A Note From a Secularist
Submitted by Administrator on Mon, 08/31/2009 - 14:36
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PDF versionDear FFI,
I've been reading your site fro a about a year and half since I stumbled upon it unexpectedly researching for some articles about Islam, since the London bombings.
Born as a Muslim, but raised with lots of respect to other faiths. My family by far the most liberal out of the lot when it comes to faith related matters. Religion was never imposed on us by any means. Mom's greatest pleasure was to help the disabled, and the Orphan, and see the contented smile on their faces at the end of the deed. I as a child being very accustomed this type of behaviour from my parents, acquired this habit without a single effort. When I help the poor, I've never expected rewards for after life. That was the last thing on my mind. My contentment came instantly the minute I put a smile on a face of the needy. No matter what religion or race they're from.
I've equally visited Buddhist temples, Hindu temples, Mosques and all other faith based institutes with an open mind. I consider my self a Secularist as I have no qualms about people worshipping their chosen deity so long as they do not impose it upon others.
In the mean time I met my now husband and settled in the UK which made matters worse due to the fanatical preachings of the British Muslims. After 9/11 it became worse. Unfortunately my very qualified husband who holds a very responsible position at work was drawn to this like a wasp to left overs on a picnic mat.
My first awakening was when I was beaten black and blue by him while I was 3 months pregnant(we weren't married during this period). I was about to receive some documents from a legal source which appeared to be fake. Due to this I lost a lot of money and time as I had no idea that I was being played out by a crook. Nonetheless, I obtained the docs with the help of the law and sorted things out.
This incident really bugged him to the extreme that I got slaps here and there while pregnant and had to have an abortion due to cultural implications. On one occasion I could not lay down on my back due to the bruises. When ever the assault begins he'd say it says in the Quoran that men are allowed to beat their wives if they go out of control. My boundaries were the four walls of the house, and was not even allowed to step into the back yard to cut some flowers to the vases. This behaviour of his took place about 13 years ago. I was forced to wear the scarf which I found very uncomfortable. However, I forced my self to do so to make him happy.
Since 4 years I've started to rebel. I told him, if my daughter would get married I would like her to choose some one who would respect her for who she is, and not some one who'd not beat her with quotes from the Quran as an example. I want my Son to respect women, and love them, and cherish them.
I always wandered why Allah did not drive some sense into him while he was beating me saying he had the right to do so according the Quoran. I've started to question now, which his family and he are very irritated to divulge in. If ever he touches me in a harming way I've threatened to call the Police. Therefor,his chauvinistic behaviour is gradually coming under control. I've stopped fasting as I have no strength what so ever to go hungry and thirsty for 15-17 hours consecutively. I need the energy to look after my kids responsibly. Only the other day I saw a Famine in Ethiopia where innocent kids are dying of hunger, and Allah is supposed to be healing them with his kind actions? The amount of food that go to waste in Muslim countries during fasting is so enormous that you could feed the poor for weeks on end. This is what I do not understand with the division of food among the haves and the have nots. Yet,they say God is fair in his distributions.
I'm proud to call my self a secularist as I have many faiths in my family. One thing I've learnt being human is to respect others no matter what their out look in life. Religions bring nothing but seclusion. And it's anti- social.
With regards,
Me. Who reads your site often.
A touchig story really, from
A touchig story really, from your post, it is easy to tell the kind of human being you are, while some people find it hard to side with reality, your type is what defines true humanity.
Any Muslima married to a Muslim who practices Islam very well is never free, as you said up there, being confined to the house and wearing the covers all the time is far from comfortable. I am sure you know this, but as a reminder, don't let your husband and even your family know of your real thoughts on Islam, you know how deluded the ummah is, tied to a man like that you are far from freedom, with parents still Muslms, even relatives could ex-communicate you or worse.
