Printer-friendly versionSend to friendPDF version[color=blue][b]Editor's note:[/b] This testimony was posted on the original FFI site, and copied here June 18, 2006.[/color] [b]Jahed Ahmed[/b]

My Experience With Islam

(An apostate’s testimony) [b]Jahed Ahmed[/b] [b]E-mail:[/b] [url=mailto:worldcitizen73@yahoo.com]worldcitizen73@yahoo.com [/url] [i]"I’m not a citizen of Greece or Athens; I’m a citizen of the world”[/i]. 2500 years have passed since a Greek philosopher said so, meantime, human civilizations have made magnificent progress; our knowledge about the world and universe has increased by many folds, yet in our modern world, there are not many people, who take pride in their identity as world citizen. Even to date, mankind is divided into so many factions under identities defined by race, religion etc. Not so long ago, I myself also took pride in my first identity as a Muslim. It was Islam that dictated my personal identity of who I’m, my daily activities and my morals. It went as far as regulating, from what kind of food I should eat, to what kind people I should make friendship with. How sad it is to realize- I've spent so many years of my life under an ideology, which is authoritarian, gender-biased, dogmatic and highly provincial in its outlook toward humanity. I will provide solid basis for saying so about my ex-religion. But before that, let me give a personal background.

Birth and my family:

I was born in 1973 in a middle class rural family in Bangladesh. My parents had named me after Islam’s prophet, Muhammad. My name, therefore, is [i]Mohammed Jahed Ahmed[/i]. ‘Ahmed’ is also another name of the prophet. It is a widely held belief among Muslims, that if a person is named after the prophet, in the after life- during the day of last judgment, prophet would recommend him/her to Allah for entry to paradise. I lost my father when I was just 3 years. So I'm not able to recall any personal memory with him, but from what I heard from my mother, relatives and all the acquaintances of my father- he was a very religious man. And so is my mother, who is alive to date. I've three elder brothers and one sister, who is oldest. In terms of their positions in Islam, my mother, all my brothers and sister, possibly belong to ‘mainstream’ Muslims, who are immensely mistaken about their beliefs in Islam. Again, I will save my comments about ‘mainstream’ Muslims for a later time.

My childhood and adolescence period (1973 to 1992) as a pious Muslim boy:

