My story of leaving Islam
Dear Ali Sina,
I have just found your blog and I wanted to share my experience with leaving Islam. It is a very long and very painful story but I wanted to share it as I want to raise awareness of just how disgustingly horrible this religion is. It all started in 2016 when I met my partner. She was the most incredible, special, wonderful woman you could ever meet. Kind, caring, understanding and loving. We started out as friends and very quickly fell in love. I couldn’t believe it. Within a month of knowing each other we had confessed how we felt to one another only… We couldn’t be together. I told her so and she accepted this was because I was Muslim, but her love for me was so deep that she agreed to stay with me even if we couldn’t be a true couple and that we were doomed to break up due to Islam. I wanted to be with her more than anything in the world but I couldn’t. I truly believed that it was not possible for us to be together and I accepted that there was nothing I could do for a variety of reasons.
Religion was one. It was haram to marry her. To be with her and I felt like I had to obey. I was afraid of hell, of the punishment. Another aspect was my family. I knew they would never approve but I quickly got over that and didn’t care if they didn’t want us to be together. My main issue was how I couldn’t be with her due to Islam. It culminated into a big argument in which she begged me to be with her forever. To give her forever. A true relationship and I couldn’t. I cried, I got angry, I yelled. I just wanted her to understand it was out of my hands. It was what had to happen. Or so I thought it was in my foolishness. I was so brainwashed by this religion that I couldn’t even see that my actions were hurting her.
We stayed together despite it and as the months went by it got worse and worse. She learnt more and more about my religion and it made her feel more and more dirty and unloved. I used to watch porn in youth stupidly and she realised that in Islam watching porn is less of a sin than being in a relationship with a non-muslim and felt like she was lower than even that… She felt lower and dirtier than a prostitute and it was all because of my beliefs…
I made her feel unwanted and unattractive and felt dirty and low because she believed that I viewed her as a sin. Which I never did, but Islam defined her as one. As a Kafir. I saw her as something beautiful and pure. I loved her with all my heart but the fact I was still Muslim made her feel that way. That I couldn’t let go of it and still defended a God that she saw as being the reason she lost her father to Cancer and even suffered from cancer herself. All the while I was talking about how God is just and she couldn’t cope with this. She couldn’t understand how I could defend such a cruel evil God who would call her suffering a righteous punishment and our love a dirty sin…
Eventually I left Islam after months, but the damage was done and some of the beliefs it had instilled in me were harder still to remove. I had trouble making the changes needed and now she can’t forget the way I treated her. She can’t forget how low and unloved she felt and the woman I fell in love with is almost completely gone. She’s so unsure of herself. So angry and hurt and the kind, sweet, free spirited and loving woman I fell in love with is almost a memory. Lost in the pain and torment this religion brought on her. I am heartbroken and I’ve almost lost all hope that we can recover from what has happened.
We aren’t together now and I don’t think we ever will be again. What could’ve been a beautiful and happy relationship filled with love was destroyed by this vile religion and this is all that is left of us now… Two heartbroken people who have lost that loving connection that we had sought to form.
I want to warn people of what this disgusting religion does. It truly is a religion of hate and is so vile. Now I am left feeling suicidal and wanting to end my life every day. The only thing stopping me is this woman I have hurt so badly and just wanting to see her happy again because I love her so much. I truly wish that the world would wake up and ban this disgusting cult. I lost 25 years of my life and my future with someone I can only describe as my soulmate to the madness of a lunatic from 1400 years ago. A madness the world defends as a religion of peace. It’s not fair and the sheer hypocrisy of it makes me feel so sick. The world defends Muslims without even looking at the cruelty that this religion inflicts every single day.
I only hope that the world is free from its dark shadow one day. I know I will not live to see that day, but I truly hope it does happen, one day.Kind Regards,Mohamed Hassan.
Hello Mohamed Hassan,
What a heart breaking story! But, it does not have to be like that. Praise the Lord that you have woken up. It is a new beginning. Yes, the pain of what has been lost is immense, but you have most of your life ahead of you and now that you are free of the shackles you can live a happy and fruitful life.
