“I don’t have to show you anything!” said Piffy.
Now Goober was having second thoughts. Maybe she was a girl. She acted like a girl. She looked like a girl. He would find out! It was his duty as a Muslim. No girl dared talk to a future Mujahideen like this little snip was talking to him!
He moved so quickly he caught Piffy by surprise. He grabbed Piffy where no decent girl wants to be grabbed in public by so dispicable a creature. It was then that Goober realized with whom he was dealing. “Allahu akbar!” he shrieked. “It’s Piffy!”

She had a lovely voice. Alongside of her he sounded like Carl ‘Alfalfa’ Switzer with a bad case of laryngitis. But she was sad, so sad, and the more she sang the sadder she became. Then she started to cry. “What’s the matter?” he asked.
Maybe it was the song. But it was such a happy song. Girls! He didn’t understand girls! He put his arm around her to comfort her.
She winced. “My father beats me,” she said. She showed him the welts on her back. “He beats me with an electricity cable for being a bad Muslim.”

She took Piffy to McDonalds. He had a Big Mac Meal. A fat lady at a nearby table looked at him and then at bint Marwan. “Is that your child?” she asked. “He is such a well-behaved boy.”
Piffy wanted th throw his Big Mac Meal at her. “Don’t you dare!” hissed bint Marwan.
Piffy glowered. He didn’t like being ten-years-old. The only advantage so far was it gave him a better view of bint Marwan’s legs.

Asma bint Marwan was waiting for him. He had been wondering when she was going to show up again. She had shed the Old Hag routine. He was glad, the getup had scared the life out of him. She had reverted to Moll Flanders. She was wearing a thin peasant blouse and a short skirt–a very short skirt. He couldn’t take his eyes off her legs. He swallowed. This is how Marilyn Monroe must have looked to JFK. Maybe he should make the sign of the cross. He could see her bra glowing beneath the thin peasant blouse–her time warp between the 21st Century and the netherworld.

The reforms will not end there. Iranian women will soon be able to eat in public, vote, drive a car, and star in a network sitcom. Lord knows that the populace is tired of seeing Three’s Company reruns with some guy named Ahmed playing Chrissy!

A one-eyed ‘Asian’ wearing a skull cap and with a hook for a right hand was harranging a group of ‘Asians’ in front of a book display. He appeared angry and was gesticulating with his hook as if surrounded by drooling crocodiles.
“She likes John Travolta,” he was saying.
John Travolta? Did he say John Travolta? Piffy stopped. He wanted to hear this.
“John Travolta,” said the one-eyed ‘Asian,’ “Who is dancing and moving his stomach as quick as the–as I don’t know what–and she likes that…

Many Islamic countries print the Qur’an and distribute it free of charge. We encourage that because, as the reader will see shortly, there are many good uses for the Qur’an.

“How bad do you want to see the Archbishop?” he demanded.
“It’s a matter of life and death,” said Piffy.
“It’s about the fleas, isn’t it?” said Algernon.
“Yes,” admitted Piffy.
“It won’t be easy,” said Algernon. “Have you been cleared by the CIA? How about the FBI? How about Rush Limbaugh?”
Piffy swallowed. “Ah, no,” he said.
“No matter. Will it be Master Card or Visa or would you prefer our new 10-year plan?”

“Oh, you poor deluded fool!” said Clouseau. “They are not toenail clippings. That’s a euphemism. What they are after is far worse.” He paused, looked over his shoulder. “They are after–” He paused again to make the sign of the cross. “They are after the fleas from the Prophet’s beard!”

Mojo then ordered to cutoff their hands and feet (and it was done), and as well their eyes were branded with heated pieces of iron rods. They were put in ‘Al-Harrah’ and when they asked for water; no water was given to them”, till they died of extreme thirst!!!

Well, the Koran clearly says that a man can derive sexual pleasure from holding a baby; nothing more than that. Does the verse say that you can have intercourse with a child? Never… that would be haraam. This also prevents the man from visiting prostitutes. Look at the bright side brother.

Ok…Dr. Naik, you claim Muhammad (pbuh) is a holy prophet and a messenger of Allah (swt). Can you tell me of another prophet who promised his followers hookahs with scented tobacco on this earth and seventy two hookers in heaven?

“No,” he said slowly. “You’re not on the list. You appear to be an innocent bystander. Serves you right for being in an alley behind a sleazy bar. Do you always hang out in such places? You ought to join the AA. I can get you an appointment.”

UBC – So Allah (swt) plays tennis too?

Dr. Naik – Everything in this world is because of Allah. If Allah (swt) knows everything, what is tennis for him?

POW! The sucker punch caught him alongside the head and drove him to his knees. Gee Whiz, that hurt! He took a hurried look down the alleyway. He was expecting to see something green and oscillating. He was hoping for bint Marwan and her magic bra.

Allah gave our prophet the best death a man can think of, he died while making love to the one he loved to make love most.

Well Madame, two hours after becoming French, I was attacked by two Arabs!

Mohammed Atta and Hani Hanjour were bearing down on him like a couple of undertakers after a two-day old corpse and bint Marwan had disappeared inside her bra.

Allah’s Apostle used to visit Um Haram bint Milhan she was the wife of ‘Ubada bin As-Samit. One day the Prophet visited her and she provided him with food and started looking for lice in his head.

The real origin of Kamasutra is the Sahih hadith and the Sunnah of the “holy” prophet. But, alas ,the Hindus cheated and copied the jewels of Islamic texts in “Kamasutra”…

Here’s what I want you to do, put a beach chair and a copy of the Qur’an in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Qur’an to the water’s edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Qur’an in your lap. Open the Qur’an; the wind will move the pages, but finally the Qur’an will come to rest on a page.

The shoe slipped from Piffy’s fingers and went sailing across the street and into the believers gathered about the Imam. Something went ‘thunk’ and there was a stunned silence. Someone screamed. It was shock and awe! “He threw his shoe at ul-Haq!” a voice thundered.

Momma, don’t let your baby grow up to be a Muslim.

The fact is Islam has many good thoughts about sex…Suckling is good for the sake of “community relations”!!

Piffy stared at the shattered door. No one came to investigate. Perhaps they knew better. He retrieved his hat. Something had eaten its way through the brim. He lost more hats that way. He felt his wrist. He still had a pulse.