Up to the age of eighteen, I spent time in my village. My childhood education started both in school and mosque simultaneously. From the age of six, I started going to village government funded school for primary education, and to mosque in the neighborhood for Islamic education. I will mainly focus on Islamic education I received in mosque from the [i]Maulana[/i] (Muslim priest). My Islamic education consisted of lessons on reading, reciting and occasionally memorizing certain verses of [i]Quran[/i], Muslim’s sacred book; besides, we were taught- how to perform Islamic rituals like daily five time prayers, fasting for a month in a year dictated by Islamic calendar, performing Muslim funerals etc. A significant portion of our Islamic education consisted of passionate listening to Prophet Muhammad’s life and sayings ([i]Hadeeth[/i]). We were told every now and then - Islam is the truest religion, there is no God but Allah; prophet Muhammad is Allah’s last messenger, and Quran is Allah’s message toward mankind through His messenger. We often were told about stories depicting supernatural abilities of prophet Muhammad (e.g. prophet Muhammad’s meeting with Allah during an event known as [i]Miraj[/i]; stories about how prophet received Allah’s instructions through angel Gabriel etc). Any person even with slightest trace of a doubt in these things, we were told, lacks [i]Iman[/i] , which constitute first of the five main pillars of Islam. All the [i]Maulanas[/i] and pious Muslims I knew, helped me develop a concept of prophet Muhammad, which was mixed with great awes! Many considered it not only inappropriate, but also sinful to think of Muhammad as an ordinary human being. How could he be an ordinary person, who has shown so many super natural activities ([i]Mujejas[/i])? – we heard from [i]Maulana[/i] and other Muslims. On one occasion, we were told, with mere raise of prophet’s index finger, the whole moon broke into two pieces! [i]‘Still, non-believers didn’t have faith in him’[/i], said [i]Maulana[/i]. We were told, only Muslims will enter heaven after death (among them, first, would enter those, who have lived as true Muslims!). We were repeatedly told- among the Allah’s cursed people and serious enemy are those of idle worshippers (Hindus), [i]Nasara[/i] (Christians), and Jews! As we were told, often it was supplemented by narration of incidences from prophet’s life; things he said about these groups of people, and the troubles prophet faced from such people, during his life time. We were told- idle worshippers (Hindus), [i]Nasara[/i] (Christians), and Jews are the enemies of Islam, and we should always keep distance from them! I do remember, one or two times, we were punished for going to Hindu village fair ([i]Rat Jatra[/i]). At that time, I didn’t yet meet any Christians or Jews, but occasionally saw some Hindus, but every time, I kept a safe distance from such people, and would give them a look, not unmixed with surprises! We were warned repeatedly to be alert- so as never to commit [i]Sheerk[/i], the gravest sin in Islam, which means, equating Allah with any other entity. Since Hindus believe in many Gods, they are among the most dangerous sinners in the world, we were told. And since Hindus commit [i]Sheerk[/i], unlike for Muslims, you cannot wish eternal peace for a Hindu, not so even upon his/her death! If we heard the death of a Muslim, we were taught to recite an Arabic prayer ([i]Inna Lillahi Oa Inna Ilahi Rajeon[/i]), which is totally different from what we would recite upon hearing the death of a Hindu ([i]Fee nari jahannama khalidin[/i]- wishing eternal hell fire!). As for Christians and Jews, we were told, even though their scriptures (New & Old Testament in Bible) once contained words from the Allah through prophets, whom Quran and Muhammed acknowledge; nevertheless, they (Christians and Jews) have deteriorated their scriptures, don’t have faith in Muhammad, and therefore, are not true believers! Girls were instructed to cover their body and put veils on heads, according to Islamic ways. I clearly remember having heard from my [i]Maulana[/i] on one occasion that, a woman, who doesn’t cover her body and put veils on head, is like a peeled banana sold in the open market! [i]‘If a peeled banana is sold in the market, would you buy it?’[/i], asked the [i]Maulana[/i]. [i]’So is a woman without coverings! No body is going to like her’[/i], he concluded. This is what constituted my childhood Islamic education. Needless to say, I took all such sayings and instructions in plain faith, and never doubted it, for all the people in my world were Muslims at that time. I was quite pious. I said five times prayers and recited Quran almost on a daily basis. Often I thanked Allah for having created me as a Muslim! I will give one example to illustrate- how [i]Maulana’s[/i] teaching shaped my views about other religions. Starting from the third standard, we had a subject called [i]Religious Studies[/i] in our school. For us, [i]Religious Studies[/i] meant Islamic studies since there were no Hindu students in our class. Since question papers were not made by our own school teachers, rather, by a group of teachers of the local [i]Thana[/i] (police station), same set of question papers were sent to different schools, of which some had Hindu students. Therefore, the question papers on [i]Religious Studies[/i] had two different sections. First half was on Islam and second half was on Hindu Religion. During exam, once we were handed over question papers, the first thing we, the Muslim students, would do was crossing out questions on Hindu Religion. We crossed out the Hindu section such a way that almost nothing would be readable thereafter. We did so this because, we thought, even looking at questions on Hindu Religion was a great sin! Later in life, after being doubtful about [i]Maulana’s[/i] teaching, I tried to learn the basis of such parochial and dogmatic views, and I found my answer in Quran itself! I will come to that later. In the year 1990, I finished my secondary education (SSC) and went to capital city, Dhaka, some 350 kms away from my home, to pursue higher secondary (HSC) education. There I remained for about two and half years. Till then, I was a pious Muslim and never found any reason to doubt anything of Islam. Of course, shifting from a small village to, all the way, capital city was a remarkable event, and I learned a lot of new things previously unknown to me, nevertheless, nothing happened in my life to reevaluate my Islamic beliefs. For example, now I studied in a famous Christian Missionary College and met many Christian and Hindu teachers and students, however, I did remain very much a ‘mainstream’ Muslim with the typical basic beliefs such as, Islam is the truest religion in the world, Quran is Allah’s words and prophet Muhammad is Allah’s true messenger. Another important concept that was repeatedly installed into our mind by [i]Maulana[/i] and all the Muslims I knew, was sentiment of Muslim [i]Umma[/i], which means, all Muslims are my brothers and sisters, and I must always pray for them. All the Islamic gatherings I attended, ended with a passionate prayer ([i]Doa[/i]) and it was about the well being of all Muslims in the world. I don’t recall even single such event that included prayer for the benefit of any non-Muslims! Whole prayer revolved around the benefits of Muslim brotherhood. However, cracks in my Islamic beliefs started to appear, not until I went to India for higher studies.

