Hostage of Islam

Every war has soldier and heroes. I believe in our war against Islamic jihad Pamela Geller and Robert Spencer are heroes. Not only they are tirelessly shedding lights on the misinformation and propaganda that is spread by Muslims and their apologists they are also providing guidance to countless young Muslims who feel trapped by Islam and fear their families. And when their lives is threatened, as in the case of Rifqa Barry, they are the first to come to help.

They receive constant enquiries from young Muslims.  The following was forwarded to me by Pamela today.


Dear Pamela and Robert,

Just writing to you to share what I am going through at the moment. Got your contact details from the website

I was born a Muslim in Pakistan. I am currently a research student in the process of obtaining a PhD and not living in Pakistan at the moment. Since my teenage years I have had an inquisitive nature and always have questioned everything that have been told to me as the word of God. I always thought that it was the devil playing with my mind and all that mumbo jumbo. As a Psychology research student I have come to learn that I question the so-called WORD not because of the non-existent devil but because of the normal human nature of questioning things which do not make sense. And none of it makes sense to me. 

I do not have any problems with the basic fundamental teachings of any religion preaching goodness towards our fellow humans but do I really need to believe in GOD to be able to be a good human being? Because if I do have to believe in God then I would have to believe in the word of God which tells me to beat women, kill the people who are freethinking, and believe in the goodness of Mohammed and follow his teachings. I cannot believe in the goodness of a man who lived centuries ago, who married many women including a child, massacred 900 surrendered prisoners of war and order people to kill other people. Rationally, that is not possible. He might have been a good leader and I admire him for that, but a good human being…It is not possible.

Initially I thought, these are my own beliefs and my own questions about my religion and I can keep it to myself and just continue living my life. This has actually become really difficult because as soon as I introduce myself to someone my name automatically prints a specific brand image to another persons mind. So it is never a clean slate for me when I am meeting another human being, I am judged to have certain archaic beliefs, I am judged to have certain preferences, and I am judged to be conservative, homophobic, and all other stereotypes. I have to work hard to create a new brand image for me.

I just thought, i would just announce publicly that I am leaving Islam and that would solve my identity crisis.  That was really naive of me because, apparently, it is easier to be born a non-muslim rather then born a muslim and then later leave Islam. If I announce publicly, that would make me instantly eligible for death. My family is a little conservative, so I would lose them and lose 99% of my muslim friends. I would never be able to go back to Pakistan to visit anyone (I don’t really want to do that anyway but still it is my home).

I feel like a hostage, dont want to stay, but if I leave, then I would certainly have to fear for my life. If only everybody would leave each other to believe what they want to believe. I became a hostage as soon I was born, as soon as my father recited the adhan in my ear, I became a hostage. 

Currently, I question alot of things on my facebook profile and get alot of heat because of that but pondering over the question should I leave or not. I guess I have already left Islam its just a matter of how public it is and how it should be done. Sometime I am so angry that I just want to come out and have my facebook status as “I quit Islam” but some fears stop me, rational or not I dont know. I just want to be a human being, not a muslim, or a christian, or a jew, or a hindu or even an Athiest. I just want to be a human living his life, doing his reseach, learning and traveling and beling a good person. I think that is just too much to ask.

Sorry for the long Tirade :-) Feel free to give me comments about my feelings.


Hostage of Faith



Robert replied to Hostage of Islam as follow.

Is there any chance you could keep it quiet and just go about your business? And relocate to somewhere away from your family?


And this is the Hostage of Islam’s response.

Thanks for the reply.

At the moment I am quite far away from my huge family in a small non muslim country. Which make things a bit easier. But then I hear about honor killings which happen without reason by strangers who irrationally believe that its their duty to get rid of apostates. And I am not rich and famous to afford body guard.

I can keep it quite and just go about my business but then there is a constant feeling of hypocrisy which I already feel by being associated with a group that condones human rights abuses. It is a feeling of being trapped may be similar to a homosexual person who has not come out publicly yet. I wonder there must be hundred of ex-muslims who are just living normally? Or that is just not possible? 

Can you tell me what I should expect if I come out publicly?



As an ex-Muslim I also would like to add my two cents.


Dear Hostage of Isalm

There are not hundreds of ex-Muslims but millions and we are growing fast.  Just in Malaysia it is said that over a quarter of million Muslims have left Islam to become Christian.

This has led to clerics denying the claim and the government wanting to crack down on Christians and persecute them.  All that will only make the good people hate Islam more and leave it faster.  This data does not include those who left Islam and became Hindu, Buddhist or freethinkers. I know that many Iraqis have left Islam. The same is true in many Arab countries. But the country in which Islam has received a devastating blow is Iran.  Over a million Iranians have left Islam to convert to Christianity and many more don’t believe in Islam anymore even though they have not joined another faith.  So you are not alone. Apostasy from Islam is the fastest growing religion.

However, our time to come out and declare our disbelief in this lie is not now. At this stage of our battle against Islam we must do two things. First we must protect our lives.  There is no reason to seek martyrdom. This is nothing but stupidity. We have to live this life and enjoy it. We are not born to  get ourselves killed, but to live and to contribute to the betterment of the world.  The second thing we should do is to help other Muslims to see the light and to leave Islam too.  This we should do cautiously. Fortunately the Internet will allow us to reach to millions of people safely.

Don’t think you are a hypocrite. Consider yourself as a soldier.  Soldiers wear fatigue clothing so they are camouflaged. They don’t want to be easy target.  We hide our beliefs for the same reason.

As for your friends, you can find new ones who are not Muslims. This is not difficult.

As for your name, the idea that people will pigeonhole you as soon as they hear your name is just in your imagination.  People judge us by what we say and stand for, not by the color of our skin, nationality or name, and if they do, those are not the kind of people you want to be friends with.

I make a joke of my name. When I present myself, I say my name is Ali, but I am not a Muslim so don’t be afraid of me. I carry no bombs. It makes people laugh and at the same time it gives me an opportunity to tell how Muslims are brainwashed and how evil is Islam.  If a white guy says this they will accuse him of racism, but they can’t say that about me.

Don’t let these thoughts trouble you.  You live in a free country. You are not hostage of Islam.  Many apostates living in Islamic countries are hostages of this cult.  Focus on your studies and live life to its fullest.  Once you find a group of non-Muslim friends you will find a new life and gradually you’ll even forget you have even been a Muslim.

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Posted by on Oct 18 2011. Filed under Apostates of Islam. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

198 Comments for “Hostage of Islam”

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