I suggest you send the link to this article to your ex-girlfriend. Of course she is hurt, but this testimony may make her realize what you did to her was not your fault. You were possessed by a demonic spirit and now you are free from it. I hope she will come back and see for herself what a difference it makes to be free from Islam and that without the mind control of Islam you are a beautiful child of God.
Of course suicide is dumb. But I understand the loss and the sadness that one feels after leaving Islam. I am not a depressive kind of person, but I went through a period of intense sadness. Maybe it was depression. But depression is often without a cause. My sadness had a cause and that was the realization of how I had wasted my life chasing a mirage and how over a billion others are doing the same making this world a hell for themselves and for everyone else.
You may have seen the movie The Shawshank Redemption. In it, there is a character named Brooks Hatlen, an old prisoner played by James Whitmore. He has spent his entire adult life in prison and it is the only world he knows. When released, he does not know how to deal with freedom. He is overtaken by sadness. Unable to cope, he hangs himself and ends his life. It is an excellent movie to watch.
https://www1.putlockertv.to/watch/the-shawshank-redemption.1nom/09mww3
It is how ex-Muslims feel when they set themselves free from Islam. We know that we cannot go back but we don’t know how to fit in the world either. Some choose to live their apostasy in silence. On the surface they play the game and pretend to be Muslim while they no longer believe in any of it. Some leave Muslims altogether, but find it hard to find their place in the world and the world remains distrustful of them. It is not easy.
Finding another community to belong helps. I know there is a lot of nonsense in Christianity that puts off any rational person. I was put off by them for many years. But if you can separate Christianity from Jesus, you will find him to be a secure rock and a solace. Finding Jesus and clinging to him gives new meaning to your life. And if you find a Christian church to join you can make new friends and find a new family. I found many Christians are genuinely loving people. When I went for my baptism, I was so much touched by a couple who had prepared a greeting card for me and gave it to me after my baptism. They did not know me, but they went out of their way to make me feel welcomed.
There are three ways to know Christ. One is through churches. This is not my favorite way. The other is through the Gospels. Just remember that the Gospels were written by humans. They are not literal words of God, but you can find the words of God within them. There is also some truth and beauty in the Old Testament, but just read it as a matter of interest. Much of it is fairy-tale. Find Jesus in the Gospels. The third and my favorite way is to establish a personal relationship with Jesus. This is by far the best way and the easiest of all. Make Christ the focus of your life. Think of him at all times and love him with all your heart and soul. Another way to love Jesus is to love others, even animals, and particularly yourself. We are all parts of God. So when you love others, you love God and when you love God, He loves you more.
To love you need to practice. It is like playing music, sport, writing or painting. It is an art that can be learned. That too is also simple. My way of practicing is to focus on someone walking in front of me, it can be a child, an adult or an old person, a woman or a man, well dressed or in rags. And then I send my love to him or her. I imagine this persons struggles, hopes, dreams, sorrows and pains. I identify myself with them. Then I repeat in my mind, you are a child of God. God loves you and so do I. I pray for your happiness, that the Spirit of the Lord descend upon you, take care of you and fill your life with joy and blessings. And then move my focus to another stranger and repeat the same. I may not even see their faces and for sure I will not verbalize my thoughts or everyone will think I am crazy.
At the end I never forget to send the same message of love to myself. I am also a child of God and loved by Him. I am a fractal of His infinite spirit. If I don’t love myself, it means I don’t love God. Never forget to send your love to yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love anyone.
And as an animal lover, I cannot help but send my love to all the birds, dogs, cats, cows, raccoons, squirrels and fish. I even send my love to trees and plants. I pray to the soul of the food I consume and thank the carrot, the onion and the spinach that I eat. They too have life and all things that has life is part of God. Just as sun light makes no distinction and shines on all things, I make sure my love encompasses everyone and everything. That is how God loves His creatures and what He loves we should love too.
