Roses for Camels and Goats on a Valentine’s Day
By Sher Khan
My wife’s computer mouse was behaving poorly as of late. So, as Valentine’s Day approached, I came up with a brilliant idea! Along with a dozen roses, I bought a sleek and snazzy, technological multi-function mouse for her computer. I figured that in the age of modern technology, such a gift might please her. Not to mention that any gift at all on Valentine’s Day from a husband, is always a meaningful and suggestive gesture.
Well, it didn’t pan out as expected. My son giggled and my daughter wrinkled her nose and shook her head in disbelief, “A stinky mouse for Valentine’s Day?” My wife was happy enough with the roses, but her eyes lost some of their sparkle when the wrapping paper came off the box housing the Blue-toothed patent-pending rodent.
Love and affection are often best communicated through symbols. A teddy bear with a flaming red heart can pack a far more powerful message than even expensive jewelry.
I had to wiggle out of that awkward situation and so I described how Islam perceives Valentine’s Day. I asked: are we not lucky that we don’t live in Saudi Arabia, the birthplace and cradle of Islam?
In Saudi Arabia, also known as Saudi Barbaria, Valentines’ Day is not only banned from the calendar, its celebration is a serious felony. You neck is at stake, if the Muttawa, (the religious police in charge of enforcing the Prophet Mohammed’s strict guidelines) catch you dealing red hearts! They even prohibited anything red on the Valentine’s Day except for bloods from beheading and hand-chopping.
Although, many so-called moderate Muslims living in non-Muslim countries would superficially condemn such oppression, (but only as a survival measure for living among the non-Muslim “infidels”), they know that what Saudi Arabia is doing is perfectly in line with the Prophet Mohammed’s teachings.
There is no place for Cupid in Islam because Mohammed himself treated women inhumanly. His cooked-up, Cartoon Network deity “Allah” clearly commanded Muslims in Q 4:34 to beat their wives. Yes, for a Muslim man, beating his wife, up to all four of them actually, is sanctioned by the god of Islam.
But it is not only in matters of corporal punishment that Mohammed considered women no higher than domestic beasts. Quoting from Mohammed’s last sermon, the famous Muslim historian Tabari reports (IX:113):
“Treat women well for they are like domestic animals and they possess nothing themselves. Allah has made the enjoyment of their bodies lawful in his Qur’an.”
If women are like domestic animals, well then – frankly now – what’s the use of regaling a camel or a goat with a dozen roses? Why bother? They would only chew the roses, and even a teddy bear with a bright red heart would fare no better. No doubt, the Muttawas of Saudi Arabia are doing the right thing – Unless eaten, (thorns and all) Valentine roses would simply be wasted on women. Waste not want not!
Furthermore, the religious police of Saudi Barbaria are merely following the dictates and example of the prophet of Islam. All Muslims are obliged to imitate the prophet and not the kafirs (non-Muslims). According to the Ahadith, one is not a Muslim if one imitates non-Muslims.
The Quran, the heavenly book of Islam clearly states,
(Q 4.115) “If anyone contends with the Messenger even after guidance has been plainly conveyed to him, and follows a path other than that becoming to men of Faith, We shall leave him in the path he has chosen, and land him in Hell,- what an evil refuge!”
No wonder, Muslims wrap their women in extra large trash-can bags when instead the free women of the free world are free to wear whatever they freely please! Pious Muslims never touch razor blades preferring instead to grow thick bushes on their faces so they can set themselves apart from the clean-shaven infidels. Muslim men can marry a woman from the peoples of the book, and like their most Holy Prophet, are even allowed to keep a few concubines, but a Non-Muslim cannot marry a Muslim woman.
So, anyone who follows a path other than that of Mohammed’s, will be marinated on Judgment Day and grilled in hellfire. No one, not even the most savage of cannibals in the darkest and deepest of jungles loves a good human Bar-B-Q as much as Allah!
There was no Valentine’s Day in Mohammed’s age, nor did he have the urge to treat women with love. Delivering a dozen roses to his two dozens wives, would have meant scouring endless miles of Saudi Arabian desert! And even if found and presented, his domestic-animal women would have only been allowed to chew them (thorns and all).
Considering all these facts, Saudi Police are definitely doing the right thing. They are saving the men from wasteful spending, protecting the environment and making sure that the Muslims are not imitating the non-Muslims, thereby saving them from eternal hell fire.
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