Abusive Muslim Boyfriend
7/26/2012
Hello Mr.Sina ,
I am sure that I sound as many other Christian women who are in a relationship with a Muslim man. We all know what is good for us and we still keep some hope that the relationship can work.
I am with this Muslim guy since 9 years .we live in Canada and he is really not practicing Islam. Accept Ramadan, and this is only in the last years. We drink together, have fun together, people love him, cause he is extremely nice with everyone , social and always well behaved .But with me he is very controlling. As longest I don’t oppose him and smile and talk low, he is great .But God forbidden I speak my mind especially in front people he starts insulting me and is really condescending with his worlds . We have few museums friends who are very serious with practicing Islam , and he tries to look good in front of them, no drinking , no smoking. this year (Ramadan ) we had guest over for the iftar , and I help cooking all day , just before the guests to arrive I wanted to relax and have a glass of wine, to relax. My boyfriend made a huge issue from that and told me that I disrespect his friends on Ramadan. and I should not drink . But this is my house too and I welcome them with food on the table, I took care of the house to look good they to feel good, they should respect me too. I tried to explain him but he got furious, screaming and breaking staff. I am very confused what to do.
Can you tell me what you think? why they are such a hypocrites and even if he claims he is modern and goes out, parties, drinks, when is Ramadan he changes and with me he tries to always be right and when arguing he never listens to my arguments. He simply tells me I am stupid and not intelligent and not decent. I am really not that and everyone knows. But for him, in his eyes, I am not even good to explain my argument –he refuse to hear what I feel and think.
Thank in advance.
Kay (name changed)
Dear Kay,
I am afraid I will have to shatter your hope. This relationship is not going to work. Your boyfriend is a Muslim. No matter how wonderful person he may be, there are two negative things about him: His belief and his upbringing. When your lover contracts AIDS it is advisable that you don’t sleep with him. He could be a wonderful person, but would that make any difference? Islam is worse than AIDS. There are no interreligious happy marriages with Muslims. If there is, it is because the Muslim partner is only nominally Muslim.
Your boyfriend believes in a misogynist religion that regards women as inferior, deficient in intelligent, naturally inclined to deceitfulness and sin. That is one problem. The other is that he has grown up in an Islamic society. Misogyny has become his second nature. His father belittled and humiliated his mother. His uncles humiliated and belittled their wives. His neighbors, friends, and the entire society did the same. Women in Islamic societies accept being subservient to men and admit to be inferior to them. Everyone is conditioned to think this way. It seems normal to them because everyone else believes it and they consider anything Islamic better than anything that comes from kafirdom.
As a person that has grown up in a western culture were equality of men and women is accepted as a fact, you won’t feel comfortable with a misogynist Muslim man. Unless you agree to give up your individuality and freedom and accept to be humiliated and abused I suggest you get out of this relationship. Many western women marrying Muslim men give up all these things. It happens so gradually that they don’t realize it and don’t feel coerced. Don’t tell me a woman who agrees to wear hijab has any dignity left in her. A woman who believes her arms, her legs and all parts of her body are extensions of her vagina and private parts that have to be covered has no dignity and does not deserve any respect. If she wants to project an image of herself as a walking talking vagina, she should be treated as such.
Love does not exist without respect. A man can feel attachment for a woman but if he does not know how to respect her mind, her decisions and her independence that attachment is based on need, not love. If you threaten to leave him he may cry, but that is not because he loves you. It is because he does not know what to do without you. He needs you to take care of his emotional needs.
Your boyfriend is also violent. He breaks things. Why hasn’t he beaten you yet? He fears the consequence. You live in a western country and he fears the law and he also fears that you may leave him. Since you are just boyfriend-girlfriend and have no children, it is easy for you to walk away. That would be hard on him. But once you get married and have children, his control over you increases and you may see a facet of him that you had not seen yet.
If I had the right to advise you I would have told you to plan carefully your way out of this relationship. Don’t tell him anything. Once you know you will be safe, leave him and do it in such a way that he cannot pose a threat to you. He may not be that stupid but it is not unheard of Muslim men acting violently towards women who reject them.
The whole Islamic world is narcissist. They all reflect the mental disorder of their prophet. Narcissists are abusive. They have very low self-esteem. They humiliate their nearest and dearest. They put others down so they can feel good about themselves. They also have double standard. They engage in all sorts of vices and want to be perceived as holy people. This was how Muhammad was. They are concerned about their image.
The Islamic world is based on shame and honor. These are narcissistic concepts. Ethical societies base their values on guilt and innocence. In cultures that are based on guilt and innocence, evil is avoided because it destroys innocence and it induces guilt. To have guilt you have to have conscience.
In societies that are based on shame and honor, your only concern is how others view you. The image that you project is more important than yourself. All that matters is that others perceive you as an upright and moral person. As long as you can keep that image, you are okay even if you live a degenerate life. In brief, in shame based societies it is one’s projected image that defines his actions, whereas in guilt based societies it is one’s conscience that polices ones conduct.