I hope all ex-Muslims find Jesus in the way that best suit them. He is the source of all joy and all happiness. Just as there is no darkness in light, there is no sadness in Jesus.
I also hope that your ex-girlfriend will come back and you can start all over again. I would love to read her testimony after witnessing the changes in you, so the world can see the evil that is coming out of the Muslims and their world is not inherent but the result of Islam, that the enemy are not Muslims but Islam. It is this ideology that needs to be defeated. Killing Muslim terrorists will not solve the problem because more will be born every day. This poisonous tree must be uprooted so that the lives of Muslims are saved and the world can experience peace.
People born to this evil cult are just people like everyone else. They can love and feel like everyone else. It is when they are possessed by the demonic spirit of Muhammad that they lose their humanity and act like zombies.
I hope your girlfriend will come back, rediscover the real you without the influence of Islam. And if she doesn’t, don’t be troubled. There is always someone else. Pray and leave your life in the hands of God. He will take care of all your needs, if you can learn to trust.
1) In the above, Ali Sina is proclaiming that he is following Jesus after his “alleged” exit from another faith. Need to see whether his new following will bring a change of brain and make any difference to the 1 sided attack agenda that he (and his like minded plotters gang) are trying to achieve. Why does one say so ? The answer lies in the cartel websites he runs which do not protest the – rapist culture, murderous wars and soldiers killing protesting teens and youths.
(2) The blind silence of his cartel websites on the above mentioned topics, demonstrates his connivance with murders, rapes, slander unleashed on people and countries following other faith. I have experienced it first hand myself when arguing with him.
(3) He mixed lies, deleted critical questions asked by me without any reply. It has been 5 yrs since, till now he has not published the full response (on this website) that i gave him, un-masking the lies he mixed with his reply, he edited his response after my rebuttal to suit his slanderous agenda, he gave a reference source by including his summary lines and when i analysed the reference source, to my shock, it had completely opposite information when compared to the summary lines which he peddled in his reply, the language and solutions he uses in replying to various questions from debaters violates the very own guidelines that he has published for his cartel websites
(4) What solutions can one expect inorder to fight against religious bigotry across different faiths from such a manipulative person ?
(5) [email protected]
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Looks like Anshar Abdul Rahman has un-masked Ali Sina’s slander and lies through his 402 pages e-book in reply to Ali Sina’s 312 pages e-book. Lets see if the “online deceit case” of $ 50,000 reward gets the light of Court some day. This is taking “online bigots game” of Ali Sina to an altogether different level which Ali Sina might never have encountered before with other debaters.
Hi I’m from Iran .I’m sorry world ban Iran and no true information about Iran people. .you must read Iran history or ask from parsis in India. .people in Iran have hardest experience from attack Islam Arabs for hundreds years. .now I want confirm your decide. .you know? In Iran had very scientist and writer that they wrote about this lays of Islam. .I’m sorry that books stay in Iran and no translate for other Islamic language. .now their book is Persian language. They wrote and search very good about page to page or line to line of quran and other Islamic book from start because we know very good Islam and Arabic and Arabs but other people in world no. .sure in Iran or Persia was from start a power resistance against radicalism .we had a different religious ..after Islam.resistance go to make a new religious named Shia. .that like Islam and zartoshtrian ..I hope people in world read from Iran thinker’s for example. Ahmad kasravi(very nooks like Shia Gary) he terror by radical Muslim in 70 years ago. . .Ali dashti (his book. 23 year) this book very years unknown writer because he threat from terror. .shojaldin shafa. .Dr masoud ansari. . and akhond Zade. .and TV program of Bahram moshiri in pars TV. ..and films saved from Reza fazeli. Is dead . .more this thinkers are dead. .They deeply analyzed Islam and cursed all questions and made them aware of and escaped from the dark..now very young people in Iran understand and exit but now we have an Islamic government. ..but The future is bright…
This ,somewhat, is a reminder of the vast difference between the mentality of a Christian father who was disappointed because his daughter turned away from Jesus, in contrast to the mentality a Muslim father who was disappointed because his disappointed because she turned away from Islam.
