, one is not a Muslim if one imitates non-Muslims.

The Quran, the heavenly book of Islam clearly states,

(Q 4.115) “If anyone contends with the Messenger even after guidance has been plainly conveyed to him, and follows a path other than that becoming to men of Faith, We shall leave him in the path he has chosen, and land him in Hell,- what an evil refuge!”

No wonder, Muslims wrap their women in extra large trash-can bags when instead the free women of the free world are free to wear whatever they freely please! Pious Muslims never touch razor blades preferring instead to grow thick bushes on their faces so they can set themselves apart from the clean-shaven infidels. Muslim men can marry a woman from the peoples of the book, and like their most Holy Prophet, are even allowed to keep a few concubines, but a Non-Muslim cannot marry a Muslim woman.

So, anyone who follows a path other than that of Mohammed’s, will be marinated on Judgment Day and grilled in hellfire. No one, not even the most savage of cannibals in the darkest and deepest of jungles loves a good human Bar-B-Q as much as Allah!

There was no Valentine’s Day in Mohammed’s age, nor did he have the urge to treat women with love. Delivering a dozen roses to his two dozens wives, would have meant scouring endless miles of Saudi Arabian desert! And even if found and presented, his domestic-animal women would have only been allowed to chew them (thorns and all).

Considering all these facts, Saudi Police are definitely doing the right thing. They are saving the men from wasteful spending, protecting the environment and making sure that the Muslims are not imitating the non-Muslims, thereby saving them from eternal hell fire.

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Posted by on Feb 22 2009. Filed under More. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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  21. paulo

    Any kind of love seems to be sadly absent from Islam. It is the most un-spiritual of religions. Dry and lifeless.

  22. AMIM

    AMIM, Please remember what we like to see in the comments section. We mentioned that to you many times.

  23. Raisin Head

    Muhammad led a sad life. When he married an older woman, he was the laughing stock of the Arabian empire ruled by Hindus. He had to obey Kadija, as it was her business and he was a servant/husband. Was Fatima really his child? He went to the cave like many Arabs to get high and forgethis problems, when he began to see things. The spirit told him revelations and he really thought it was from god. He gave the name of a different angel at first, but then because his wife and her family were Christians and believed in Gabriel, he renamed the spirit who spoke to him Gabriel. He began his religious trek, and found it profitable. His own town made it uncomfortable for him to continue living in Mecca and he ran to Africas and returned to Yathrib (Medina) and found the Jews friendly, but not likely to follow him, He got mad because they laughed at him and he had them beheaded and that is when allah aka Muhammad said in Sura 4:34 2,3,4 wives and beat them as they were Jews and would not be wifely as their men had been killed. There is no love in Islam.
    1.3 billion people are being prepared to be a psychotic cult bent on killing and not producing anything but chaos and fear. Fear leads to war and war leads to defeat and defeat leads to hate and so on. BAN ISLAM AND BAN CONVERSIONS TO ISLAM.

    Hindus don't convert as they dont know which caste they fit in. Africans and Blacks will not fit at all.

  24. wagamama

    Raisin Head, here are some facts about Indian Christians. Do you know Reddy Christians will marry girls from another Reddy Christian family. Kerala Catholics do not marry a Bengali Pentacostal or even a Kerala Jehohva's witness. How many castes or sects of Christianity in India? Are you gracious enough to marry a Somalian Christian girl who was converted a few decades ago? I have not seen Indian Christians giving up Hindu names. Here are some of the hybrid Christian names in India. Paul Vijay, Joseph Kutty, Praveen Benjamin, Sonia Gandhi, John Dayal, Moses Desai, Ravi Fernades. Why the hell are you guys sticking to Hindu names? Don't you feel ashamed because of your hybrid names? Most laughable thing is you guys call monasteries with Hindu names (ashram). Man, your Bible preaches that idolators (HINDUS) will go to hell; yet you want to adopt their customs and traditions. Have you ever offered Gulaab Jamun, Jalebi, Mysore Paak, and Halva to your Father Jesus on his birthday (Dec 25)… Sorry champ, Dec 25 is a borrowed date from pagan celebration day. You guys donno when your Jesus was born. What sort of religion is this? YOU ARE DEPENDENT ON PAGAN RELIGION FOR YOUR SURVIVAL… It is a fact hard to digest for raisin head?

  25. Komal

    Its a shame …. I started a thread with Happy Valentines Day in a Pakistani forum and you have no idea what happened after that ….

    Valentines has such a shameful history … There r no traces of this day in
    Holy book of Quran … Its a day full of sins and Blah Blah Blah ….. I asked them what is our own history isn't it shameful …. ? They were like No ….
    Islam is the best religon there can be …. Its just that we are far too away from
    Islam …..

    Frankly speaking what Islam are they talking about …. Are they trying to say
    that we should attck the Christians villages and take their women and children
    as slaves … And our fathers and brother be allowed to sleep with the same woman… And also the grandfathers …. Punishment of rape to be stonned to
    death …. Shame Shame ….

    What if the same happens to ur sister or mother or daughter ? I would love
    to see how will they feel!

  26. ibrahim

    . wagamama

    Raisin head has no idea about the high levels of castism amongst the Muslims and Christians in India. The upper class christians in Kerela don't even mix up with the lower class christians, they don't even allow them into chruch or even bury their dead in the same graveyard.
    Infact the castism amogst the christians is so high that they could give any believing Hindu a run for his money. While the Hindus are making changes to their social order, the Christians and the muslims are still stuck in the old quagmire.

  27. ibrahim

    Hi Komal, are you the same person who had written a letter to Ali Sina a fwe days back. I am really glad to see that you still are up in your spirits against Islam. Good luck!

  28. Komal

    yes I am the same person …. And Ibrahim I am slowly transferring the message of Faithfreedom to all the muslim youth ….

  29. wagamama

    Ibrahim I agree with you. Despite the caste system prevelant in our society, any doubtful Muslim will try to revert to their ancestral roots conciously or unconciously. Resul Kutty, the Oscar awardee, yesterday talked about OM and silence and said it is a gift for Shivratri. Or may be Kutty has not studied Islamic literature at all. Another example is the person with the penname Komal, who is from Pakistan. Komal is a pure Hindi word.

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