Dear Ali Sina
I wrote to you an earlier mail ” I am free from Islam” and would like to share some more thoughts.
As I discover more truths about this barbaric religion, I am filled with remorse and a sense of shame pervades my being. How could I have allowed myself not to question my faith earlier? Four decades of my life would have been peaceful as I have always lived in fear of God. The good news is that my spouse is with me and we both have rejected our faith and we will teach our children the same. I am coming to terms with my hatred towards Islam. I am on the other side of the fence now and totally apologize/empathise with people of other faith for bearing the brunt of this brutal cult. An unbridled anger grips me when I see a Muslim. Though its no fault of theirs. They have been ingrained with strong beliefs that don’t allow them to see beyond their Prophet’s divinity.
Sometimes I feel like coming out openly and exclaiming to the world that I am not a Muslim anymore. Wisdom dictates that I shouldnt as it may expose me/my family to danger from this murderous cult. But I felt a terrible urge to tell Muslims to open their minds and seek the truth.
It is not easy though, for a Muslim to question his faith as it requires a very broad mindset and courage. I have been there and know how it is. When I had my doubts, I would shut off the thought and do namaz asking for forgiveness for even having that doubt. A muslim friend tried to show me the cartoon of Mohammed and I refused to see because I considered it a sin even to see it. I see myself as extremely fortunate to finally take up the courage and have an open mind to see through the absurdities of this religion.
After the December incident in India in Bombay, the insulting phrase “All Muslims are not terrorist but every terrorist is a Muslim” started doing the rounds on SMS. All my life I have lived in a perpetually apologetic way towards Non muslims. I hid my face from them whenever I heard of a bomb or killing attributed to Islamic terrorism. I was disturbed that the entire world was against us innocent muslims. So I started searching for evidence that defended Islam.
I first turned to the Quran for succor and was stricken with horror to find God to be some narcissistic, mighty dictator, spewing venom and belittling mankind. He constantly mocks his own creations and gives vivid descriptions of hell and torture(like being dragged by a noose around the neck, boiled in fetid liquid before being burned in eternal hell! Delightful description isnt it? I searched for any words showing love and compassion for a human. But it didnt exist. I saw Islam more as a religion of ‘Dos and Donts’ and ‘Forbidden’ and ‘Haram’. A religion I was so rooted to, did not give me any redemption except pointing me to Hell fires. No matter what good I did it always judged me for my sins – big or small. I saw myself as this dirty creature who was born only to commit sins because God created man weak. And if we did, then hell fire was ready and waiting. Was my God a cruel sadistic tormentor who created humans only to torture them? Other religions talk of love, kindness and forgiveness. Mine only talked about hell.
Next I chanced upon a translation of hadith. To my horror the beginning few pages were full of the sexual activities of the angelic messenger. I shut the book feeling dazed. My mind was in a grip of terror. What should I do? Who should I believe? My religion had become my nemesis. The only way out was to suppress all thoughts and believe in Islam BLINDLY! I told my wife, “I have decided to believe in my faith blindly”. Yes this is exactly what I said.
The journey towards enlightenment started when I saw PeaceTV. At first I felt happy that someone like Zakir Naik was holding the torch of knowledge to the Non Muslims. But his discussions raised more questions than ever before. In fact he is doing a good job of planting doubts and raising questions in our minds. His fiery debates, speeches and his attitude (which is taking on an increasingly belligerent tone) raised doubts.
Point out one outstanding Muslim achiever/contributor/humanitarian to society. Ironically the most successfull Muslims are the ones who are modern/broad in their outlook and do not follow Islam(One Eg Abul Kalaam the scientist.) Take a look at the muslim countries. The thruth cannot be clearer.
India is notorious for various Jamaats. What do they do? They travel the country teaching people to pray and read Quran. imagine a labourer toiling in the hot sun. They expect him to drop his work and come pray 5 times. Do they ever lend a helping hand to educate him or his children? Do they provide opportunities for his growth? No! Just pray.