The Christian father might become sad and then pray for his daughter.. In terrible contrast the Muslim father might become outraged and then murder her in what he would call an “honor killing.”
The difference between the Christian mindset and the Islamic mindset is outstanding.
@Ali Sina
Two men each stand in a dark corner and ask Gautama the Buddha the inevitable question, “Does God exist?” One a devout believer, the other an out-and-out atheist. What answer does each receive? You may be surprise after listening the answer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9GXI_9DXF0
One more very simple argument – an elephant in the room if you like.
If Islam is a peaceful religion that promotes the golden rule: Why on earth is there a whole chapter in the Koran entitled “Booty”?
“He feels as if he is a self-proclaimed winner despite making really weird interpretations,” Yes he is completely deluded.
Ali Sina says
“I have debated many Muslims, All they said can be summarized as:
a) Denial of the authenticity of the Islamic sources that report the stories of crimes of Muhammad (example: debate with Edip Yukssel, the head of the Submitters).
b) Moral relativism and situational ethics, i.e. “In those days, pedophilia, assassination, rape, theft, massacre and lying, were common practice, so Muhammad is innocent because he did what everyone else did.” Muslims even go as far as to question the legitimacy of the Golden Rule to claim we do not have any bases to condemn Muhammad. In other words evil can be good and vice versa (example: debate with Yamin Zakaria)
These are the only two arguments that Muslims present. I am sorry but any rational person can see these are logical fallacies. Read these two debates. If all you want to do is to rehash the same logical fallacies, don’t waste your time, as you can see I have already responded to these arguments.”
I think we can add a third category. Interpret the Koran and sunnah in a way which makes no sense and consequently turns it into completely incoherent gibberish.
“He also talked about how having sex with slaves is like haram, especially married women” He is either lying or making up more BS based on his imagination again.
https://islamqa.info/en/13737
“With regard to your question about it being permissible for a master to be intimate with his slave woman, the answer is that that is because Allaah has permitted it. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)
6. Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame”
[al-Mu’minoon 23:6; al-Ma’aarij 70:30]
That is subject to the condition that he has acquired her in a proper manner, and that this slave woman has not been given by her master in marriage to another man to whom she is still married. The reason why this is permitted is that this slave woman belongs to him, either because he has paid money to buy her or he has fought for the sake of Allaah (and acquired her among the war booty).
Shaykh al-Shanqeeti (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The reason for which people may be taken as slaves is if they are kaafirs who are waging war against Allaah and His Messenger. If Allaah grants victory to the mujaahid Muslims, who are offering their souls, their wealth and all their resources and everything that Allaah has given them so that the word of Allaah might prevail over the kuffaar, then these kuffaar may become slaves, unless the imam chooses to let them go or to ransom them if that serves the interests of the Muslims.”
“Shaykh al-Shanqeeti (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
If it is said: If the slave is a Muslim, how can he be kept as a slave if the reason for which people may be taken as slaves is if they are kaafirs who are waging war against Allaah and His Messenger? The answer is that the basic principle which is well known to the scholars and all wise people is that a right that is already established by shar’i means cannot be superceded by rights that are established later on.
When the Muslims take prisoners of war, they are given the right to enslave them by the law of the Creator of all, and He is the All-Wise, All-Aware. If this right is established, then the slave becomes a Muslim after that, his right to be freed from slavery because of his Islam is superceded by the right of the mujaahid whose right to enslave him took effect before he was a Muslim. It is not just or fair to waive the former right because of a latter right, as is well known to all wise people.
Yes, it is good for the owner to set him free if he becomes Muslim, and Islam enjoins that and encourages it, and opens the door to doing so in many ways – he is referring to the fact that Allaah has decreed that when expiation takes the form of freeing a slave, the slave in question should be a Muslim”
“With regard to Muslims owning slaves, he should be very careful to establish that those who are bought or sold now are indeed slaves, because Islam has limited the sources of slaves which were many before the coming of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and has allowed only one source, which is kaafir prisoners of war, when the kuffaar are fighting the Muslims. There is no other way in which they may be enslaved except those who are captured as a result of fighting between kaffirs and Muslims, or their children.”