My experiences in India (1993 to 1998) - beginning of skepticism:

Staying in India for five years is one of the most significant events of my life! It was in India, I experienced my first love, memory of which I cherish to date! The word ‘India’ gives me feelings of nostalgia, more than the word, ‘Bangladesh’, my own country! I met quite a few very decent, liberal and caring people; we became good friends and are so till now. Again, it was in India, for the first time in life, I experienced and was taken aback by the anthropological, cultural and religious diversity of human beings. So many people, such a diverse nature, so many culture and so many language; yet it is a single country! My acquaintance with the diversity of nature and people in India played an important role in later development of humanist philosophy in my mind. Of my five years of stay, I spent first three years in Bangalore of Karanataka, a south Indian state, and next two years in Mysore , another small town in Karnataka state. I need to elaborate a little bit about my first love as this experience is related to later development of skepticism in my mind. It was while I was in Bangalore doing my first year of B.Sc course, I fell in love with a school going Hindu girl of the neighborhood. I had a small motorcycle and it was, probably, July, 1993: it has been two months since we came to India. We, five Bangladesh students, rented a house. One day after noon, after the college, I was roaming on motorcycle with a fellow-Bangladeshi friend behind me, I saw a girl on the roof of a house, near by Hindu temple, which was located few blocks away, down the road, of our house. I don’t know why, looking at the girl, I lost myself! I was enthralled by her beauty! I felt, what people call ‘love at the first sight’! I felt, this girl has been created just for me! Thereafter, days and night she was in my mind. I gave her the name [i]ROJA[/i], after the title of a south Indian super hit film at that time, which was based on a romantic love story between a Muslim girl and a Hindu boy. [i]Roja[/i] was a student of ninth standard in the local school. Within a few days, I got it all by heart- time she would go to school at, her returning time from school, and the time- when she would go to the temple in the late afternoon. I followed her silently for two years without daring to talk to her. At last, one day, after two years, I followed her to the school in a bus with the courage of a close friend of mine, who accompanied me to her school. I talked to her and liked it very much. She, herself, also appeared to be very interesting in me. A month went by, I didn’t let her know- I was from Bangladesh. Instead, I said, I was from West Bengal, a province of India, where people speak same language as people in Bangladesh. After a month, I disclosed my real identity and said, I am a Bangladeshi Muslim. After a week, she declined to continue relationship on the ground that an uncle of hers has seen her with me and complained back to her parents. It should be mentioned that her parents were south Indian Brahmins, who are known to be very orthodox among Hindus. I drew the conclusion, she withdrew herself from the relation, because, once she learned- I was a Muslim from Bangladesh, she didn’t see much hopes in our relation. Though, she, herself, was not an orthodox, her parents were, and her society was! Later, when I told my brother and mother about this incidence, I was rebuked for being so close with a Hindu girl! My first love ended painfully, with religion being the main hurdle. However, it left me with a big question: why did it happen that, I am a Muslim boy but fell in love with a Hindu girl, and that too, so passionately? Why did I feel so much for her, when there were so many other girls? Where couldn’t my religion stop me? Then, is what people say right, that is to say, love is blind and doesn’t know the limits of race, religion and country? So, is it natural to fall in love with her, because we both are humans with emotions? If so, is the religion artificial then? My love was natural, I thought, because nothing kept me from falling in love with her. On the other hand, no body induced me to love her. For couples of week, I couldn’t concentrate on my studies. I felt, my life had no meaning! I was quite shocked over a long period of time. So many things kept coming into my mind. I remember having studied human anatomy, physiology in my B.Sc class. Aren’t they (human body and physiology) same throughout whole human race? Is the physiology of a Hindu different from that of a Muslim? Doesn’t it mean, we all are created by same creator? Why does it matter, if some people call the creator Allah and others call [i]Bhagwan[/i], or God? Is the religion man made then? First trace of skepticism developed in my mind. However, I still didn’t start to scrutinize religion. Meantime, while in college, I made some very great friends and many of them happened to be Hindu Brahmins (others were non-Brahmin Hindus). We became very intimate friends. Often I would go to their houses and spend time. Some of my friends’ mothers reminded me very much of my own mother left in Bangladesh. Their love and affections toward their son and his friend (me) , every day concerns, asking repeatedly for God’s favor for the well being of their son, etc were very typical a Bangladeshi mother! I will give one example. After purchasing a new motorcycle, I went to visit my friend’s house. My friend’s mother didn’t let me ride the new motorcycle second time without ensuring that I’ve first sought Goddess’ blessing for my new motorcycle! She performed a small [i]puja[/i] (seeking God’s blessing according to Hindu custom) on my new motorcycle. I sought an answer to the question: why did she want me to perform a [i]puja[/i] when she knew, I am a Muslim, who doesn’t believe in such thing? My explanation was: she loves me as a friend of her son and doesn’t want me to be deprived of Goddess’ blessing. She did- what she believed best for me. I realized- beyond the layers of a different religion and custom, she too is a mother, just like my own! From a close distance, I observed many Hindu customs and rituals. But in a lot of ways, south Indian Hindu customs and traditions were different than those of Bengali Hindus. I participated in many Hindu festivals and ceremonies. Even for me, Hindu events like [i]Hooli[/i] (playing with colors), [i]Dewali[/i], became matters of great celebrations! In August, 1996, I finished my B.Sc degree, left Bangalore for Mysore, which was some 70 Kms away from Bangalore. There also I made quite a few very good friends. When we finished first year of our Master’s degree, our class went on a month long all India trip. That was very recreational and educative. For a month, teachers, boys and girls were together. We ate together, slept together and had chatty discussions together. I also went on a short trip while I was in Bangalore. So it should be obvious that I had a very great time in India. To date, some of my best friends are from India. My acquaintance and own practical experiences with Indian friends made me realize- there are good people in every religion and culture. It gave rise to certain questions in my mind. My own experience came in clear contradictions with what I heard about Hindus back home. I asked myself, are the views of many Muslims about Hindus right? I remember having being warned by my mother, prior to my every departure to India: [i]“son, always remember, that’s a land of Hindus! Always be cautious while dealing with Hindus.”[/i] But how could I say, it’s just a popular misconception? Does Islam, itself, hold very favorable views about Hindus, or people of other religions? I felt very helpless to recall my [i]Maulana’s[/i] teachings: Muslims can wish peace only for Muslims; If a Hindu dies, immediate reaction of a pious Muslim is wishing eternal hell fire! I don’t care so much about other Hindus as I do about those I’m close to? How could I wish hell fire, God forbids, say, if I hear, [i]Naganand[/i], my dearest friend, has died? How could the truest religion in the world hold such parochial and misanthropic views? Are not Hindus human beings? Then, is it because religion is man made, and therefore could not succeed in overcoming typical human narrow-mindedness, such as wishing and doing good to the members of one’s own community only (‘racial prejudice’)? During the last two years of my stay in India, my mind remained preoccupied with all such questions. All these I am saying not to imply that all the Hindu people I met in India are equally great and all the Muslim people I knew in Bangladesh are bad! Not at all! Even at that time, I clearly realized- no where people are purely homogenous in their characteristics! Nevertheless, I couldn’t help asking myself: why do I belong to a religion whose teachings contradict with real life experience? I would not elaborate more about my experiences in India except that it was during last three years (1995 to 1998) of my stay in India, when I started being skeptical about my religion Islam. However, it happened very silently. I sought explanations for some of the contradictions I faced in India only at a later stage. In July, 1998, I finished my Master’s degree, and left India permanently.