Muslims produce children freely despite their poor financial status. When asked they reply “Allah created them. He will provide for them.” And see the result for yourself. Visit any Muslim locality in India. It is covered with filth and garbage lying around. All petty establishments like butcher shops, cycle repair, pan shops are owned by Muslims. These are the ideals we bequeathed from our Noble prophet.
Muslims are growing in arrogance with the knowing that only they go to heaven – even the criminal ones.
Imagine the likes of Thomas Alva Edison, Graham bell, Albert Enstein, Florence Nightingale, Mother Teresa who worked hard for making inventions and elevating the suffering of humanity roasting in hell. On the other hand people like Saddam Hussein, Gaddafi, Dawood Ibrahim all sitting enjoying young girls in heaven! Ridiculous isnt it? When I questioned a Mullah that it isnt a non-muslims fault that they are born so. Pat comes the reply. “Allah has put locks on their brains so they dont come to know” OR “Allah shows them signs to believe in him but they reject it”. As If a mere sign would help awaken a person!I am in the midst of a lot of changes as I am not sure how to concudt myself in Muslim society anymore. How can I go on pretending that I profess this faith? I cant tell anyone; not because of fear but because wisdom dictates so at the moment. I find myself without an identity today. I am not a Muslim anymore. The words Muhammed, Islam, Quran hurt. I dont want to turn to any other religion as I feel all religions are founded by humans.In the earlier days there was low awareness in society. It was not evolved yet. So a group of people decided to create an abstract God and put together some rules and guidelines which in their opinion were good for mankind. The strategy worked well. The only religion that I see identifying with is Hinduism. It is the religion of the heart and is very liberal. But I cant understand their concept of worshipping idols. My apologies.
My journey has just started. I believe there is definetly a creator of this world. Together with him I am a co-creator of my reality which I bring forth with my thoughts.
Mr Ali you are doing a great service through this website. FF was instrumental in my journey of seeking the truth and strengthening my resolve. The articles are a revelation. My earnest thanks.
I would like to continue to write and share my opinions from time to time. Thanks and Best Regards, Ahmed.
From: FFI Editor 3
It is so wonderful to hear from you again. I am publishing your email with my email to you.
I am also forwarding a copy to Dr. Sina. I am sure he will be happy to read your email. I am not sure how his times are nowadays. If he does send you an email, I’ll make sure the published posting is updated with his email to you too.
I am really glad you and your wife are coming to terms with Islam in the correct way in response to the clear truths lying within authentic Islamic books (Qur’an, Sirat, and Hadith). And, yes, please do write your thoughts and research on Islam in the future. We’ll be more than happy to publish good material from you (or your spouse for that matter). We, at FFI, are always on the lookout for researchers and writers who do research on Islam that corresponds to historical truths, or write about their journeys with Islam.
Please do be very careful with Muslims and how you share what you know with them. Never trust them completely even if they are next of kin. I say that not because I am prejudist against Muslims. Not at all. I am not prejudist against anyone including Muslims. I say it because it is part of Islamic creeds to deceive. It is an ordained command for them (taqiyya). Hence, an apostate and a non-Muslim should take that to heart and never trust a Muslim completely.
I am glad for you and your family. Your offspring are sure to be decent human beings, because they have you and their Mom to guide. What a wonderful thing. Imagine, all future generations from you will grow up with decent human values, and humane ethical norms..what a wonderful thing.
You mentioned you have some attraction to Hinduism. I am not a specialist on the subject. I live in the west and I had multiple friends and interactions with Hindus. My experience is a very positive one. Hindus were genuinely honest, caring, and loving people. They are against harming any “other” person because of his/her beliefs. You also mentioned about worshiping idols. I am not sure how that works in Hinduism. It may be purely a representation of something that is more symbolic than actual worship of an idol. But again, I do not know much about Hinduism. All I can say is that my experiences with people who happen to be Hindus were very positive. My own convictions, as I get older, attract me more toward agnosticism and more toward the necessity for man to find his own path that is in harmony with the bettering of the lives of other humans. But again thats me. I invite no one to follow me. I believe each one has to search for the inner light within him/her.
Kind regards and I wish you the best