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Ali Sina
Joined: 13 Feb 2004
Posts: 4607
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 Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 10:09 am Post subject: Can narcissism be a good thing? |
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Dear Ali,
I am back again! Left for personal reasons... good to see you in form and as energetic as ever. Before i left i read somewhere that u dint mind suggesting nuking terrorist countries and other stuff....is it true? i will read the archive btw. |
Dear SF,
In an article published in WND I wrote: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=67975
Clarity saves lives
In an interview with ABC television, Sen. Hillary Clinton was asked what she would do as president if the Islamic Republic were to launch a nuclear strike on Israel. "I want the Iranians to know that if I'm the president, we will attack Iran," Clinton said unequivocally. "In the next 10 years, during which they might foolishly consider launching an attack on Israel, we would be able to totally obliterate them."
This is tough talk, but it sends a clear message. What was Obama's reaction? He took issue with that and said, "Using words like obliterate doesn't actually produce good results. And so I'm not interested in saber rattling."
The truth is it is ambiguity that doesn't produce good result. Clinton was clear. Clarity acts as a deterrent. When in 1990 April Glaspie, the American ambassador to Iraq, saw the massing of Iraqi troops near the border of Kuwait, she said, "We have no opinion on the Arab-Arab conflicts." This led Saddam into believing he had received a diplomatic green light from the United States to invade Kuwait. Hundreds of thousands of people were killed as the result. If Glaspie had warned Saddam unequivocally of the consequences, many lives would have been saved. Clarity saves lives. Obama's lack of clarity vis-à-vis Iran can spell disaster for millions.
I am an Iranian and very patriotic. Nonetheless I welcomed Clinton’s threat to Iran. That is because I know that threat will be a very strong deterrent for the mullahs to do stupid things and endanger the lives of the people. That is why it is important that all Islamic countries receive a warning that a nuclear attack from their terrorists will not be tolerated and the will pay for it. They are the ones who raised these terrorists. They are the ones who finance them, cheer for them and encourage them. So they cannot wash their hands, hide the terrorists and say, we didn’t do it. Tough talk deters catastrophes from happening.
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Please Please Please do not consider my next question in a negative way...
The thing is, so far whatever i read in psychiatry i found we are inborn egocentric, and there's ALMOST always a narcissistic reason behind philanthropic and organizational movements. I want to ask you is that true? Do you sometimes sit back and gratify saying "yes! iam ali sina! iam famous!". One more thing, the stuff you write and project are so perfect and moral, it is hard for me to imagine a person who thinks so perfectly all the time. So do you ever write something about things which you donot actually feel... but it looks morally and effectively good on paper?
My intention is to learn the truth, so please help me. I know you are a AWESOME GREAT HUMANITARIAN fighting for a great cause and i donot wish to insult you in any way....Infact am asking these questions bcos i hope u would say something that would disprove my knowledge regarding human behavior(egocentrism).
Bye.
SF. |
Yes of course I feel great when I write a good article and many people praise it and feel good when people quote me and acknowledge my work. There is nothing wrong or egotistic about that. You call it narcissism. That is fine. Narcissism is not a bad thing. It is the malignant narcissism that is bad. To explain this let me quote from my recent article on Obama. http://www.faithfreedom.org/Articles/obama/future.html
In view of the fact that there is so little understanding of narcissism and this disorder has caused so much havock, I will explain it first. The darkest chapters of history, nearly all wars, and many religions are owed to this disorder. Narcissism has the potential to wipe out humanity and end life on this planet. No other disease has caused so much death and devastation than narcissism. We must learn about narcissism for our own survival.
It is true that we are all narcissists and actually a healthy dose of narcissism is essential for our well being. It makes us feel good about ourselves, we expect good things to happen to us, believe in our own potential, have a positive outlook at life, be optimistic and happy. However, narcissism as a disorder is an entirely different thing. Let me explain this with a couple of examples:
Blood pressure is a good thing. It is vital. Without it we would die. However, when blood pressure becomes too high, it develops into hypertension and becomes a killer. Take another example: We all have fat in our body. We cannot live without it. But obesity is a killer.
Likewise, a healthy dose of narcissism is necessary. Pathological narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is destructve. For the scope of this article, when I talk about narcissism I am referring to pathological narcissism.
Despite the common misconception, pathological narcissism is not caused by too much self-love, but rather by its absence. It is the result of intense feeling of inferiority.
All humans have feelings of inferiority. From the moment we become conscious of the world around us we notice our own weakness and see everyone else as big and powerful. This awareness causes feelings of inferiority. To avoid it we strive to overcome what causes it. So we learn new skills, triumph over our weaknesses and with each victory our self-esteem and self-confidence grow. The feeling of inferiority becomes the drive behind our successes. To compensate for what we lack, we keep learning new things, acquiring new skills and gaining more mastery as we grow.
