Fatima's Story

My name is Fatima and I’m an ex-Muslim woman.

I was born into a fanatic Muslim family in Uzbekistan . It was a part of Soviet Union which is famous for its attempts to stifle all religions. But in Uzbekistan we practiced Islam absolutely freely. We lived nearby the capital in a luxurious house. My father was a very rich man and he could afford to have four wives. My mother was his fourth wife and the youngest one: when I was born she was 16. Two years after my birth she had her second child who was my brother Ahmed. She died when she was 19.

I don’t remember my childhood in details but I recall that it was normal: like all children (even Muslims) I played and enjoyed my life.

But when I was 10 my father got into trouble for operations with foreign currency (it was a crime in the USSR ). He was sent to prison. My stepmothers didn’t want to spend any money on me and Ahmed. Soon I found out that they were going to send Ahmed to a boarding school for orphans. I cried night and day but I was unaware what was in store for me.

In a nut shell, I was married off to a Muslim man. I was 10 and he was a 60-year-old brute. He promised my stepmothers that he would not sleep with me until I reached the age of puberty. But he came to my room soon after our marriage took place. It’s hard to portray all my sufferings and pains. Before my marriage I thought children were brought by storks!

I spent one year in his house and quickly got used to such life. But he desperately needed a son (he had 10 daughters) and I still wasn’t pregnant. He took me to the Muslim doctor. She explained that I simply wasn’t able to have children: I was too young. He didn’t believe and stormed at me. A few weeks later I was thrown out of the house. My stepmothers were also furious and told me that I had to be ashamed of my disobedience. They sent me to Ahmed.

I spent 7 years in orphan boarding school. After school I was free to go anywhere I liked. Soviet Union fell and everyone told it was time to leave Uzbekistan and head for capitalist countries. I agreed but unfortunately I didn’t have any money. Moreover I decided to take Ahmed with myself from school thus shouldering a burden of bringing up my brother.

I decided to find a newly-established feminist organization as I hoped they would listen to my story and help me. Of course they couldn’t help me as they were too busy celebrating someone’s birthday. But there I met an old Norwegian woman called Bente. She was 70 and didn’t have children. She was a career woman and was working as a lawyer in this organization. She almost fell in love with us and helped us to go to Norway . Ahmed is still living with her. We call her ‘mum’ and regard her as our true mother.

I’m studying at university and learning Norwegian. But most importantly I’m trying to forget my past. However it’s really hard to do as my husband managed to nearly ruin my life. I will never have children because of premature sex. I have never had boyfriends because I’m afraid to be touched by men in a ‘romantic’ way. I’m working with a psychologist to get over this complex.

I think everyone understand why I’m no longer a Muslim.