Back to Bangladesh (1998-2000): my faith becomes shaken!

I came back to Bangladesh and started preparing myself for higher studies in USA. From mid July 1998 to end of July 2000, I was in Bangladesh. At that time, I started collecting books on the philosophy. I learned about rationalism. I was particularly attracted by the writings of [url=http://mohaguru.humanists.net/]Aroj Ali Matubbor[/url], a self –made Bangladeshi Philosopher. I was happy to learn that there are also others who don’t take religious teachings in plain faith. [i]Aroj Ali’s[/i] books were interesting, but he didn’t reach any conclusion himself. His method was asking questions and discussing Islamic explanations in contrast with other rationalistic explanations. For example: [i]Aroj Ali[/i] asked, is it possible for a single individual to be the kindest and most just at the same time? According to him, a person sticking to justice can’t always indulge in kindness, or a kindest person always cannot be most just. But we know, according to Quran, Allah is said to be the kindest and most just! Another humanist and rationalistic iconoclast of the time was late Professor Ahmed Shariff of Dhaka University, Bangladesh. I must admit, I was heavily influenced by his writings, which univocally emphasized on reason over blind faith. Not so surprising, in Bangladesh he was declared [i]‘Murtad’[/i] (nonbeliever and an enemy of Islam!) by the [i]Mullas[/i] (Muslim clergies)! Like [i]Aroj Ali[/i], Professor [i]Shariff[/i] also donated his dead body for Medical research through will prior to his death. After Prof. Shariff died in 1999, I collected books by him, read them, and also I read articles on him written by others. One thing struck my mind very much: even those who disagreed with his opinion on religion admitted that- Prof. Shariff led a thoroughly honest life. I couldn’t help asking myself a question: Prof. Shariff, beyond doubt, was an atheist; yet he was an honest man! Doesn’t it imply- one can lead a decent life without sticking to religion? I kept thinking about the issue for several days. I also pondered, if there is an afterlife; according to Islam, Shariff, for sure, would suffer eternal hell fire, but would it be fair? Why should an honest man be punished so severely by Allah, who, we know, is the kindest? I didn’t find satisfactory answer. Another rationalistic writer who influenced me heavily was [url=http://www.humanists.net/avijit/prabir/]Prabir Ghosh[/url] of Calcutta, India. His famous Bengali book, [i]“Aloukik noy, loukik” (“Natural, not supernatural”)[/i] is full of scientific and rationalistic explanations for many so-called miracles. Other Bangladeshi writers whom I had read, and who were critical of Islamic ideology were Humayun Azad, Taslima Nasrin. By then, Taslima Nasrin was an internationally well-known feminist writer. It should be mentioned that, like Professor Shariff, Mullas declared her as well [i]‘Murtad’[/i] and issued fatwa (ruling based on Islamic laws) against her (there was a big bounty for her head!). I started losing faith in Islam. At home, often I was rebuked for not saying prayers by my mother and brothers. My mother at that time commented, [color=red][i]“I made a great mistake by permitting you to go to India! Now I understand, what Hindus have done to you!”[/i][/color]. Fortunately, a distant nephew of mine was a student of [i]Social Studies[/i]. At secondary school, he was a classmate of mine and we are of same age. I discussed with him many philosophical issues. We discussed together Plato’s famous [i]Republic[/i], how Plato’s views had influenced later Christianity, how Aristotle, a long time student at Plato’s Academy, differed from his master through rationalistic explanation of nature and human mind, etc. As for the Islam, we both concluded, Quran is a modified extension of Old Testament. Thus my time in Bangladesh ended and I left for USA in July, 2000.