When two persons coming from these two opposing world-views become a couple their values clash. The person coming from guilt and innocence culture suffer most, especially if that person happens to be a woman and physically in a disadvantage. In a violent confrontation between a man and a woman, often the latter gets most of the beating. Even without the physical violence, the person with conscience suffers more than the one bereft of it.
To you Muslims appear as hypocrite and you are right. But as far as they are concerned this hypocrisy is the way of life. This is how things have been forever. In the sick mind of a Muslim, the only thing that matters is how others view him. He can be shit inside (pardon the Arabic), but as long as others think he is a good man he can live a happy life with no pang of conscience. When you don’t have a conscience, how can you feel pain in it?
Narcissists are also vindictive. It is not unknown for Muslim men to harm the woman they claim to love if she rejects them. Your boyfriend may not be a violent person (I don’t know then why he smashes things) but he is a Muslim. I advise you to be a bit more cautious when breaking up with a Muslim man. They have such a fragile sense of self that they often can’t take rejection well. When you reject a narcissist you burst his bubble of self importance and he may want to take his revenge.
Since I don’t know your particular case, I cannot give you any suggestions. I am speaking in general terms. In case you believe this man is good and can be salvaged (this is often wishful thinking) you may want to try to speak to him about the problem. The problem is deeper than what he is willing to acknowledge. He may apologize for being rude to you and promise to not do it again. 
But that does not solve the problem. He is not in control of his actions. He is a victim of a wrong upbringing and a wrong religion. Until he does get rid of these two monkeys, his promises are a dime a dozen.
So speak to him clearly. Tell him you have come to the conclusion that Islam is the problem and is the reason he is behaving in this way. If he acknowledges that and leaves Islam the problem will not be solved, but at least an awareness of it is created. Once you are aware of the problem you are in a much better situation to deal with it.
You have to give him two choices: Study Islam together and discover the truth about it or sayonara. If he agrees to study Islam I suggest you read my book because this book gives you a perspective through which you will be able to solve all its mysteries.
Women who suffer and endure abusive relationship often suffer from low self-esteem. No person who respects herself will stay in such relationships. They immediately can spot an abusive person and will leave him. They often don’t even get beyond the first date with such people. This relationship is not healthy for you. It destroys your self-esteem and this is the mother of all ills.
Short URL: http://www.archive2012.faithfreedom.org/?p=38700
Posted by 
Really Be thankful for this send, how can I make is accordingly that I accept an alert email when you engrave a pristine article?
Thanks, I have just been looking for information approximately this subject for a long time and yours is the best I have found out so far. However, what in regards to the conclusion? Are you positive in regards to the supply?
I believe this website has very great pent content material content.
F*ckin’ remarkable issues here. I am very glad to see your article. Thank you so much and i’m looking ahead to contact you. Will you kindly drop me a mail?
The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.
It is perfect time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or suggestions. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read more things about it!
Basically, admirable what you have carried out here. It is pleasing to search you express from the heart along with your clarity on this important subject material might be quickly looked. Outstanding publish and can appear ahead in your potential update.
How do I export my Blogspot blogs to my Weebly blog?
Thanks for every one of your work on this website. Debby loves setting aside time for investigation and it’s really obvious why. Almost all notice all about the lively manner you convey practical ideas on the web site and as well as foster contribution from people on this area so our simple princess is actually discovering a lot. Take pleasure in the rest of the year. You are always doing a powerful job.
Thanks for your post. I also feel that laptop computers are getting to be more and more popular nowadays, and now are sometimes the only type of computer utilised in a household. This is due to the fact that at the same time potentially they are becoming more and more reasonably priced, their processing power is growing to the point where they are as potent as personal computers through just a few years back.
Hi there, I found your site via Google while searching for a related topic, your site came up, it looks good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
I have learned new things by means of your blog site. One other thing I would like to say is newer laptop or computer os’s are likely to allow far more memory to be utilized, but they additionally demand more ram simply to operate. If someone’s computer is not able to handle much more memory along with the newest program requires that storage increase, it is usually the time to shop for a new Computer system. Thanks
I’ve recently started a web site, the information you offer on this website has helped me greatly. Thanks for all of your time & work. “The man who fights for his fellow-man is a better man than the one who fights for himself.” by Clarence Darrow.
This is very interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger. I have joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your wonderful post. Also, I have shared your web site in my social networks!
Wonderful blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Appreciate it
Chewbacca Cam
Many thankfulness for creating the effort to discuss this, I consider convincingly regarding this and enjoy studying a abundant split extra by this subject. If sufficient, as you gain expertise, would you mind updating your website with a vast covenant additional info? It’s truly beneficial in support of me.
Mira Your Hair Oil Scam : Does This Product Surpass Its Claims
Good day! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!