For that to happen, it is imperative to have a healthy nurturing environment, particularly during the first six years of our lives. We need love, attention, care and encouragement in healthy doses. That is what must be provided by the primary caregivers, particularly the mother.
What happens if the nurturing during these crucial formative years is not adequate, or is missing, faulty, or smothering? This is more likely to happen when one or both parents are absent, the primary caregiver is too young and inexperienced, or suffers from her own feeling of inferiority. The child does not receive the nurturing and the encouragement to develop the skills that he needs to overcome his weaknesses. Consequently his feeling of inferiority becomes chronic, or in Alfred Adler's parlance, "inferiority complex.”
The feelings of inferiority, or an inferiority complex causes shame. Two things then may happen.
The shame may cause identity disturbance, an unstable self-image and the loss of sense of self. This may result fear of abandonment, unstable interpersonal relationships (idealization and devaluation), impulsivity, engagement in self-damaging behavior (e.g., spending, sex and/or substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating), recurrent suicidal or self-mutilating behavior, irritability, anxiety, chronic feelings of emptiness, and many other debilitating traits. This kind of emotional imbalance is classified as borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Alternatively, you may choose to conceal your feeling of inferiority and your shame. Instead of developing skills to overcome your shortcomings, you become proficient in hiding them. You wear a mask. Your preoccupation becomes how to polish your image and how to keep up appearances. Your world becomes a world of pretense. You become a sleek actor, a magician, a chameleon.
Since you have not developed your own sense of self, you mirror that of others. You become a blank slate upon which others project them selves. Since we all love ourselves, we like those who mirror us, and since you have mastered the art of mirroring everybody, you receive everybody’s love. This is the narcissist’s way of dealing with his feeling of inferiority.
However, deep down inside, you know that you are a failure, an unaccomplished flop, a fraud, unworthy of love and undeserving of the attention that you are getting. You know that you cannot accomplish anything in life because you do not have the skills and your treatment of issues is often partial and incomplete. You get bored, frustrated, and move from one thing to another without accomplishing anything.
But, you have excelled in the art of deception. You wear a mask that makes you look appealing, attractive, desirable, enthralling, fascinating, graceful, seductive, tantalizing, even tempting. You know that once people see through your mask and find out who you really are, you are finished. So you carefully wear your mask at all times and jealously guard it. Despite your ineptitude, you get along in life and do well by deceiving and by cheating.
You become so good in deceiving others that you eventually come to believe in your own deception. Once you see people fall for your lies, you become convinced of them yourself. “How can all these people be wrong?” you wonder, "If they believe me, then I must be right." Your grasp of reality is tenuous. You can't tell the difference between fact and fiction. You come to believe that you must be a gift from heaven, a superior being, with innate grandeur that was waiting to be discovered. You are the One that everyone is waiting for.
Once convinced of your own superiority, you expect everyone to acknowledge it too and if they don’t, you get really angry. “How can these miserable crawling ants not see what everybody else sees? There must be something wrong with them. They must be envious of me. There must be some disease in their hearts that prevents them from seeing my greatness. They are dumb, deaf and blind. They are garbage, unworthy people who don't deserve to live.” Thus the narcissist turns his anger on his detractors and comes down on them with his full rage. BPD sufferers direct their anger and destructiveness towards themselves. Narcissists direct them towards others.
You probably want to read that article. It not only describes the pathological mind of Obama and highlights his similarities with Muhammad, Hitler and other infamous narcissists, it is also a good explanation of narcissism.
Self love and self esteem are important. What is dangerous is the malignant self love.
BTW, I never write something that I do not believe or do not practice just because it looks good on paper. I believe in everything I say and I am the first to practice them. From walking the talk that I get my self esteem and feel good about myself. I do not write to please people and collect fans. I write the truth the way I see it even if it offends my readers and make them hostile. Eventually my views often preveil. That is because I strive to base them on facts and I am truthful about them. I am not right all the times, but I am most of the times.
_________________
Don't be a follower, but a prophet unto your own. |
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sigmundfreud
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 309
Location: Indonesia
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| Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 7:17 am Post subject: |
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Dear Ali,
That article was very informative. I think I have a lot to read, and understand as to what constitutes to personality traits.
BTW, i never said you were "narcissist", i was curious whether or not you "feel great" about yourself.
I must, also describe the reason why such doubts rose. Two days back, i wrote my first article on terrorism. (I have send you in the PM) and i asked for feedback from my friends and colleagues and as this was my first article i was very excited about it.... until guilt started to build in me, was that article written to please my friends or to show genuine concern and meaning. Since then i have gone into severe self conflicts as to what should be felt, or shouldn't be felt. Should or shouldn't i go about publicizing my article?
I am not able to find words to show my distress, and so i thought atleast i should ask you your feelings. |
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