In USA- I become a humanist (July 2000 till present):

By the end of July 2000, I came to USA on student visa (F-1) and joined Colorado State University, Fort Collins, Colorado, to do Ph.D. in Cell & Molecular Biology. Interestingly, I found Americans and their culture significantly liberal, humane and friendly than ours. I didn’t at all experience what some people call ‘cultural shock’. I thought, this is human and this is how it should be. In particular, I have been appreciative of the trend of American culture that- if a boy and a girl meet, and over a period of time, like each other, then race, religion hardly matters in their relation. I wished, I had met my [i]Roja[/i] in USA! Here I had free access to internet, both in the library and in the lab I worked in. I quickly became obsessed with internet. Needless to say, most of time I spent reading philosophy on internet. For the first time in life I started reading English articles of famous thinkers like Albert Einstein, Spinoza, Descartes, and Bertrand Russell etc. In particular, I was interested to learn what all these great minds thought about religion. With help of internet search engine, I rediscovered [b]CSCIOP[/b] ([b]C[/b]ommittee for the [b]Sci[/b]entific [b]I[/b]nvestigations [b]O[/b]f [b]P[/b]aranormals). It may be mentioned, while in Bangladesh, I read about CSICOP and their activities in [i]Probhir Gosh’s[/i] book. Through CSICOP, I came to know about [b]Council for Secular Humanism –CSH[/b] ([url=http://www.secularhumanism.org/]www.secularhumanism.org[/url]), the largest organization of humanists, atheists, and agnostics in North America. Joy abounded in me when I discovered- I’m not alone and there are so many people in the world who think in similar direction about organized religions! I contacted CSH to inform- I’m a humanist and I do share their principles and views. They responded with greetings and provided me with the internet links to many more affiliated humanist organizations. Among them was [b]Institute for the Secularization of Islamic Society –ISIS[/b] ([url=http://www.secularislam.org/]www.secularislam.org[/url]). To date, CSH and ISIS websites remain two of my most favorite, informative and educative internet resources! At ISIS website, I found good number articles written by learned persons that debunk the myths associated with Islam, Muhammad and Quran. I found answers to many of my questions. I read history of compilation of Quran written by Ibne Warraq, a Muslim apostate and a scholar by any definition, contradictions of Quran written by Syed Kamran Mirza and other ambiguities in Quranic verses. Besides, I found it very interesting to learn about freethinkers that swayed Islam and its history. One such freethinker of Muslim origin is poet Al Ma’arri (973-1057), sometimes known as Eastern Lucretius. For Al-Ma'arri, religion is a "fable invented by the ancients," worthless except for those who exploit the credulous masses. Another freethinker and skeptic of Muslim origin is Omar Khayam, who said: [quote] [i]“Why, all the Saints and Sages who discuss’d Of the Two Worlds so learnedly, are thrust Like foolish Prophets forth; their Words to Scorn Are scatter’d, and their Mouths are stopt with Dust.”[/i] [/quote] Meantime, through internet, I came across few more fellow-Bangladeshi freethinkers living abroad, who consider themselves as apostates. We formed an online forum called [b][i]Mukto-Mona[/i][/b] ,(freethinkers) [[url=http://www.mukto-mona.com/]www.mukto-mona.com[/url]], interacted almost on regular basis and discussed the ways to rationalize Islam. We all agreed with the views of ISIS, which says, [i]”…Islamic society has been held back by an unwillingness to subject its beliefs, laws and practices to critical examination, by a lack of respect for the rights of the individual, and by an unwillingness to tolerate alternative viewpoints or to engage in constructive dialogue.”[/i]. We started writing articles on a regular basis at NFB (News from Bangladesh, an internet based daily newspaper). It was interesting to see how sharply Mullas reacted to our criticisms of Islam. Often we received hate mails from Mullas. Some were from Bangladeshi Muslims; others were from Muslims of other countries! The [i]Mullas[/i] were enraged by our effort to demystify Islam. Sometimes, I wrote articles using my real name (Jahed Ahmed), other time I used pseudonym such as [i]Satya Sondhani[/i] (truth seeker), Ray. J. Akash. The former became quite popular and became a subject of intense hatred for Mullas. Avjit Roy, a fellow Bangladeshi, founder and modeartor of Mukto-mona and a very active freethinker, has saved some of my articles, which are available online at – [quote] [url=http://humanists.net/avijit/aroj_ali/secular_article.htm]http://humanists.net/avijit/aroj_ali/secular_article.htm[/url] [/quote] Through internet we came across another very devoted, energetic freethinker from Iran. His name is Dr. Ali Sina. Including him and some more freethinkers from USA, Canada, we founded [b]Faith Freedom International[/b] ([url=http://www.main.faithfreedom.org/]www.faithfreedom.org[/url]). This website has been a very popular one, but for obvious reasons, also has been a matter of immense concerns for [i]Mullas[/i]. Meantime, I came in contact (online) with Ibne Warraq, the founder of ISIS. In August 2001, I faced a personal disastrous problem of academic origin. I was dismissed from graduate school! Of curse, it didn’t happen overnight. Due to my over participation on issues, not related to my subject, my GPA (Grade Point Average) went below standard and I was placed on probation during Spring 2001. However, I couldn’t get rid of my obsession with Philosophy and internet, and as a consequence I was dismissed! Then came 9/11. Although profoundly shocked, we were not surprised by the atrocities of Islamic fanatics! We issued a statement addressing world Muslims, emphasizing the root of religious intolerance, hatred in Quran and Hadeeth. I, on behalf of Faith Freedom International, e-mailed a copy of our statement to US President at White House, Washington D.C., and to the Secretary, Dept. of State. A copy of our statement could be viewed at [quote] http://main.faithfreedom.org/Articles/sina/call_to_muslims.htm [/quote] [color=blue][b]Editors note:[/b] The link above is no longer active. An updated link will be provided when available.[/color] I left Colorado and came to Michigan by the end of September, 2001. In November (or, may be December), 2001, Ibne Warraq of ISIS invited me at a conference of ex-Muslims at [b]Center for Free Inquiry, Amherst, Buffalo, New York[/b]. It was a great event in my life! I met good number of fellow freethinkers from Muslim countries such as Pakistan; Bangladesh, Iran and India. Also I had an opportunity to talk face-to-face with prominent secular humanist philosopher Prof. Paul Kurtz, many of whose writings I was familiar with. He is the founder of CSICOP, as well as Council for Secular Humanism (CSH). The conference lasted for three days. I was allowed to present my personal views through a short speech. As a strategy to secularize Islamic societies, I emphasized on having access to secular curriculum for the children of Muslim countries.