So of course Islam discourages slavery – except for the kufaars who you are permitted to enslave and rape because they didn’t convert to Islam or pay the jizya (protection) tax.
I read the blogger’s points of view. He feels as if he is a self-proclaimed winner despite making really weird interpretations, like not addressing your first taking unbelievers as friends QURAN citation, instead pulling out another citation where he uses the word “among” to argue that the quote deals with a battle between believing and not believing Islam that occurs at the heart. Which does not help his case since if Islam was a true religion, this battle would not even exist. He also talked about how having sex with slaves is like haram, especially married women. However, Muhammad did not practice what he preached, conveniently making a loophole and raping Safiyah after murdering her husband. Even though u probably already know this, hopefully having this here will help you. If you ever end up in court for this issue, offer to debate him in person and have a group of people vote on who did better.
Good luck!
Anshar, You have made your so called rebuttal public. I invite people to read it. You refuted nothing. Just proved once again that Islam has no facts and is based only total lies. So demanding payment after making a fool of yourself and your religion is hilarious.
This is from the Blogger…
WANTED:
I am looking for Ali Sina’s address. For anyone, the readers of this website, who can give me the real and the correct full address information of Ali Sina, I will divide the prize of US$ 10,000 for him/her after my demands succeed. It is confidential, I will not open the informer name to anyone. Please send information to my email address: [email protected]
Instead of debating anyone here in this useless website, I would like to ask Alisina to deny everything that I have sent to him.
The Chronology:
1. In debate with Alisina at http://www.alisina.org he suddenly pretended that his website was hacked by a stranger. Until now he has not denied my argument in the discussion. The debate can be read in this link:
http://alisinatheliar.blogspot.co.id/2016/
Please ask the Unknown scholar to read the above link carefully. He will find which one the “clear book” (5:15) “easy to understand” (44:58 , 54:22 , 54:32, 54:40) “explained in detail” (6:114), “conveyed clearly”, (5:16, 10:15) and with “no doubt” in it (2:1). All are inside of his heart. This book called by us as “concience”. When he lie to his wife or to his husband, his “clear book” will admonish him/her that “Hi the Unknown scholar, you are lie…”. The one who admonish him by whispering kindness every time is “easy to understand, explain in detail, conveyed clearly and no doubt”. If he does not believe it, means he does not believe himself. The question, is his concience still clear or still no doubt? If the answer is no, means the unbelievers (kuffar) who always using carnal desires and whispering evil everytime already covered his diamond of heart.
2. At that time I asked Alisina to drop all his charges to fulfil his promising because he lost the debate. He said that he would send a video. The video is about an ex Muslim asking one verse in Al-Quran that should be answered by me first. Then I explained and denied the video as well as denied the bad issue of slavery in Islam. My denial can be seen at the blog address below:
http://alisinatheliar.blogspot.com/2018/01/normal-0-false-false-false-in-x-none-ar.html
3. But after that he still argued, then he asked me to refute his e-book as thick as 312 pages titled “Understanding Muhammad and Muslims”. I have made a 402 pages e-book and have sent it to him more than a month ago. In the rebuttal of this book, I open up all his trickery and rottenness in his book. He is an unfair scholar, for example deliberately cutting off the contents of hadiths or deliberately not quoting additional hadiths explain the same case or misinterpretation of Qur’anic verses.
4. After I sent him e-book of rebuttal, I asked him persuasively to pay the reward that he promised according to his ability, just to prove that he has accepted my denial. But he replied that I was delusional. If I delusional then please refute my e-book, please deny one by one of the issues that I reverted to him. I have submitted all documents to my lawyer in Canada. I will not report regarding blasphemy issue but I will report it regarding an online deceit issue. He had promised a $ 50,000 reward but it turned out to be a planned fraudulent. He becomes deceiver. I will demand it $ 50,000 + $ 50,000. No more persuasive negotiations, once my report submitted into Canada’s police.