URGENT I NEED HELP BEING HARASSED

notthrilled · Joined: 31 Jan 2008 Posts: 40

Hello All,

As you know I was married to a Muslim man. Well he is now threatening to take away my girls because they attend public school !!! I went to the court to get an order of protection and sole custody. He is ignoring those orders and is still trying to take the girls. He has come to my home unannounced, to check to see if the girls are wearing hijab and overgarments !!! He says he wont take them away if I homeschool them.
Can anyone help ? Im in the USA !!!! I have personally spoken with Nonie Darwish in the past...I lost her contact information....Im very afraid because I know he is not going to stop.....

Notthrilled...

Ampbreia · Joined: 16 Feb 2004 Posts: 1351 Location: U.S.A.

FIrst of all, get a restraining order on the man! That way, if he breaks it, he can be jailed.

Is he a U.S. citizen now or only here on a green card? If he has residency only, it is possible you can speak to the Immigration officials about him and have him deported.

What state are you in?
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"Nothing is obtained simply by wanting. And nothing is achieved by relinquishing responsibility to a higher authority." - Enki

Tribalnation · Joined: 31 Oct 2005 Posts: 1002 Location: Desert Southwest

Get a gun that you can comfortably handle...

Become proficient in it's use...

If you live in a state where you can easily obtain a Carry Permit, do so ASAP...

Get an attorney on retainer...

If he insists on continuing to threaten you and your daughters, put two in the chest, one in the head...

When the police arrive, only say the following, and nothing more: "I was in fear for my and/ or daughter's lives. I want him arrested." Regardless if he's alive or dead, say only this phrase, and nothing else. Only give additional statement with legal counsel present.

I'm serious here... Protective orders are great in that they create a paper trail in case you have to use deadly force. But to think that they or the police can or will protect you is at best laughable. It is up to YOU to provide that protection.
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Criticism -- isn’t valid criticism dependent on faultfinding, and isn’t valid faultfinding dependent on verifiable error and failure? Just a question...

Muslims generally despise people who keep them alive and revere people who kill them.

notthrilled · Joined: 31 Jan 2008 Posts: 40

Hello,

I live in NYC...I have a restraining order but have to serve him out of fear ...but he only listens to Shariah and nothing else....

Ram · Joined: 27 Apr 2004 Posts: 1502

R_Nelson · Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 2:01 am Post subject:

Ampbreia · Joined: 16 Feb 2004 Posts: 1351 Location: U.S.A.

Correction about that cell phone. If he has the number to a cell phone you own, don't just change your phone number, get a new phone if you plan to disappear from him and change your name if you can. If you don't plan on vanishing but will remain and fight him, it doesn't matter. Just bear in mind that all registered cell phones have GPS devices in them that can be used to track you anywhere in the world.

The throwaways don't have GPS devices in them by the way.

When giving out your new phone number, limit it in such a way that HE doesn't get it. That would be all he'd need, and a little of your time on the phone, in order to track you. Please bear that in mind.

Best to fight, but no blame on you at all if you just feel safer in vanishing.
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"Nothing is obtained simply by wanting. And nothing is achieved by relinquishing responsibility to a higher authority." - Enki

yeezevee · Joined: 17 Feb 2004 Posts: 17109

running away will not solve the problems. Those threats indeed potentially can become violent ....

NYC Domestic Violence Hotline. (800) 621-4673 TDD: (866) 604-5350 All language, 24 hour, shelter, counseling

http://www.nyc.gov/html/ocdv/downloads/pdf/ResourceDirectory_2008.pdf
http://www.nyc.gov/html/mail/html/mailocdv.html

http://www.opdv.state.ny.us/contact.html

notthrilled · Joined: 31 Jan 2008 Posts: 40

I contacted a women's shelter and they did an intake but at the last minute, I decided against it. We were already in a shelter a few years ago, and I refuse to uproot these children again.

I cannot believe that Im going through this while living right here in the US. This all stems from me sending my kids to school and wanting my daughters to have choices and a life. We dont share the same vision for these girls. This whole situation has made me feel quite ill and depressed.I am still Muslim, but we are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

Ampbreia · Joined: 16 Feb 2004 Posts: 1351 Location: U.S.A.

How old are your girls? By the age of 12, you know, they can choose which parent they want to live with... well in my state (Washington) anyway.

Also, for a father to take children from the mother against her will before they are old enough to choose, he usually has to prove she's a bad mother first. If he can't prove that, he doesn't really stand much chance unless he kidnaps them.

I suggest again the restraining order... but TribalNation is right in pointing out that's not enough. You need to be able to protect yourself physically. The restraining order is just the line in the sand, clearly drawn for him and all authority figures to see. And make very sure that they and all around you understand your objection to the man.

Guns are messy and might upset or even cause injury to the children. I suggest a large man-hating guard dog instead. A rottweiller would do nicely. Unlike dobermans or pit bulls, they don't suffer the dangerous personality quirks from too much inbreeding. They're huge and ferocious but known for their gentleness, loyalty, and protectiveness toward family (especially the children) and utter hostility toward those who incite the upset of said family.

So... just wondering... If you're Muslim, how come you don't want the Islamic upbringing for your children that your ex does? You must see something wrong with it not to want it. I do, of course, but then I'm an appostate and there's a lot I object to in Islam.
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"Nothing is obtained simply by wanting. And nothing is achieved by relinquishing responsibility to a higher authority." - Enki

notthrilled · Joined: 31 Jan 2008 Posts: 40

The main reason I have remained Muslim is for the children. As you can clearly see, even any action taken that goes against Islam causes major problems. Look at the situation that has taken place right now simply because I do not force my girls to always wear the headcovering and overgarments.

I would love to hear from women with children especially girls, who have gone through this situation.....

Ampbreia · Joined: 16 Feb 2004 Posts: 1351 Location: U.S.A.

Anti-Jihad · Joined: 14 Jun 2007 Posts: 3356 Location: US of A

shoeshiner · Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 4684

Have the police serve him the papers for restraining order.

If he breaks it, call the police.
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"The curse of man, and cause of nearly all of his woes, is his stupendous capacity for believing the incredible."

H. L. Mencken

Ram · Joined: 27 Apr 2004 Posts: 1502