My present views about Islam: questions I didn’t answer:

Reading my testimony, one would see- what I learned from [i]Maulana[/i] as a child has had a deep impact on my mind at later life. One might argue- [i]Maulana[/i] was an ignorant person and his teaching was erroneous. One might say, real Islam is totally different from what [i]Maulana[/i] taught me. However, I would certainly disagree with that, for by now, I’ve read Quran and [i]Hadeeth[/i] myself, and I do think, what [i]Maulana[/i] taught me significantly exist in Muslims’ Holy Scripture. I will soon quote verses from Quran to present my stand. Before that, I need to comment on popular views about Islam, or views of what we call ‘mainstream’ Muslims. I mentioned in the beginnings that in terms of their views on Islam, my mother, brothers, and sister belong to ‘mainstream’ Muslims. Who are these ‘mainstream’ Muslims? They are the majority of Muslim population, who take words of Quran for granted without ever realizing the need to apply rationale while studying Quran. They, mistakenly, believe- Islam is all about peace (interestingly, US President George W. Bush also seems to believe so)! They also believe, Muhammad is a holy man, the greatest human earth (or, may be , Allah) has ever produced, again- without ever realizing the need to scrutinize his life with a rational mind. Of course, I agree, unlike Islamic terrorists, mainstream Muslims don’t commit atrocities to others. However, they are the people who blame the Islamic terrorists for their actions, but they never try to think, many verses of Holy Quran and [i]hadeeth[/i] directly are supportive of extremism! Now I will give some proof of Quranic extremism. First of all, Islam divides the world into two parts: [i]Dar-el-Islam[/i] (Land of Muslims) and [i]Dar-el-Harb[/i] (Land of War -non Muslims). I don’t know if a Hindu divides the mankind into Hindus and non-Hindus. I’m not certain, if a Christian or a Jews believes in such sectarian views. But I’m sure- Muslims do! I’ve met plenty of Muslims who believe, it is only Islam that can guarantee peace and prosperity for mankind. In accordance with Quran, it is the duty of every Muslim to conquer the non-Muslim land and convert the inhabitants into Islam. Now I will present an excerpt from Faith Freedom International’s call to world Muslims. It will show verses of Quran, which, by any standard, are inhuman, parochial and potentially dangerous! [quote] “…Quran tells us to: [i]"not to make friendship with Jews and Christians"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/005.qmt.html#005.051]Q. 5:51[/url]), fight them [i]"until they pay the Jizya[/i] (a penalty tax for the non-Muslims living under Islamic rules) [i]with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/009.qmt.html#009.029]Q. 9:29[/url]). [i]"kill the disbelievers wherever we find them"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/002.qmt.html#002.191]Q.2:191[/url]), [i]"murder them and treat them harshly"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/009.qmt.html#009.123]Q. 9:123[/url]), [i]"fight and slay the Pagans, seize them, beleaguer them, and lie in wait for them in every stratagem"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/009.qmt.html#009.005]Q. 9:5[/url]). Quran says that all those who disbelieve in Islam go to hell ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/005.qmt.html#005.010]Q. 5:10[/url]), they are najis (filthy, untouchable, impure) ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/009.qmt.html#009.028]Q. 9:28[/url]), and orders us to fight the unbelievers until no other religion except Islam is left ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/002.qmt.html#002.193]Q.2:193[/url]). It prohibits a Muslim to befriend a non-believer even if that non-believer is the father or the brother of that Muslim ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/009.qmt.html#009.023]Q. 9:23[/url]), ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/003.qmt.html#003.028]Q. 3:28[/url]). It says that the [i]"non-believers will go to hell and will drink boiling water"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/014.qmt.html#014.017]Q. 14:17[/url]). It asks the Muslims to [i]"slay or crucify or cut the hands and feet of the unbelievers, that they be expelled from the land with disgrace and that they shall have great punishment in the world hereafter"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/005.qmt.html#005.034]Q. 5:34[/url]). And tells us that [i]"for them (the unbelievers) garments of fire shall be cut and there shall be poured over their heads boiling water whereby whatever is in their bowels and skin shall be dissolved and they will be punished with hooked iron rods"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/022.qmt.html#022.019]Q. 22:19-22[/url]) and that they not only will have [i]"disgrace in this life, on the Day of Judgment He shall make them taste the Penalty of burning (Fire)"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/022.qmt.html#022.009]Q. 22:9[/url]). Quran says that [i]"those who invoke a God other than Allah not only should meet punishment in this world but the Penalty on the Day of Judgment will be doubled to them, and they will dwell therein in ignominy"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/025.qmt.html#025.068]Q. 25:68[/url]). For those who [i]"believe not in Allah and His Messenger, He has prepared, for those who reject Allah, a Blazing Fire!"