You got a really useful blog site I’ve been here reading for about an hour. I am a newbie and your accomplishment is quite much an inspiration for me.
We’ve prepared for an individual several free of charge tarot card sheets are created ??… Really like Tarot cards, Clairvoyance Clara as well as proudly.
Great write-up, I am regular visitor of one’s web site, maintain up the excellent operate, and It’s going to be a regular visitor for a long time.
Simply desire to say your article is as surprising. The clarity for your publish is just cool and that i can suppose you are knowledgeable on this subject. Well together with your permission allow me to grab your RSS feed to stay updated with forthcoming post. Thank you 1,000,000 and please keep up the enjoyable work.
I would comparable to thnkx for the efforts you have place in writing this blog. I’m hoping the matching high-grade website post as of you in the imminent as fine. Clothed in actuality your creative writing skills has buoyant me to get my own trap site at the present. In truth the blogging is spreading its wings hastily. Your compose cheery is a great instance of it.
Thank you, I have been browsing for information about this subject for ages and yours will be the greatest I’ve located so far.
Youre as a result awe-inspiring, man! I cant deem I missed this blog for hence elongated. Its merely fantastic gear every on all sides. Your propose, man…too amazing! I cant hold your fire to read what youve got subsequently. I darling all that youre saying and want extra, additional, MORE! Keep this up, man! Its merely too good.
I was curious if you ever considered changing the structure of your site? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?
Hmm it looks like your website ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to the whole thing. Do you have any recommendations for beginner blog writers? I’d really appreciate it.
I like the helpful information you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here regularly. I’m quite sure I’ll learn a lot of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!
Have you ever considered publishing an ebook or guest authoring on other blogs? I have a blog based upon on the same information you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my viewers would appreciate your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an email.
I wish there were more such blogs.
you’re really a good webmaster. The web site loading speed is incredible. It kind of feels that you’re doing any unique trick. Furthermore, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a great job in this topic!
You acquired a really useful blog I’ve been right here reading for about an hour. I am a newbie along with your accomplishment is extremely considerably an inspiration for me.
Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.
I value the post.Much thanks again. Want more.
Thanks for your write-up. I also feel that laptop computers are becoming more and more popular today, and now are sometimes the only sort of computer utilized in a household. This is due to the fact that at the same time they are becoming more and more cost-effective, their working power is growing to the point where there’re as robust as pc’s out of just a few years back.
Im thankful for the article post. Awesome.
Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.
Thanks for the guidelines you have provided here. Something else I would like to mention is that laptop memory demands generally go up along with other innovations in the technological innovation. For instance, whenever new generations of cpus are made in the market, there is certainly usually a matching increase in the type preferences of both computer system memory plus hard drive room. This is because software program operated by way of these cpus will inevitably increase in power to leverage the new know-how.
Necessary to deliver you just a little note to assist Thanks significantly all over again around the magnificent views which you may have discussed at this time. It genuinely is incredibly generous easily give you what exactly a lot of men and women would’ve created being an e-book to receive some bucks for themselves, particularly considering which you might probably have attempted inside the event exactly exactly where you would like. Similarly, the guidelines served to become a wonderful method to grasp that several persons have identical to mine the same desire to learn a great deal when considering this subject. I assume that countless numbers more exciting moments from the future to the men and women of all ages who look at your site.
Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.
Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.
hey there and thank you for your information – I’ve certainly picked up something new from right here. I did however expertise some technical issues using this site, as I experienced to reload the web site a lot of times previous to I could get it to load properly. I had been wondering if your web hosting is OK? Not that I am complaining, but slow loading instances times will sometimes affect your placement in google and can damage your high quality score if advertising and marketing with Adwords. Well I am adding this RSS to my email and can look out for much more of your respective exciting content. Make sure you update this again soon..
The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.
Hi, I just discovered your blog via google. Your article is truly pertinent to my life right now, and I’m really happy I found your website.
Relatively component of info. I simply came across your blog in conjunction with accession income providing i usually acquire essentially loved checking account an individual’s web site blogposts. At any rate Let me turn into enrolling with your health supplement as well as When i being successful a person handiness regularly easily.
Good blog post. A few things i would like to make contributions about is that computer memory ought to be purchased when your computer can no longer cope with anything you do along with it. One can put in two RAM boards with 1GB each, in particular, but not certainly one of 1GB and one with 2GB. One should check the maker’s documentation for the PC to be sure what type of memory is necessary.
Certainly I like your web-site, nonetheless you’ve to take a appear at the spelling on quite a couple of of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I discover it quite troublesome to inform you. Nonetheless I’ll surely come back again!
Resources like the one you mentioned right here will be really useful to me! I will post a link to this page on my blog site. I’m certain my visitors will locate that very useful.
Hello There. I discovered your blog the usage of msn. This is a really neatly written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and return to read extra of your helpful info. Thanks for the post. I will definitely comeback.