I just wonder how you go about without fasting in your home, it is not easy to live among Muslims as an apostate in the closet, you are welcome to this site, I am an ex-Muslim myself, to me, the only good Muslims are those that can never beat their wives, never marry more than one wife, strongly denounce pedophilia even from their prophet, strongly condemn the actions of terrorists, freedom loving and do not care about the implementation of shariah anywhere, as you can see, it is hard to find such Muslims, the moderate Muslims most oftenly have great admiratio for the Jihadists.
Allah is too fictitious to help the Ethiopian children, ever wondered why the invisible and the non-existent are so much alike? I hope your daughter will somehow escape the delusion that is Islam
Secularist You are brave. I
Secularist
You are brave. I understand why you stay. Your children will follow your husband example bt seeing the evil done to you. The boy will beat women and the girl will allow herself to be beaten. I know many muslim and non-muslims women who have allowed this evil to be done to them. To stop this evil women must rise and demand freeedom. Men who are braindead will never stop until they are dead physically, sorry to say. Muhammad did his dirt until he died on top of his 18 year old wife and he was 60s. allah is the devil and he bragged in quran 3:54.
Dear Secularist, I fear that
Dear Secularist,
I fear that your story is only too common amongst the Umma.
I too think you are very brave to remain within your marriage - doubtless for the sake of your children - but as Raisinhead notes, they may follow in your husbands footsteps with regard to behaviour.
I also wonder if you will be able to stay within the family - and like Busted Divinity - I would caution you to avoid letting the family see you are no longer a 'true' muslim (whatever that means to them!).
What is worrying to me is that your Husband has been attracted to the more extreme version of Islam preached here in the UK (and in many Western Countries - it seems to be almost a "compensation mechanism" in non-muslim countires for the lack of Islamic rule).
There have been many people victimised by an attack of "SJS" (sudden Jihad syndrome). If this happens, you will have to leave. Take any younger (<16) children with you and get to a Solicitor FAST to get them Court protection (I think one type is having them made "Wards of Court"). This will stop your husband simply removing them from the Country.
As a women you can be assured that the law is basically on your side in family matters (whether this is right or not is another matter - but it is true).
Good luck
Good luck
I just cant believe the
I just cant believe the amount of apostates that are rising. The internet is truely a beautiful invention. I hope FFI can post 1 apostate every week.
Internet is anti allah and
Internet is anti allah and anti jihadis and is the knowledge tree that GOD had warned about,Too much knowledge is bad for religion of he middle eastern variety.Too much knowledge is bad for priests and mullahs and Allah and GOD feel helpless.Particularly the pimp allah feels impotent.
I like to put apostasy from
I like to put apostasy from Islam in some positive perspective, tentatively.
We tend to see that such an apostate of Islam loses something, namely Islam. But I like to see his/ her transformation as him/ her gaining something. On top of whatever Islam gave/ taught, the apostate now gains more wisdom, is getting more open-minded, broadminded. And the people around and the world at large prophit from the spiritual growth of the apostate. Because other life-convictions, including Christianity or Darwinism and others, that can develop once Islam no longer stands in their way, can be very beneficial for persons, their loved ones, and the whole world I think.
Let's see; Into ISLAM go: Babies born in Muslim families, and converts from other life-convictions. Out from Islam go: The apostates, the persons who get more broad-minded, openminded, who develop other wisdom, positive thoughts, behavior than just mostly Islamic formed behavior. And FFI/ Islam Watch promote this increase in personal and worldwide wisdom. Let us hope that per saldo worldwide more people promote out of myopic narrowminded Islam than get born into it or converted to it.
Dear All, Thanks for all
Dear All,
Thanks for all your comments.
I appreciate it.
Love to all.
Niev
Problem with Islam is
Problem with Islam is MUSLIMS….they take every word written in Quran literally and fight and abuse others without thinking. (Just look at the language they use in the above comments! )
In fact every religion has statements that encourage violence, hatred and narrow thinking and claims to the effect that they are the best / only chosen path to GOD. Hinduism ( my religion) also has such statements.