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/048.qmt.html#048.013]Q. 48:13[/url]). As for him who does not believe in Islam the Prophet says that after he dies it will be announced with a [i]"stern command"[/i]: [i]"Seize ye him, and bind ye him, And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire. Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits! This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High. And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent! So no friend hath he here this Day. Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds, Which none do eat but those in sin."[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/069.qmt.html#069.030]Q. 69:30-37[/url]) The holy Prophet prescribes fighting for us and tells us that [i]"it is good for us even if we dislike it"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/002.qmt.html#002.216]Q.2:216[/url]). Then he advises us to [i]"strike off the heads of the disbelievers"[/i]; and after making a [i]"wide slaughter among them, carefully tie up the remaining captives"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/047.qmt.html#047.004]Q.47:4[/url]). Our God has promised to [i]"instill terror into the hearts of the unbelievers"[/i] and has ordered us to [i]"smite above their necks and smite all their finger-tips off them"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/008.qmt.html#008.012]Q.8:12[/url]). and [i]"to strike terror into (the hearts of the enemies"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/008.qmt.html#008.060]Q.8:60[/url]). He has made the Jihad mandatory and warns us that [i]"Unless we go forth, (for Jihad) He will punish us with a grievous penalty, and put others in our place"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/009.qmt.html#009.039]Q.9:39[/url]). Allah speaks to our Holy Prophet and says [i]"O Prophet! strive hard against the unbelievers and the Hypocrites, and be stern against them. Their abode is Hell,- an evil refuge indeed"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/009.qmt.html#009.073]Q. 9:73[/url]). He promises us that in the fight for His cause whether we slay or are slain we return to the garden of Paradise ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/009.qmt.html#009.111]Q. 9:111[/url]). In Paradise he will [i]"wed us with Houris (celestial virgins) pure beautiful ones"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/056.qmt.html#056.054]Q. 56:54[/url]), and unite us with large-eyed beautiful ones while we recline on our thrones set in lines ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/056.qmt.html#056.020]Q. 56:20[/url]). There we are promised to eat and drink pleasantly for what we did (56:19). And have sex with [i]"boys like hidden pearls"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/056.qmt.html#056.024]Q. 56:24[/url]) and [i]"youth never altering in age like scattered pearls"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/076.qmt.html#076.019]Q. 76:19[/url]) As you see, Allah has promised all sorts of rewards, gluttony and unlimited sex to Muslim men who kill the unbelievers in his name, not forgetting even those with pedophilic inclinations. We will be admitted to Paradise where we shall find [i]"goodly things, beautiful ones, pure ones confined to the pavilions that man has not touched them before nor jinni"[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/056.qmt.html#056.067]Q. 56:67-71[/url]). In the West we enjoy freedom of belief but we are not supposed to give such freedom to anyone else because it is written [i]"If anyone desires a religion other than Islam (submission to Allah), never will it be accepted of him; and in the Hereafter He will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good)[/i] ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/003.qmt.html#003.085]Q. 3:85[/url]). As for women, the book of Allah says that they are inferior to men and their husbands have the right to scourge them if they are found disobedient ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/004.qmt.html#004.034]Q. 4:34[/url]). It advises men to [i]take a green branch and beat their wives[/i], because a green branch is more flexible and hurts more. ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/038.qmt.html#038.044]Q. 38:44[/url]). It teaches that women will go to hell if they are disobedient to their husbands (66:10). It maintains that men have an advantage over the women ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/002.qmt.html#002.228]Q. 2:228[/url]). It not only denies the women's equal rights, it decrees that their witness is not admissible in the courts of law ([url=http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/002.qmt.html#002.282]Q. 2:282[/url]). This means that a woman who is raped cannot accuse her rapist unless she can produce a male witness. Our Holy Prophet allows us to marry up to four wives and he licensed us to sleep with our slave maids and as many 'captive' women as we may have (4:3) even if those women are already married. He himself did just that…….” [/quote]

My addition to above:

Quran is not the words from God! Muhammad is not a holy man! He married [i]Ayesha[/i], when she was just 9 years (according to some [i]Hadeeths[/i], she was just six!). Isn’t it a case of child abuse? When [i]Khadiza[/i], Mohammed’s first wife, died, he was 49 years, and between 49 and 63 (age when he died) years of his life, he married at least 11 times! Among his wives is, [i]Zainab[/i], who was initially Mohammad’s adopted-son Zayed’s wife. Do these examples justify the myth, that he was the greatest of all humans and God’s true messenger?

Last words- my final identity and aim in life:

I was a Muslim, but I’m no more. Does it mean- I’ve no identity to live with? Of course, not! My identity, echoing the words of George Bernard Shaw, is as follows: [quote] [b][i]“I’m convinced that my life belongs to the whole community; and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I got hold for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before turning it over to future generations.”[/i][/b] [/quote] Like the Greek philosopher I quoted in the beginning, I’m a citizen of the world! I don’t need any divine guidance for living a responsible and a decent life. All I need- common sense, compassion and reasons. I love to dream there would come a time in our world, when one person wouldn’t judge another person based on race, religion and complexion. Our first and last identity would be- humans, inhabitants of planet called earth! Superiority of any particular religion or culture over another wouldn’t prevail. I’m sure; I’m not alone in having such a dream! But I will do my part of the job. Through my writings, I would like to stimulate minds of educated Muslims throughout world. I aspire to revive the lost trends of ‘Golden Age of Islam’ (9th century to 13th century), which was marked by traditions of Muslim rationalists called [i]Mutazillatese[/i]. Inspired by the Greek learning, and adhering to rational inquiry, Muslim world flourished remarkably in Astronomy, Medicine, Mathematics, Arts and philosophy. Some great thinkers of golden age are- astronomer [i]Al Sufi[/i], [i]Al Biruni[/i] (born in 973), physician [i]Ibne Sina[/i] (born in 981), physicist [i]Al-Haytham[/i] (born in 965). However, this trend didn’t last . With the change of social-political phenomena, fundamentalism rose, and rationalist traditions submerged in the ocean of darkness, from which Muslim world is yet to emerge! But I’m optimistic, for change is the vital force of human history!