But people other than Muslims ( and thankfully many Muslims too ) take such statements with a pinch of salt to coexist with people of other religions and also to adjust to modern world.
For example Krishna ( a Hindu god) also says I am the best and I am the only God and my way is the only way. But elsewhere Hindu scriptures also say that ‘truth is one.. only it is interpreted differently by different scholars’ Hindus will be stupid and will be hated by all if they recite only Krishna’s statements ( without understanding the context) but ignore the second statement!
Each religion was created to make humans better and to make them live with each other well and in a harmonious way. So also Islam.. Muslims must understand the thoughts and philosophy Holy Prophet propagated and not the exact words. Only then Muslims will find peace and happiness.
But I am afraid that will never happen and this downward spiral of hatred will only continue.
Dear Hegde I disagree with
Dear Hegde
I disagree with you completely. You sound like a real dumbo when you say the problem with Islam is Muslims, infact it is the other way round. The problem with muslims is Islam.
Secondly, please tell me how does hinduism encourage hatred and violence. The irony is that inspite of being a Hindu you failed to understand the meaning of Bhagwadgita and blame Shree Krishna for being the instigator of all such evil. It is becoz of so called secular people like you that our beautifull country is bleeding from head to toe.
We too have similar incidents in our country where uneducated men beat their wives but Hindu religion is never the driving force behind such actions.
You say each religion was created to make humans better and so was Islam !!!
You seem to be too impressed by the pedophile's actions and words.
You sound like a kid here at FFI. Go do some research and then utter this nonsense.
Ahh well said warrior.But the
Ahh well said warrior.But the typical ignorant hindu( stupid as well) will sprout the same nonsense this hindu cretin has vomited out.No thinking and research has gone in.Just spew out rubbish and curse hinduism at the same time to show to the world how liberal he is! He will be too scared to say any thing against islamic evil or the brabaric christianity.he will easily curse hinduism and hindus as he is well aware that there will be no retaliation.He is safe from hindus and the minoroties as long he cursesonly hinduism and heaps praises on moslems and sonia's relatives.
Dear Secularist, The
Dear Secularist,
The relationship you describe is not at all normal, and is barbaric to say the least. Both you and your children will need help as you have all become ' Codependent ' on one another.
Neither your tank or your husband's has had any ' love ' in them to fill your children's tank with love. They are running on empty, on fumes . They have picked up a lot of bad stuff from their parents ( you & hubby ) that they will carry into their own future relationship with their respective spouses, and pass on to their children ( your grandkids..and so on and so forth...for generations to come, unless it is stopped and treated ).
If I may, and if you can, get hold of this book from your public library or a book store
LOVE IS A CHOICE
The groundbreaking Book on Recovery for Codependent Relationships
By : Dr. Robert Hemfelt ; Dr. Frank Minirth ; and Dr. Paul Meier
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Choice-Definitive-Unhealthy-Relationships/dp/...
And here is what another Holy Book says about relationship between husband and wife :
Colossians 3:19-20
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
(In other words, husbands give up your lives for the love you have for your wives)
May the Love of God which passes all understandings fill your heart, and may the LORD give you wisdom and understanding, patience, and Joy in knowing that He Loves you way beyond your imagination, regardless of your circumstances.
May The Lord protect and keep you, always.
Parviz
Check out this book
Check out this book also:
http://www.amazon.com/Choice-Breaking-Cycle-Addictive-Relationships/dp/0...
Also: http://www.amazon.com/
Also:
http://www.amazon.com/Choice-Breaking-Cycle-Addictive-Relationships/dp/0...
Dear Secularist, Why did'nt
Dear Secularist,
Why did'nt you leave your husband in the very beginning? You say he beat you black and blue when you were still unmarried and three months pregnant. You then had an abortion. Was'nt that the time to dump your abusive boyfriend? Instead you get married to him and now complain. What were you thinking?
Excuse me, but I think Allah should have knocked some sense into you too, not just your husband.
Thank You.